Teaching the Teacher
by ElizabethCartwright
Summary: Ben Cartwright meets the new teacher for Virginia City. But he's not the only one interested! Also pub on Boomers.


Teaching the Teacher

"Gentlemen, we are at six votes to one. That's all we need." Ben pounded a small gavel on the table. It had been a long afternoon and he was anxious to get back to his duties on the ranch.

The men looked about the round table and all but one man had his hand in the air. Tom Irving.

"A woman. I don't like this one bit, we've always had a male teacher here in Virginia City." Irving grunted, he stood up and slammed his chair back into the table.

"Yes we have and the last two were horrible, just horrible! We all know that. Now, we've been debating this all day and the vote was clear. Mrs. Catherine Timmons will be the new school teacher in Virginia City come the end of summer."

"And don't forget gentleman," Doc Martin added in, "she does have experience with nursing care, it will be good to have someone besides myself and my wife, should anything happen."

Ben walked out of the hotel with his hand on Paul's shoulder. "Ya sure she'll accept Paul? Mighty long way from New York, it's a whole different world out here."

Paul stopped and leaned up against a post beam, he thought for a moment before speaking. "She'll accept, she and Martha have been corresponding for some time now. Being that it is a mighty long way from New York and a whole different world, well that's more than likely one of her biggest reasons for wanting to come out here."

"Oh? She doesn't care for New York?" Ben folded his arms, his lean tanned frame that came from a life of hard work and clean air, was a sharp contrast to his close friend's pale skin and slight paunch from living within Virginia City's limits.

"It's not that, she's had a rather difficult time these last few years. Not in a financial way, she's a woman of independent means. But life's dealt her some rather cruel blows and I believe she's more than ready to leave the East behind her."

Ben's innate curiosity got the better of him. "What kind of cruel blows?"

"Ben, let me say this, I can attest to the fact that doctors don't always make the best of husbands. Doctor Timmons was one of the best surgeons in this country, but he was the worst of husbands."

"What? Why?"

"Ben, I've said too much already. She'll make an excellent teacher. I'm going to go send a wire right now."

"Alright Paul. You and Martha are still coming to dinner tomorrow night aren't you? I need to get back the money I lost in our last chess game!"

"Wouldn't miss it Ben, 'sides Hoss told me that Hop Sing's making roast pig and that he makes the best in the territory! Ummm…just don't tell my wife I said that." He chortled.

Ben patted his old friend on the back, "your secret is safe with me." Ben adjusted the brim of his hat to shield his face from the intense summer sun and headed back to the Ponderosa. On his way home, he considered what Paul had said, wondering exactly what he had meant about Mrs. Timmon's late husband.

Two women stood on the railroad platform holding hands and oblivious to all the scurrying going on around them.

The younger of the two women towered above her friend, they had been brought together by love, three years ago and had been close friends since then. Catherine's younger brother Andy had fallen head over heels in love with a girl named Millie. And at first, Catherine had been a bit shocked when she met the young woman. Whereas her brother Andy had always been slight in size and frail, Millie was a tall big boned girl with hair black as coal and a laugh so loud and infectious that it could be heard clear across town. They became friends quickly, despite the sharp contrasts in their appearances. Catherine was several years older than Millie, fairer skinned with auburn hair and large green eyes and a full half foot shorter than the nearly six foot tall Millie.

One year after Catherine's husband was shot and killed, Andy came down with a lung infection and died a week later with both women by his bedside. It had devastated the both of them and while Millie still had most of her family in New York, Catherine's family was all gone now. And she was done with New York, the whisperings, the gossipers, the hateful society people, she was finished with all of them. It was then she decided to send a letter to her friend, Martha Martin in Nevada to inquire on teaching positions out west. Having no idea at the time; that it would lead to a position in the very same town where her older friend resided with her husband. Martha and Paul had even wrote her to let her know that they had found the perfect house for her and it was only in need of minor work, she bought it promptly, sight unseen, relying on her friend's wisdom of the area. It was the chance of a lifetime, a dream she always held in her heart of going west and now she had the freedom and the finances to do it.

"There's still time to change your mind Cat!" Millie implored.

Catherine squeezed her hand. "I'm not changing my mind dear. I've dreamt of going west all my life and I can finally do it now."

"But all the way to the Nevada territory?! I've heard they still have Indians out there that scalp people and stagecoaches that get attacked and robbed. What if some crazy cowboy takes a shining to you, I'll bet he drags you away by your hair like some cave man!"

Catherine busted out laughing, "I think you have been reading too many of those penny novels Millie!"

"Pffttt, maybe, but ya know it's dangerous country out there!"

"And it's also big and glorious with trees and mountains and you could go for days without seeing anyone if you wanted to. Not like here, you can't even whisper without someone getting in your business. I'm tired of it Millie, I'm tired of all the hateful things in this city and the memories."

Millie nodded, knowing full well what Catherine had been through. "Who knows Cat, maybe you'll find a good man out there. One that deserves you, not like that stinkin' husband." She saw Catherine's head lower, "hey now, you're not still thinkin' any of that was your fault, are you?"

"He did always like to remind me what a poor wife I was."

Millie's tone changed to almost sounding angry and in truth she was angry, but not at friend. "Shhh now! Don't ya go sayin' that. That one was a fool and no man at all iffen ya ask me! He didn't know how good he had it."

They felt the vibration of the train approaching, the loud whistle and bell announcing its impending arrival. They only had a few more minutes together.

"Listen Millie, and don't argue. I put Andy's share of what's left of our family's money in your account at the bank this morning…."

"Whatcha…"

"shh, listen. It's not a lot of money, but it'll help, it's enough to start that dress shop that you always wanted."

"Whatcha go and do that fer?"

"Andy loved you and I know you loved him. He'd want that and so do I."

"ALL ABOARD!"

Catherine hugged Millie tightly. "It's time to go." Tears filled her green eyes.

Millie started tearing up and sniffling. "Ya promise you'll write me lots!"

"Every chance I get, I promise. Oh, I'll miss you Millie!" Catherine handed her bags and ticket to the porter.

"Sleeping room number 5 ma'am. Right down that way."

She stepped onto the train and nearly sprinted to her room. Throwing open the door, she rushed to the window and opened it, barely enough space for her to stick her head and arm through. "Millie! You take care of yourself!" She shouted above the loud train noises. The train slowly chugged out of the station and Catherine stayed at the window until she could no longer see her friend. As New York City began to shrink and open countryside could soon be seen in the distance, she pulled off her hat and sat down. With a heavy sigh, she leaned back and smiled, "Nevada." The words of the New York Tribune editor came to her mind but as she said them, she changed the words slightly. "Go west young woman and grow up with the country!" Young, she shook her head. Ten years of marriage to Mark Timmons had done away with any feelings of being young, she often more beat down and tired then young. But perhaps, she thought, the west could breathe new life into her.

The trip into the west had been arduous and Catherine was much in need of a good night's sleep but she barely felt the tiredness. When buildings faded away and open country and sky went as far as the eye could see, she began to feel a weight lifting from her shoulders. This is what she had always dreamed of. When the stagecoach pulled into Virginia City, Catherine stepped out and pulled a large measure of air into her lungs. Air that carried no odor of waste or coal, air that she could not see, unlike the air of New York that often turned brown when there was no breeze to carry it away. After all the delays in her trip out west, she had remained undaunted. From a broken down steam engine to a drunken stage coach driver, her dream of the west helped keep her spirits high throughout the journey. The one thing she was concerned with was how the delays had pushed back her arrival to only a week before the start of school and there was so much to be done before then.

"Catherine!" Doc Martin yelled out from across the street. Doc Martin and his wife had been checking the stages daily, waiting on her arrival and became increasingly worried as the first day of school loomed closer. He jogged across the street to meet her. "Catherine! We were beginning to think you wouldn't make it in time!"

"Paul, it's so good to see you again!" She broke into a wide grin. "There were so many delays getting out here, but I think it was worth the journey. Where's Martha?"

"She's at a quilting bee right now but she'll be home in a few hours. We were getting worried about you!" Paul helped gather her bags for her as the driver carelessly tossed them down.

"I'm just glad I finally made it. The country on the way here, oh it's beautiful!"

"It is something, but don't forget it can be a hard place too, you're not in the big city anymore."

"Thank goodness for that!" She laughed.

"C'mon, you must be exhausted. I'll take you over to the hotel and later, Martha and I will have you over for supper."

"Oh I'm not tired. I've never felt so awake! I was hoping, perhaps, you could take me to see my new house."

"Are you sure you're up for it?"

"Positive! I can't wait to see it."

"Alright then, let's get you checked into the hotel and we'll take a ride out there. I think you'll like it Catherine, nice size for one person, close enough to town to walk to but far enough away you won't feel you're right on top of everyone."

The house was everything Martha and Paul had said it was. It was a small ranch house that sat just outside Virginia City's limits. The wrap-around porch caught her eye immediately and she was able to envision herself sitting out there to enjoy the sunrises or curling up with a good book. Even the three stable barn looked to be in good condition. It was a sturdy, comfortable house and with a good cleaning and a few coats of paint, it would be perfect.

Ben looked up from his accounting books as the front door open and slammed shut. "It's about time you boys got back." His three sons gathered in front of the desk. "Well, how are things at the lumber camp?" He asked anxiously.

"Oh," Adam started, looking very serious. "I suppose things are going okay. Hoss, you think things are going okay?

Hoss grinned slightly, "yep reckon things are just fine."

"Now boys, what exactly does okay and just fine mean? You know we're on a tight schedule for that order." Ben closed his book hard and tossed his pencil on the desk.

"Okay and fine, considering we're three days ahead of schedule!" Adam let out a laugh.

"Ha! Three days ahead! That is wonderful news, wonderful!" He got up from his desk and put his arms around his sons.

"Pa, one of our biggest orders yet and we're gonna make them so happy with beating their schedule, they ain't never gonna get lumber from anywhere but the Ponderosa from now on!" Joe beamed with pride and his father ruffled his hair.

Ben put his thumbs in his pockets and rocked back slightly on the heel of his boots. "You three have been working mighty hard on this, real hard. Well..I'm proud of you. All of you!" He paused for a moment, feeling a swell of pride in his three very different sons, they had come together to get the lumber for this project done and despite a good deal of bickering and head butting, they were nearing completion of it. Allowing them to take over on the project had also given Ben some much needed time to concentrate on their large herds of cattle and planning new and higher quality grazing fields so they could add to their stock. "Come on, let's eat dinner. Oh Hoss, I want you to come into town with me the day after tomorrow, there's some new grains in town I want you to look at with me and we need supplies."

"Yessir."

Ben carried a large sack of grain on his shoulder and threw it into the back of the wagon. Lifting off his hat, he wiped the sweat from his brow and waited for Hoss to come out with the last of the supplies they needed. Ben took a look casual look around at the people milling about, but he stopped when he caught sight of a woman across the street that he had not seen before. She was petite and fair with auburn hair that looked like fire when the sunlight caught a hold of it. She was carrying a large stack of books and walking at a rather brisk pace.

"Ben? Ben?"

He suddenly realized he'd been staring at the young woman and hadn't even seen Paul approaching or felt him poke his shoulder with his finger. He shook his head with a smile. "Sorry Paul, what were you saying?"

"I see you spotted Virginia City's new teacher." Paul Martin chuckled at his friend.

"Oh? That's the woman we hired to be the new school teacher? What was her name again?" He had been so wrapped up with business on the ranch the last several weeks, that her name escaped him.

"Mrs. Timmons. Yes, that is the woman I recommended for the position."

Ben leaned up against the wagon, "somehow, from your description, I suppose I thought she would be much older. Widow from New York, she'd been married to a great surgeon, nursing, teaching. Yes indeed, I thought she would be a good deal older." He gave Paul a knowing look, he had the distinct impression that Paul had deliberately made Mrs. Timmons seem older in order to get her the teaching position in Virginia City.

"She is all of that, but no I wouldn't say she was older and I don't ever remember giving the board her age." Ben knew that mischievous look on Paul's face, he'd seen it many times before when they played chess together.

"She's lovely." The words escaped from Ben's mouth before he could retrieve them.

"Oh, I suppose. If you like your women petite, that is."

Hoss came out of the store with a large sack of flour and sugar. "Pa!"

"Sorry Hoss." He grabbed them both and threw them in the back of the wagon. His attentions though were soon back across the street. "Half the men in this town will be pursuing her. Paul did you bring her here to teach or to find a husband?"

"Oh, well." Dr. Martin scuffed at the ground with his boot. "Perhaps a bit of both and I suppose Martha and I wanted to help her with her dream of coming west too. Don't forget, she's quite skilled in nursing care. She might prove to be a good deal of help. Now I better get going or Mrs. Martin is going to have my hide for being late to dinner again!"

"Okay Paul." He patted his friend on the shoulder and watched him take off down the sidewalk, hurrying to get home in time for supper. Ben turned his attentions back to the young woman for a moment until Hoss brought out the last of the supplies.

"That about does it Pa! How 'bout a beer?"

"Yeah, that sounds good Hoss, real…"

"Let go of me!"

Ben turned quickly to see Danny Irving with a firm grasp on the new teacher's arm. He ran across the street with Hoss following right behind him. "Danny!" He bellowed.

"Let go of my arm, please!" He could hear the fear in her voice.

"Now see missy, that's all ya had to do was ask nice like." Danny released her arm and the books she was carrying went falling to the ground. "No harm done Cartwright, jest offerin' the lady an escort." He chuckled and leaned back against the wall.

"Obviously, the lady doesn't want you to escort her." Ben retorted. He knelt down to help Mrs. Timmons pick up her books.

Hoss moved in front of Danny, "Ya heard my Pa, go on and git outta here."

Mrs. Timmons quickly picked up a few of her books and made brief eye contact with Ben as he knelt down to help her.

"Are you alright?" His voice was comforting.

"Yes I'm fine, thank you."

His hand went beneath her elbow and helped guide her to her feet again. "You have quite the stack of books here. Are these for the school?"

"Yes, they are. I'm the new teacher here."

"Yes I know. Mrs. Timmons, isn't it?" Ben smiled at her small nod. He looked down at some of the titles of the books he was holding. "Perhaps..perhaps you'd allow me to carry these for you. You have quite a few and it is a bit of a walk to the school."

"Thank you. You're very kind, Mister…."

"Oh! Ben, Ben Cartwright."

"Thank you Mister Cartwright."

"Hoss? Hoss, I'm going to see Mrs. Timmons to the school house. I'll be right back."

"Sure thing Pa, I'll get the wagon ready."

"That's your son?" She asked as they started walking.

"Yes, that's Hoss."

"Hoss. That's a mountain name isn't it. A big man with a big heart?"

"Why yes, yes it is. His real name is Eric, but his older brother wanted to call him Hoss and it just, well I guess it just stuck."

"So he has an older brother too?"

"Yes Adam, he's my eldest son. And Hoss has a younger brother too, Joseph. We sometimes call him Little Joe. Hmm, sometimes I think I should stop calling him that. Joe's a young man now. I guess it's hard sometimes for a parent to realize his children, his sons, have all grown up."

"Three sons! You and your wife must be so proud." She smiled warmly at him and it was then he noticed her deep green eyes for the first time. A man could be forever lost in those green eyes, he thought to himself.

Ben stopped for a moment, "Well no, you see it's just me and my boys."

"Oh I'm sorry Mister Cartwright."

"Don't be, I've raised the three of them on my own and I must say, I'm pretty proud of how they all turned out."

She stopped at the stairs to the schoolhouse and looked up at her tall rescuer. For just a moment, she took note of how handsome he was, his dark eyes and silver hair. But she quickly pushed those thoughts from her head. "Well, here we are at the school."

"I'm sorry about Danny, I think he may have had a little too much to drink."

"There's no need for you to apologize. Hopefully he'll sleep it off and be a little wiser the next time he decides to take a drink."

She opened the door and went inside, putting her books on the teacher's desk and Ben laid his stack of books there as well. "I must say, it's been a long time since someone's carried my books to school. Thank you Mister Cartwright."

Ben rested his hand on one of the books on the desk, "Hopefully…hopefully you'll let me carry your books to school again."

"I'd like that." She smiled warmly at him and their eyes met. They stood motionless for several moments. "You know I just realized, you're the Mr. Cartwright that's on the school board?"

"Why yes I am."

"Then my deepest thanks for this teaching position. I'm most looking forward to it."

Ben bowed slightly, "you are most welcome. Your credentials far exceeded any of the other candidates we had." He toyed nervously with his hat. "I should get going. Hoss is waiting."

"Oh yes Hoss."

Ben headed for the door and opened it.

"Thank you again Mister Cartwright."

"Ben, just Ben." He smiled widely.

"Ben."

"You didn't tell me your first name."

"Oh….it's Catherine."

"Catherine….well, good day Catherine."

"Good day, Mister…Ben."

Ben went down the stairs of the schoolhouse, grinning from ear to ear and put his hat back on. He stopped on the bottom of the stairs, tapping his hand on the bottom baluster. Turning and looking back at the schoolhouse door, he took his hat off again and went back up the stairs, opening the door. "Catherine?"

She turned from the blackboard and was glad to see him standing there again. "Yes Ben?"

Fiddling with hat, he met her halfway across the room. "I was wondering, well I was wondering if you would like to have dinner with me this Friday at the International House. It's the finest restaurant in Virginia City, perhaps in all of the territory."

"I'd like that." She nodded.

"You would?"

"Ummm… yes I would." Catherine bit her bottom lip, thinking for a moment. "I'd like to talk to you about getting some new history books for the children, if it's the school's budget.

Ben put his hat back on, "yes of course. Seven, can I pick you up at seven?"

"Seven would be fine."

"Good! Well…good day again." Ben opened the door.

"Good day, again." She giggled a little.

Ben went down the stairs but his smile disappeared. He ran back up the stairs again and opened the door. "I'm sorry..where can I pick you up on Friday."

"Oh!" Catherine laughed. "I just bought a small place outside of town. I'm told it's the old Stephens place. Do you know it?"

"Yes, yes I do. Friday then, seven o'clock at the old Stephens place."

"Yes Ben."

"Good, good. Well then good day Catherine."

She bit her lip to keep from giggling. "Good day Ben."

Ben went down the stairs one more time, smiling all the way. As he put his hat back on his head again, he saw Danny across the street, watching. Ben glared at him, but didn't say a word, Danny didn't flinch he just stood there watching for a few more moments and then slowly walked away.

"Dad burn tie!" With growing frustration, he yanked his black tie off again and started over. Ben stood in front of the mirror in his bedroom, all dressed for a dinner in town, except for a tie that was getting the better of him.

"Hey Pa!" Hoss knocked on his bedroom door.

Ben opened the door and let his middle son in. "Hoss would ya help me with this," he handed over his tie. "I seem to be all thumbs today."

"Sure Pa, but whatcha all dressed up fir?" Hoss began putting his father's tie on for him but he moved away slightly, checking the mirror again and smoothing back his silver hair.

"Oh, well, I'm going into town for dinner."

"Got a meeting tonight Pa?" He asked while trying once again to tie his Father's tie.

"No, not exactly."

"So, whatcha all dressed up fir?"

Ben couldn't stand still. "Hoss, do you remember Mrs. Timmons from the other day?"

"Mrs. Timmons…oh ain't she the new teacher? The one Danny was giving some trouble."

"Yes, yes that's her. I asked her to dinner at the International House."

"Really?!" Hoss couldn't help it, his mouth dropped open in surprise. It had been a long time since his Pa had taken a woman out for the evening. He had heard the rumors last summer of Joyce Edwards and Pa, but had never believed them. Reckon a man can get lonesome at any age, he figured. His father was in a constant state of motion, making it impossible for Hoss to work the tie properly. "Pa! Would ya stop fidgeting?!"

"Huh, oh sorry Hoss." Ben did his best not to move. He hadn't felt this nervous in a very long time.

"I swear Pa, you're worse than when Joe was just a midget and ya tried to get him ready for church!"

Laughing, Ben threw up his hands. "I remember, but before I could get him dressed proper, we had to catch him first. Sorry Hoss, I'll stand still."

The sound of hooves galloping up to the house fast stopped the work on Ben's tie and their banter. Hoss went to the window and looked out. "It's Willie, from the lumber camp. What's he doing here?"

"Go find out Hoss, I'll be right down." Ben looked in the mirror and made one last loop of his tie. "Finally!" He straightened his silver vest and grabbed his black jacket off the bed, slipping it on over his broad shoulders.

"Pa!" Hoss shouted.

Ben heard his son's anxious call and started down the stairs, "What's wrong?"

"There's been an accident at the camp! Willie says Joe's hurt and several of the men too."

"Joseph?" His heart began to pound in his chest. "No, how bad is it Willie?"

"Don't know Mister Cartwright, whole pile of timber came crashing down. Didn't see it happen, Adam sent me down here ta fetch ya and Hoss and Jimmy's headed to town ta get the doc."

"Let's go!" Ben had forgotten he had already hitched Buck up to the buggy but instead of unhitching Buck, he opted to take the buggy, knowing he may well need it to bring Joseph home. "Hoss, you ride on ahead, I'll catch up." It was a full hour's ride up to the logging camp by buggy, but if Hoss rode Chubb fast, he could make it up there in half the time. All thoughts of his dinner in town with Catherine were gone, he had just a singular thought, Joseph.

Pacing the floor, she stopped in front of the fireplace and checked the mantle clock again. "7:30." She whispered to herself. Going to the window for the fifth time, she looked out at the empty yard. The sunset was casting a multitude of colors across the sky and Catherine lit a match, putting it to the small lamp by the front window. She turned the flame up high and blew on the match. Touching her hair, she felt a loose strand and went back to the mirror to make a final fix. Checking herself, she remembered how her friend had helped her pick out the deep forest green gown and how Millie had cooed over it when she had put it on. Millie had fairly gushed over how beautiful Catherine looked in the gown with its tight fitting bodice and cream colored lace insets. As she looked at herself in the mirror, she wished for Millie's lush curves and height. How many times had her husband told her she could never properly fill out any outfit? Frowning at herself in the mirror, she stepped away, her dead husband's words echoing in her head.

Catherine paced the room a few more times and finally, with a breathy sigh she sat down on the settee, she pulled a book off the side table and put on her rectangular glasses. I should have known, she thought to herself. He probably wised up and changed his mind. Despite her best effort, she couldn't concentrate on the open pages before her. Ben's dark eyes and warm smile took over her thoughts. The slight chime of the clock, heralded the new hour. Looking up, she sighed and removed her glasses. 8 o'clock. With a few steps, she went to the lamp by the window and turned it down. The sound of a carriage approaching drew her back to the window.

She threw open the front door and stood on her porch. "Paul? What are you doing here?"

Paul Martin got down from his buggy and approached the porch. "I could use your help, there's been an accident. Apparently, there's several men injured." It donned on him suddenly that she was in a formal gown. "You have other plans this evening, I'm sorry."

"No I don't Paul, I'm afraid my company for the evening didn't show up."

"Whoever did that is a fool. You look lovely. But you better go change if you want to help out. Some of those men don't leave the camp often and you showing up in that…well, not the best idea."

"Of course, I'll go change and get my medical bag." When she went to her room and closed the door, she stripped off her gown and hid it in the back of the armoire. She opted for the much more appropriate black slacks and blue top. Deftly, she removed all the pins she had painstakingly added a few hours earlier and as her auburn hair came down, she pulled it together and tied on a black bow. Picking up an old worn black medical bag that had once belonged to her father, she returned outside and got in the carriage next to Paul.

He flicked the reins and they started the long ride to the camp. "I was wondering, that company you spoke of, that wouldn't be Ben Cartwright would it?"

"Yes…yes it was. How did you know that?"

"Couple things I s'pose, Ben and I are old friends. But he didn't stand you up. For one thing, he wouldn't do that and the other…it's his logging camp that had the accident."

"Oh no! Is he hurt?" Foolish, she felt foolish. He hadn't stood her up after all. Now her mind was filled with a hundred things that could go wrong at a lumber camp or mill.

"Don't know what happened or how bad it is. One of Ben's foremen came down to get me, told me there's a lot of men hurt. Had no idea you'd be getting tested on your medical skills so soon."

"It's alright Paul, I'm happy to help."

They fell into silence for most of the ride to the logging camp, but as they drew closer, Paul felt compelled to speak with her. "You know, Ben Cartwright's a good man. I've known him a long time, since Little Joe was born."

She considered his words and curiosity got the better of her. "So you knew his wife?"

"Yes, actually, I only met his third wife Marie. I never met Elizabeth or Inger, they both died before Ben came out here."

"Third wife?" She exclaimed. She didn't know quite what to think.

"Yes, and Marie died when she fell from her horse when Joe was just a tyke. Ben's had so much tragedy in his life. But now he has three good young men as sons and the Ponderosa. That's his world now. Well, it was his whole world."

"I can't imagine how hard it must've been." Her heart broke slightly for the man she barely knew. "He must be so proud though of his sons and what he's built here. I can see that being all a man really needs."

"It's not everything a man needs Catherine. Catherine, remember, not all men, not most men in fact, are the same as Mark was. I know how he treated you, how he talked down to you. Martha and I, well we know you deserved better than that. 'Specially Martha."

She folded her hands tightly in her lap. Ah, but if you get told enough times what a poor excuse of a woman you are, you start to believe the words no matter how much you fight against them.

"Come on, we're here, grab your bag." Paul stopped the carriage hard. They both grabbed their medical bags and jumped from the carriage, rushing to where several men were laid out on cots or on the ground. They reached the middle of the scene, just in time for Catherine to see Ben grabbing a man by the collar and throwing him against the wall, even under the moonlight and glow of lanterns, she could see that his warm dark eyes had turned to near black with rage.

"You could've killed them!" Ben pulled the man up by his shirt. "Drinking on the job! You get your pay and you get the hell outta here!" He pushed the man aside and started back towards his youngest son.

"Doc!" Adam yelled, "am I ever glad to see you!"

Doc Martin leaned down over the man that appeared to have the worst of the injuries, a green break to his right leg. "What happened?" He asked.

"Franklin, the man Pa just fired, he was messing around, drunk, caused a whole pile of fresh cut timber to come crashing down that hillside, several men were working below and got hurt. No fatalities, thank heavens. But listen, Little Joe got hurt too, pushing one of the men out of the way of those logs. Not bad hurt, his hard head might need some tending."

"Sure Adam. Oh Adam, this is Mrs. Timmons, the new school teacher. She has an extensive medical background. I figured she could be of some help."

Catherine was fixated on what she had just seen with Ben.

"Mrs. Timmons?"

"Oh I'm sorry, yes?"

"I'm Adam Cartwright." He held out his hand and shook hers firmly.

"Catherine, why don't you see about Adam's brother?"

"Of course." Catherine followed Adam over to where a young man lay on a bare cot; he couldn't have been more than nineteen or twenty in age, smaller in size than both his brothers.

"Little Joe." Adam said. "This is Mrs. Timmons, she's going to take a look at your head wound."

Ben spun around at the name, the anger cooling in his blood. His eyes sought to meet hers but she quickly averted his gaze and focused her attentions on the youngest Cartwright.

"Hello Joe, I'm just going to take a look at that cut on your head. Do you have a headache?" She turned his head slightly to get a look at the wound just above his ear.

"Yeah something fierce!" Joe's hand went to the side of his head, he could feel the warm wetness of blood in his hair.

"I need more light, could you get a lantern closer please?" She asked Adam. But it was Ben who brought the lantern close to Joe's head. He stood on the other side of Joe and watched as she tenderly examined his son's wound. It was a deep cut, but not very long, a small stream of blood was still coming from the wound. "I'll need a razor please, I need to get rid of some of his hair around the wound so I can clean it properly."

"You're …. You're gonna cut my hair?" Joe tried to raise his head up in disapproval but his Father stroked the top of his head.

"Don't argue Joseph." Ben told him softly but firmly enough to silence any further dissent.

"Just a little Joseph, I promise, just enough so I can take care of this cut properly." Catherine reached into her black bag and pulled out a small bottle. Pouring just a capful, she brought the cap to Joe's lips. "Drink that. You'll need it."

"What's that?" Ben asked.

"Laudanum, just a drop is all he needs. I'm going to need to do a few stitches. The skin on the skull isn't very thick, it will hurt something fierce but the medicine will keep most of that pain away. He should feel the medicine take effect in just a couple minutes."

Adam returned with a razor.

"Thank you." She went over to the other side of Joe, and leaned down to trim off the hair surrounding his wound. "Ben, can you hold the lantern a bit lower please?"

Adam looked over at his Pa and Mrs. Timmons, it hadn't been lost on him that she had called Pa by his first name.

"Joseph, how are you feeling?" She asked in a near whisper.

He lifted his hand up, "ohhh finnneeee, jest fine." He snickered a little. "Hey ya know what?"

"No, what son?"

"Pa, she's pretty." Joe looked up at Catherine, his eyes glazed over, "you're pretty."

Catherine laughed a little, "I'd say the laudanum has taken effect. Let's get those stitches done."

"Might be the laudanum," Ben quipped, "or could be the boy's got good taste."

She tried hard not to look up at him, not wanting him to see how much his anger had affected her, it brought too many memories forward. She worked three stitches into Joe's head and tied off. "That should do it." She diverted her attention to Adam. "Make sure he stays off his feet for a couple days and keeps that wound clean. If you take him to the doctor's office next week, he'll remove the stitches for you."

"Thank you very much Mrs. Timmons." Adam extended his hand gratefully.

Joe raised his hand up and tapped his brother's hand. "She's pretty."

Adam rolled his eyes. "Yeah Joe, you've told us about five times now."

She couldn't help but laugh, "don't worry that laudanum will wear off in another ten minutes or so. He's going to have one heck of a headache. I need to go check on everyone else."

Ben could hardly believe she was walking away from him with nary a word. He handed the lantern to Adam and caught up with her. "Catherine. Catherine!" She stopped and turned to look at him and he felt his nerves building again. "I'm sorry about dinner. But, it couldn't be helped." He pointed towards Little Joe.

"Oh I understand about dinner, don't worry about that."

He couldn't understand her coolness, "something's bothering you. I could see it, I know we barely know one another, but I could sense it, the way you kept looking away, like you were avoiding me."

She looked down to the ground, not knowing what to say. He was a man of such great contrasts and she was having difficulty making sense of it all. The gentleman that had carried her books and had the most beautiful and kind eyes, the angry man that seemed like he could've killed that drunken worker with his bare hands and the tender father that stroked his son's hair and held his hand. At least with her husband Mark, things had been quite clear, he was uncomplicated in his disdain for her.

"Catherine!" Doctor Martin called out for her. "I need your help!"

"I have to go." Catherine walked away from him quickly and went to Doctor Martin's side where he and Hoss were trying to hold a man down while his leg was being set. "Sedate him please! He's going to cut an artery with that bone if he doesn't settle down!"

They worked on the injured to the wee hours of the morning. Ben watched her tending to the injured men tirelessly throughout the evening. He had directed Adam to take Joseph home in the buggy and gave a short but sincere thank you to the heavens that his son's injury wasn't serious. With the injuries mostly all cared for, Hoss and Ben loaded the two men with the broken bones onto the buckboard for Paul to take into town and back to his office for further medical care.

"It's been a long night. I'm going to get these men into the beds at my office and then I'm going home to my wife." Paul yawned. "Ben, would you mind taking Catherine home? You can take my buggy and I'll pick it up tomorrow."

"Of course, you go on home now and get some rest. Say hello to Martha for me."

"I'll do that." Paul grinned tiredly. He pointed over to where Catherine was washing her hands in a basin. "She didn't stop working all evening, not even to eat. Bet she's tired and hungry."

He watched her dip a cloth into the basin and use it to cool her face and along the neckline of her blouse. "Yeah, I'll see to it she gets some food into her. Don't you worry."

"Oh and Ben, she told me you were going to take her to dinner before all of this happened."

Paul wasn't usually one to ask about Ben's affairs. "Yes, yes I had planned on dinner with her. Why?"

"Nothing really, it's…well she's had a lot of..a lot of bad times and memories. And like you, she's also had more than her fair share of tragedies."

"What are you saying Paul?"

"Oh nothing!" Paul shook his head at his own worrying, "you're the last man I'd worry about."

Hoss came up beside them, "Pa, I'll ride alongside the Doc here, he ain't gonna be able to get those men outta the wagon on his own."

"Thank you Hoss." Paul said.

He watched the men ride off and he turned back around towards the camp. The logging camp had grown quiet, most of the men had gone to bed or were huddled around the campfire. In a few hours, the sun would be up and the camp would spring back to life. He wondered how much time would be lost in the cleanup and how the temporary loss of a few workers would hurt his son's timeline on this project. Perhaps, he thought, he should come back the next day to oversee the project. He looked for Catherine and was pleased to find that she had finally sat down, he hadn't seen her sit down once all night. He poured cool water into a tin cup and brought it to her.

"Ahh, thank you Ben." Her mouth was parched and she drank down the water quickly. She felt the hollowness in her stomach and realized it had been nearly twelve hours since she'd last eaten. "Paul's on his way back to town?" She asked.

"Yep, he asked me if I'd mind taking you home."

Catherine smiled slightly to herself. She had the feeling that Paul and Martha had been playing matchmaker since the day she arrived in Virginia City.

Ben offered her his hand and when she took it, his large hand enveloped hers and she felt his touch in every nerve ending of her body. She found herself raising her head to look into his dark eyes, made even darker in the lamplight and saw a new expression in them that she hadn't seen before, his dark eyes were almost smoky. Had he felt the same sensation when he touched her, she wondered?

The ride home in the buggy was fairly quiet, both of them exhausted from the evening and hungry. "We're going to stop by my place first and get some food into you before you waste away." She had simply nodded her agreement.

"This is it." Ben opened the door wide and let her walk through first.

Even through her tired eyes, she was taken aback by the large great room with its huge stone fireplace. This was a man's home, masculine and proud. "It's wonderful Ben!"

"Thank you, it's very comfortable. But very masculine."

"It suits you."

Ben removed his hat and realizing how dirty his dress vest had become, he took it off and laid it on the sideboard. He took her hand and led her over to the settee. "Now you sit right here and let me see what I can find in the kitchen." He turned back, "coffee? Should I put a pot on the stove?"

"Coffee sounds good, the sun will be up soon, it's probably pointless to try and get some sleep now."

Ben returned a short while later with two plates of cold fried chicken and biscuits. "It's not as fancy as the International House, but it'll do." He sat down next to her.

"Right now," she smiled, "this looks like the best food in all the territory."

Before he started on his plate, he put his napkin on the coffee table. "You go ahead and start, I'm just going to check on Joseph real quick." He bounded up the stairs, taking them in twos and he slowly opened Joe's bedroom door. His youngest was sound asleep, snoring lightly.

When he returned, he anxiously dived into eating, having only had some jerky at the camp, he was famished.

"Ben, back at the camp, when first got there. You were so angry, I saw you throw that man against the wall."

He leaned back on the settee. "You saw that?"

"Yes and I must admit, at first it frightened me."

"Is that why you were so aloof when you were tending to Joseph?" She nodded her reply to him. "I'm sorry Catherine, I lost my temper for a moment. When I smelled the whiskey on his breath and I thought of how his drunkenness could have caused so much more injuries and damage. I lost my temper."

Catherine leaned back on the settee, turning to face him. "And that Joseph could've been hurt a lot worse or even killed."

Ben nodded, "yes, exactly."

"I understand that now."

He reached over and slowly brushed a lock of her hair that had fallen on her face, his fingers guiding it behind her ear. His mouth was only a few inches from hers and he wanted very much to take her in his arms and kiss her. But he thought on Paul's words and knew he would need to take things slowly. "I'll go check on that coffee, it should be ready soon."

Catherine rested her head on her arm, still feeling the sensation of his fingers on her cheek. She closed her eyes at it.

When Ben returned with a full coffee service, he set it down on the coffee table and smiled. She was fast asleep on the settee. Ben leaned down and draped her arms around his neck then scooped her up in his arms, marveling at how light and petite she was. Her face nuzzled into his neck as he started up the stairs. Depositing her lightly on the guest bed, he pulled a cover up over her then closed all the curtains tight so the sunrise wouldn't wake her. "Goodnight" he whispered softly and placed a brief kiss on her cheek.

Ben drove her to house and went round to her side of the carriage to help her down. He thought of the look of surprise on her face when she had appeared at the top of the staircase earlier that morning. She had been so deep in sleep last night that she had no memory of him taking her upstairs to the guest bedroom.

"I'm so sorry I fell asleep on you Ben. I never even got to try your coffee." She smiled warmly at him.

"You were exhausted, we all were. No apologies needed. Besides, you can try my coffee another time."

He had held her hand as he helped her down from the carriage and kept holding it as he walked her to the front porch. She stepped onto her porch and her hand squeezed his slightly.

"Thank you for bringing me home."

"It's the least I could do." He told her seriously. "Catherine, the way you helped Joe and the other men that were hurt last night…you had such caring for all of them…it was, well it was a sight to behold. You never stopped, not until the last man had been treated." Ben hesitated a moment before speaking again, "you must've learned a lot from your husband."

Catherine's smile disappeared. Her deceased husband, Mark, was the last person she wanted to discuss. But Ben's comment needed a reply, she felt she needed to say something no matter how veiled it might be. "I did learn a lot of medical skills from Mark." She sat down on the porch step, trying to gather her thoughts, the last thing she wanted to do with Ben was to whine and tell him how bad her marriage had been.

Ben, still clasping her hand in his, sat down beside her. His thumb stroked the top of her hand slowly and softly. His eyes searched out hers, he had learned a few things from Paul about her marriage, but they had been vague remarks and he wanted to learn everything about her, the good and the bad.

She met his eyes with hers for a moment then found herself looking across past her land towards the vast mountains in the distance. Catherine spoke in a near whisper, "I did learn a lot of skills from Mark, my husband. But I learned about the heart from my Father."

"The heart?" Ben asked. "Was your father a doctor too?"

She nodded slightly. "He was. Not a famous doctor like Mark was, no exciting articles in medical journals or the toast of society. My father, well, I guess you could say he was a poor country doctor in Vermont with a big heart. That's where I grew up. Doctor Cormac Fitzpatrick." Saying her father's name brought a smile to her lips.

"You loved your father very much, didn't you?"

She smiled wistfully at the memory. "Do you know what Cormac means?"

"No, tell me."

"It's a king. Cormac, in ancient Irish history was a king, a great king. He was well known for being wise and honest and generous to a fault. And though, not a king, my Father was to me just like King Cormac. Wise and generous and kind."

"And Mark, he was not kind?"

"No, he was not kind or generous." Catherine had a far away look in her eyes and Ben wondered if she was still haunted by memories. She shook off the memories and returned to the present. Rising to her feet, she looked into his chocolate eyes. "Thank you for bringing me home."

"It's the least I could do after everything you did to help at the camp. To help my son." He took a step closer to her. "I was wondering…I'll be up at the lumber camp most of this week. But perhaps, Saturday I could interest you in a picnic. I'd like to show you the Ponderosa."

"Oh," Catherine started, "I had planned to start painting this house on Saturday. What with school starting on Monday, I won't have a chance to do anything with it this week. And as you can see, it really does need some paint."

"Yes it does." He eyed the exterior of the house with it chipped off paint and uneven wood tones. "It's an awful big project for one person." Grinning broadly, "tell you what, Saturday morning I'll come help you paint, then we can have a picnic later."

"Ben, I can't ask you to help me with that. Especially, since you'll be working at the lumber camp all week. You'll be tired."

"Me tired? Never! And you don't have to ask. I'm volunteering."

"But…" he silenced her objections with a finger to her lips.

"It's settled then, next Saturday morning. Painting and picnic."

"Very well," she conceded. "Painting on Saturday." The man was impossible to argue with.

"Good! Good. I'll see you then." He said, but he found it impossible to stop holding her hand.

"I should get inside, I have a lot to do to get ready for Monday."

"Ah yes, your first day of school." Ben released his hand from hers. "Good luck teacher!" He put his Stetson back on and started for the buggy.

"Ben?" She called.

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

"For what?" He asked.

"For everything."

He tipped his Stetson to her, a warm smile spread across his face like a ray of sunshine and Catherine help but return his smile. "Bye Ben, see you Saturday." He waved as he drove off and Catherine stayed on the porch watching him until he was out of sight.

Ben stayed close to home the rest of the weekend, keeping a close eye on Joseph and by Sunday afternoon, Joe was close to his normal self again and Ben was relieved there were no aftereffects from his wound or concussion.

Mornings, always found Ben awake before the sunrise. He would often times sit out on the veranda, watching the sunrise and drinking his first cup of coffee. But on this morning, he rose even earlier than normal, there was a delivery to be made. With a near full moon to guide him, he saddled Buck and headed towards town.

When he arrived at his destination, he hung the small white bag on the doorknob, careful to leave a note sticking out just enough to be seen. Grinning like the Cheshire cat, Ben flicked the brass bell hanging next to the door, and pictured Catherine ringing the bell in a few short hours to welcome the children to the first day of school.

The sun was starting to come up and he mounted Buck, galloping most of the way towards home and made it to the barn when Adam came out the front door.

"Pa, what are you doing out so early?" Adam asked, still wiping the sleep from his eyes.

"Oh, I had a special delivery to make."

After breakfast, Ben, Adam and Hoss left for the lumber camp. Joe was ordered to stay at home till his stitches were removed and he was to tend to the books until that time. To Little Joe, it seemed a lot more like a punishment than a few relaxing days at home. But Ben was a firm believer that each of his sons should know and understand every aspect of running the ranch, even the most mundane of tasks. And this was the perfect opportunity for Joe to learn more about the accounting part of the Ponderosa.

Catherine left bright and early for the schoolhouse. She hadn't eaten breakfast, her stomach full of butterflies. She gathered up the armful of books she'd brought with her and started up the stairs to the school. When she pulled out her key, she noticed the small white drawstring bag hanging from the door knob and a note sticking up at the top. Putting her books down on the step, she removed the bag and pulled out the piece of folded paper. To my favorite school teacher. Good luck today. Ben. The butterflies disappeared and she pulled open the bag to find a shiny red apple inside. "An apple for the teacher." Catherine leaned up against the door looking at the apple and the note. "Ben." She whispered and beamed to herself, thinking of his wide warm smile, dark eyes and his gentle touch when he had held her hand just two days before. She unlocked the door and went inside, putting the apple on the corner of her desk. Now if the day grew difficult she could look at that red apple and think of him.

She returned to the step outside and started retrieving the books she had left behind. Her head lifted at the sound of her name being called.

"Mrs. Timmons, Mrs. Timmons, a word if you please!" He was a large man dressed in a dark suit at least one size too small for his rotund frame. She had no idea who the older man was, but she certainly recognized the young man walking behind him. It was Danny, the one that had grabbed her arm last week in a drunken state.

"Good day Mrs. Timmons, my name is Tom Irving. I believe you have already met my son Danny."

Her eyes shifted from father to son, the way Danny was leering at her made her profoundly uncomfortable. "Indeed I have," she answered.

"My son has mentioned that you two had a nice conversation last week and I thought what a wonderful idea it would be for you two to get to know each other better!"

She was dumbfounded, nice conversation? There hadn't been anything nice about their prior meeting at all.

"So," Mr. Irving continued, "I would like for you to join us for dinner this Friday evening. Say 7 o'clock?"

"Thank you very much Mr. Irving, but…"

"You are aware that I am on the school board."

"Yes, yes I'm aware of that Mr. Irving and I do very much appreciate your kind offer, however I have already accepted another invitation to dine with Dr. Martin and his wife, Martha, we are old friends you see." She was lying through her teeth, there were no plans for Friday evening but the idea of spending an evening with Danny Irving repulsed her and she was beginning to get the same bad feeling about his father. Catherine leaned down to pick up the rest of the books she'd left on the step, she noticed that neither of the Irving's were lifting a finger to help her. But when she picked up the books, Ben's note slipped from her fingers and fell at Tom Irving's feet. For once, Tom Irving bent his large frame over to pick up the paper, she rolled her eyes when he bent down to pick it up.

"You dropped something." He eyed the folded paper and opened it.

She was fuming, how dare he, she thought! She extended her hand to retrieve the note, but instead, Tom Irving passed it to his son.

The son read it and snorted, "what's an old man doing writing you a note like this?! That's Ben Cartwright ain't it?"

"Please give me the note." Catherine thrust her hand out again.

"Pa, that ol' man and his boy Hoss were the ones that wouldn't let me take Mrs. Timmons here on a tour of the town. Whatsa ol' man like him want with her anyways?!"

"Old man?" Catherine scoffed, "he's not much older than I am and you young man, could very nearly be my son! Mind your manners please and give me back that note."

"So the great Ben Cartwright has taken a shining to you, has he? Well no doubt my dear, the money must be a big attraction to you." Tom Irving sneered at her.

"You forget Mr. Irving, as a member of the school board I am sure you were made aware of my financial status when the board hired me. I'm a woman of independent means, money is not an attraction."

"Perhaps my dear, but time will tell. So, how long has Ben Cartwright been the apple of your eye?"

Her hands were beginning to tremble but again she extended her hand. "Mr. Irving, my personal affairs are none of yours or your son's business and I'll thank you to give me that note back."

Tom Irving crumbled up Ben's note and put it in the palm of her hand. "Mrs. Timmons, when it comes to my son and his happiness, everything is my business."

Catherine breathed a sigh of relief as she saw the first few children beginning to arrive for school. But Danny drew closer to her, putting one hand on the wall and blocking her from opening the school house door. She reached across him for a small rope hanging from the brass bell next to the door. Clanging it as loud as she could, right next to Danny Irving's head, it was enough noise to make him move away. She was able to open the door now and leaned against its frame, breathing a heavy sigh of relief. She put on a smile, "welcome children!"

Ben pulled out the contract again, spreading out the pages on the one shaded table at the lumber camp. He poured over the words, making sure, just one more time that nothing had been missed. The lawyers at the railroad companies were well known for slipping in lengthy verbiage that could easily be misconstrued or missed entirely. Adam, saw his father, from a distance, going over the contract again and it annoyed him. Ben realized that Adam and Hoss had things well under control, but still the worrisome father in him reared it's head and he needed to make extra sure. Despite the accident at the camp, three nights ago, only a day and a half's work had been lost and they retained a full day's cushion of being ahead of schedule. If Ben had his druthers, however, another day on top of that would have been even better. The accident could have been much worse and he was thankful to have any extra time.

All the I's were dotted and the t's crossed. He wasn't sure what he was doing at the logging camp anymore, it was the end of the week and it had become obvious that his sons had things well in hand. He chided himself for his lack of faith, they were good sons, better than any man had the right to wish for. He merely had to look at Adam to know that his staying at the camp all week had hurt things, made them think there was a lack of faith. It was Ben's own worrying and he knew it. There were plenty of other things that needed handling, his plans to buy more land, increase the cattle herd and change the quality of feed to make better beef stock. All those came to mind, yet his worrying had gotten the better of him. Joe had rejoined them yesterday and as he looked at his three sons, he wondered how they had all grown up so fast and become men, it had happened in the blink of an eye.

"Adam?" He called. "Adam!"

Adam appeared by his side, covered in sawdust and sweat. "Yeah, what is it Pa?"

It wasn't easy but it had to be said. "Listen Adam, I was…well I was thinking you don't really need me here and there is plenty of other work for me to do."

Adam crossed his arms across his chest, "so what you're saying is, you trust us to get the job done properly?"

Ben met his son's glare. "Yeah, that's what I'm saying."

His eldest son gripped his shoulder. "We won't let you down Pa."

He walked over to Buck and mounted up. "I know you won't son."

Ben headed back home at a canter, but as he reached a crossroad, he stopped and checked out where the sun was in the sky. If he rode hard, he figured, he could be in Virginia City before school let out. She'd been on his mind frequently over the past week. His thoughts, occasionally would wander to her during the daytime, thinking of their talk on her front porch or carrying her in his arms to the guest bedroom. At night she had visited his dreams and one morning he had even found himself between sleep and awake and he had reached out for her, expecting her warm body next to his. But he awoke fully to find that he was yet again alone in his large bed.

He had arrived in town in time to find Catherine in the schoolyard with a small group of children that were waiting on their parent's arrival to take them home, mostly settler families that lived well outside Virginia City limits. Ben stepped into the shadows not wanting to disturb her. With a great deal of fondness, he remembered the days so long ago that he had taken his own sons to school, how much of the day had been spent taking the boys to and fro. When business had picked up, he had largely relied on Hop Sing, after Marie was taken from him, to transport his sons. He remembered the day he had grown comfortable enough with Adam's skills at driving the carriage, he had allowed Adam to take himself and his two younger brothers to school. It was a day that Adam had looked so proud, his chest puffed out, eager to please his Pa. Brought back to the present by the sound of her laughter, Ben stayed back, laughing and admiring Catherine as she played Graces with the children.

His two closest friends, Paul and Roy, came up on either side of him.

"It's a lost cause." Roy sighed, glancing across the street towards the school with a small mischievous grin.

"Yep," Paul agreed. "Completely lost cause, you're a goner for sure Ben."

"Lost cause? Now what in heaven's name are you two jawing about?" He folded his arms across his broad chest and eyed the both of them.

"You Ben!" Paul laughed, "you're a goner old friend, you're in love!"

"Me?" Ben laughed, shaking his head. "You don't know what you're talking about! I barely know Catherine!"

"The how long doesn't matter, you know that. You're in love! I know that look on your face ol' friend."

"Oh? And what look is that?"

Paul hesitated for a second, "Ben, you look at Catherine like you looked at Marie."

Ben stepped back, his memories floating back to his third wife then his gaze fixated on Catherine.

Roy felt the air change between the three of them and sought to lighten the moment. "C'mon Ben!" He put a hand on his shoulder, "I'll buy ya a beer and we can toast to the end of your bachelor days!"

His smile returned to his face and he took one last look at Catherine laughing in the schoolyard before he followed his friends into the Bucket of Blood for a beer.

"So…when ya seeing her next Ben?" Roy teased as they sidled up to the bar.

He grimaced, knowing that there was a ribbing coming. "It just so happens that I'm seeing her tomorrow. I'm helping her paint her house."

"Paint her house?" Paul shook his head with exasperation, "Ben Ben! Painting?! Roy this man needs some lessons on how to court a woman!"

"Don't look at me," Roy guffawed and took a large gulp of beer, "I'm a confirmed bachelor and too old for all that romance mumbo jumbo!" The three friends enjoyed a laugh that had been too rare between them, but it was not to last.

"Hello Ben." Tom Irving walked into the bar and stood next to the three friends, his son Danny ever present behind him. "You'll excuse me for interrupting the three of you, but I have something I wish to discuss with you Ben Cartwright."

Ben turned around and leaned up against the bar. "State your business." His voice was icy with contempt and the complete disdain he had for this man and his shady business practices.

"My need to speak with you is of a more personal nature." Irving replied.

"Whatever it is, can be said right here and now. I say again, Irving, state your business."

Tom Irving lit up a thick and cheap foul smelling cigar, blowing the smoke in Ben's face. "Very well, it seems that you and my son have something in common."

Ben raised his thick eyebrow, he couldn't imagine having anything in common with either Tom or Danny Irving. "Oh? And what would that be Tom?"

"Catherine, she's mine!" Danny spat out.

"Yours?" It was all he could do not to laugh. "Catherine? Mrs. Timmons?" Ben put his beer down on the bar. "What in the Sam Hill are you talking about?!"

"I'm talking about you ol' man making a fool of yourself with her!" Danny hissed at him. Ben took a step forward towards him and Roy put his hand on Ben's arm.

"Now Danny," his father advised, "be a little more polite please, especially around your elders. What my son is referring to is that you both seem to be vying for her affections. But you're losing Ben, Mrs. Timmons is rather taken with my son, isn't that what you told me Danny?"

"Yep that's right Pa, she wants me not some old man!"

"You can't possibly believe that!" Paul Martin jumped in, he knew Catherine to well to believe it.

"Now Ben, Mrs. Timmons, Catherine would be good for Danny. Sometimes a young man needs an older woman to guide him. She's in the prime of her days and you, you're on the downside of life. Why don't you do everyone a favor and step aside?"

His head was reeling, it couldn't be true, could it? "I haven't heard the lady asking me to step aside." He asserted.

"Ben, you've had your chance at marriage and what do you have to show for it?" Tom's tone had turned ugly and spiteful. "Three young dead wives. That's what you have!" He took another long drag on his cigar. "Unless of course, you already have a stone picked out."

"a stone?!" Ben's body was tight with rage and his voice came out through gritted teeth. "Say what you mean!"

"Why a tombstone Ben, have you already bought a tombstone for Catherine? Is that it? The fourth dead wife of Ben Cartwright?!"

Ben connected a right hook to Tom Irving's jaw, sending him reeling back into a table. Paul and Roy grabbed Ben's arms and it took all of their combined strength to keep him from beating the life out of Irving.

Danny Irving grabbed hold of his father and helped him to his feet. "You're a fool ol' man, and blind! Dontcha know? Catherine and I had a great laugh the other day over that note you left her! An apple for your favorite teacher? You're a fool ol' man, she don't want you. She wants a man that's still got life in 'em!"

Paul waited until the Irvings left. "Ben what was he talking about? An apple?"

He no longer felt sure about anything. "I left a present for her on Monday, an apple for my favorite teacher."

"Ben listen to me," Paul took hold of his arm. "Danny's lying. She wouldn't do that, I know her. It's not Danny Irving she wants, it's you."

Ben turned around and ordered a whiskey.

"Listen to me! She and Martha have been catalog shopping every night this week, curtains, dishes, you name it. Look I'm trying to say that there's no way Catherine spent any time with Danny, there's just no way!"

The hot liquid slid its way down Ben's throat, he slammed the small shot glass on the bar. "Yeah. You're right Paul." But he ordered another whiskey, the fourth dead Mrs. Cartwright repeating in his head.

"Chess, Ben?" Paul walked with him outside the bar after Roy headed back to his office.

"Sure, sure."

Inside Doctor Martin's home, his wife Martha, poured the two men liberal shots of brandy while they set up the chess board and lit cigars that were in Paul's finer box of cigars.

He would've liked to win back some of the money that he'd lost to Paul in their last two games of chess, but Ben knew he wasn't on top of his game this evening. Too many things were on his mind. He moved one of his pawns ahead two squares to start the game.

"You know Ben, I know Catherine would never see someone else. She cares about you."

"Yeah I think I know that."

"No Ben, you don't, not really." Paul took a large drag on his cigar and blew out a smoke ring. "Has she told you how her husband died?"

Ben looked up from the chess board, "No, she hasn't. I figured she might tell me when she's ready to."

"She won't, she's ashamed."

"Ashamed, why?"

Paul moved one of his pawns forward. "Because of how he died, how he treated her when he was alive and how that supposedly high society of New York City treated her. Ben, her husband was shot and killed…by an angry husband that found him in bed with his wife."

He grew angry, wondering how anyone could bed another woman when they had such a lovely and caring woman at home. "My God, what she must have gone through." Now he was beginning to understand what Paul had said at the lumber camp about her having so much tragedy in her life.

"Your turn Ben." Paul leaned back in his chair, Catherine was a long time pen pal and friend of his wife, long before she had made the trip to Nevada. Martha had come to share the letters with her husband, heartsick over the suffering of her younger friend. He felt it was time that his old friend knew more about her, if only to help him understand. "After Mark was killed, his Mother made sure that everyone knew how it had been Catherine's fault. In her eyes, Mark had married beneath him, a backwoods country girl with a sickly little brother. And it was her fault that Mark sought out the arms of another woman that held as high a place in New York society as he did. They scorned her, the lot of them, talking behind her back and whispering of how she'd only married Mark for his money."

Ben shook his head sadly. "Catherine."

"Ben he treated her horribly. I told you I met her at a party when I went to New York for that conference. What I didn't say was how he had humiliated her at the party and Martha spent the rest of the evening with her, trying to console her. He berated her in front of everyone, when one of the doctor's that had heard about how talented she was, complimented her on her grasp of treating people and suggested she should try and find a school that would accept a woman for their medical program. Mark grabbed her arm, told her she was too dull witted for school and how she was too ugly to even be a proper hostess at the party. She ran out in tears and Martha followed her."

Martha could no longer stay out of the men's conversation and made her voice heard. "That man, the things he would say to her, the way he paraded other women around his wife. He beat her down so far into a hole, I didn't think she would ever get out. But now she has, she's on her way, she left those snobs in New York and fulfilled her dream of moving out west! Sometimes though, I think she's haunted."

"Haunted?" Ben asked.

"Haunted by the words and the memories of how he had treated her. I think sometimes they still haunt her. Poor girl! I don't know how men can be so cruel to women, treating them worse then their own horses!"

He thought on that far off look in her eyes last week when he had brought up her husband, perhaps she was haunted by him still. He wanted to free her of that pain, put his arms around her and assure her that she would never hear words like that from him again. But he had his own demons to wrestle with. He only half-heartedly played the chess game and lost quickly to Paul. As Ben put his hat on and prepared to leave, Paul stopped him.

"You know that Danny's a liar don't you?"

"Of course I do. But I still wanna know how he found out about that note!"

"Well then if that's not what's really bothering you, what is?" Paul asked.

Ben opened the front door, "you know I had three wives, all of whom I loved very much. Does a man or should a man at some point say he's got enough? "

"It was what Tom Irving said about burying a fourth Mrs. Cartwright, that's what's eating away at you, isn't it."

"I dunno Paul."

"Well I do know, you're in love with Catherine. Don't lose that, every man deserves a chance at happiness."

"And I've had three chances, all of them gone."

Crawling underneath the sheets of his large bed, he put his hands behind his head on the pillow. Deep in his thoughts until sleep finally caught up with him. A painful memory crept into his dreams. Ben sat outside on the veranda, enjoying his pipe and coffee. His wife had gone out for a ride by herself, as she often loved to do. She was a spirited rider and he often worried that her penchant for riding her horse fast as the wind could carry her, would one day lead to an accident. He heard Marie galloping up towards the house and before he could even see her, he had an urge to yell slow down but knew if he did, she would tease him later about being such a worrier. He looked up at her riding in, with his pipe in hand. Marie's horse hit a chuck hole and threw her hard, her head hitting the fence as she fell. Terrified, Ben ran to her, she was lying face down in the dirt. Before he rolled her over, he knew she was gone, her neck was broken, he could see it. Tears welled up in his eyes and he turned his wife over into his arms. Brushing the hair from her face, it wasn't Marie's blank stare that he saw. Ben sat bolt upright in bed with a grunt, sweat beading on his chest and forehead. "Catherine." It was her face he saw, that blank death stare, her small broken body in his arms.

Sleep wouldn't find him again and he poured cool water into his wash basin, splashing it onto his face.

When sunrise came and breakfast was finished, he returned to his room to dress for helping Catherine paint her house. He put on his denims and a white and black plaid shirt. He buttoned his shirt and found his eyes drawn to the three framed photographs on his dresser. Elizabeth, Inger, Marie. He had loved them with his whole heart. He picked up each frame in his hands, staring at their images.

Adam knocked on the door and opened it slightly, sticking his head in. "Pa? Can I come in?" Adam and his brothers had all noticed how quiet their Pa had been at breakfast.

"Sure Adam." Ben put the photograph of Marie back on his dresser.

Adam saw his Pa looking at the photos and he walked to the dresser, picking up the small photograph of his Mother and sat down at the edge of Ben's bed. "Do you still think about her?" He asked.

Ben took the photograph from his eldest and looked at Elizabeth's lovely face. "Of course I do, your Mother, she was so lovely. She would be so proud of what a fine young man you've become."

"I wish I had known her." Adam tried not to think about it often. He had a great father and two younger brothers, but every once in a while, he would think about her. "Sometimes, I think about her and wonder what she would say when I had something on my mind."

"And do you?"

"Do I what Pa?"

"Have something on your mind. When you were younger, we had many conversations just like this. You'd come into my room first thing in the morning with a troubled mind and we could talk things out together."

Adam crossed his legs and leaned against the footboard of the bed. "Guess this morning I've been wondering about you having a troubled mind."

"Me? What makes you say that Adam."

"Well you were pretty quiet at breakfast. And last night, Joe, Hoss and I went into town to blow off a little steam. Bartender told us what happened earlier with you and the Irvings."

"I see." Ben put the photograph of Elizabeth back on the dresser, next to Inger and Marie.

"This Mrs. Timmons, you're fond of her aren't you?" Adam asked.

A few years ago, Ben wouldn't have even considered sharing his thoughts on such a subject, but Adam was a grown man now. "More than fond of her I think, Adam."

"You think or do you know?"

Ben paced the floor for a moment and stopped in front of the dresser again. He leaned in front of the photos, three times a widower, he closed his eyes. "Sometimes I suppose a man my age could get to wondering if life is as good as it's gonna get and should he leave well enough alone."

"You mean like there's nothing left? Nothing to look forward to?" Adam shook his head.

"Not like that." Ben shoved his hands in his pockets. "I'm saying this badly. I'm in my forties, I'm not a young man anymore."

"You're not an old man Pa."

"I know that Adam. But I've got three sons I'm proud of, this land and I've had the love of three women. And I buried those three wives. That should be enough, shouldn't it?"

Adam thought for a moment, "for some men, maybe, they'd be hanging up their hats and takin' to their rocking chairs. But that's not you Pa and I don't think it ever will be. You've never been a man to rest on his laurels. You still work and live more than most men half your age. Don't think like that Pa, life isn't over and don't let the chance at love be over either." Adam got up from the bed and went over to the dresser, looking down at the photographs. "I don't think they'd want you to give up on finding lasting love either Pa. They'd want you to be happy, so do your sons."

Ben's mood lightened at his son's words. "Thank you for that Adam. You know you're pretty smart!" He grinned slightly and put his arm around Adam's shoulders.

"Thanks!" He smirked. "I got it from my Pa." Adam went to the bedroom door and stopped. "Pa. Be careful of Danny Irving. I remember him from school, before his father sent him back east for all those years. Something's not right with him."

"I know I get the same feeling Adam."

"Be careful Pa, 'kay?"

"I thought I was the one that was supposed to be telling you and your brothers that."

"Guess today it's my turn." Adam grinned.

The buckboard was hitched up and the back filled with extra paint, brushes, ladder and a full picnic basket that he had asked Hop Sing to prepare. To the basket, Ben added two wine glasses and one of the finer bottles of wine he had stored.

He enjoyed the ride over to her place, it was a beautiful morning with a light breeze. He thought he could feel the slight change of autumn in the air. He sat up, spotting a horse and rider coming up over the hill in a full gallop. Caught by the sunlight it impaired his vision for a moment then the rider came into view, it was Catherine. She saw him and waved, directing her horse towards the buckboard.

"Good morning!" He smiled as she rode up. "Did you forget our plans for today?" He took in the sight of her, she had her auburn hair down loose, he hadn't realized how long it was, reaching down to the curve of her breasts. He could see the smallest amount of bare leg between her boot and split skirt.

"Oh no, Belle and I were just getting in a little sunrise ride. It's such a beautiful morning and she loves this land." Catherine patted Belle's neck.

"And the rider, how does she feel about this new land?" Ben was curious to hear it directly from her, the west was not for everyone, it could be a loving mother or at times a brutal taskmaster and she had yet to experience her first winter in Nevada.

"I love it here, I've dreamed of coming west since I was a girl!"

Ben flicked the reins to keep his horses moving. "It was my dream for a long time too. It's a bit easier to make it out here now then when I made the trip." Ben took in a deep breath of the mountain air, filling his lungs with it.

"Look at it Ben." She sat high on Belle taking in the mountains and tall pines in all their glory. "Have you ever seen anything so beautiful as Nevada?!"

"I have."

His voice had changed, deeper and softer somehow. Catherine turned to see he was looking at her and not the mountains. A surge of warmth reached her cheeks and reddened them. How he looked at her, no one had ever looked at her the way Ben did and she was uncomfortable with the sudden warmth she felt rushing through her. "Too bad you didn't bring Buck! Belle and I would've loved to have beaten you in a race!"

He was well aware she was trying to change his focus and he let it pass for now. "Oh so you think the two of you could beat Buck and I, do you? We'll just have to put that to the test sometime soon, won't we?"

Catherine flicked Belle's reins and he watched her take off ahead of him at a full gallop. She arrived at her home, well ahead of Ben and disappeared inside. He pulled up as she emerged from inside with a tray and two cups of coffee. "Coffee's still hot. Would you like some?"

"Yes please." He jumped down from the buckboard and picked up the picnic basket from the back, bringing it onto the porch. "For our picnic later."

"What's in there?" She couldn't resist trying to take a peek and lifted the lid slightly before Ben slammed it back shut, startling her.

He pointed a finger at her, "Now, now you wouldn't want to ruin the surprise, would you?" His expression of mock indignation made her laugh.

"No sir!" She giggled.

Ben pulled out a chair from the small porch table and sat down, Catherine sat down beside him and handed him his coffee. They sat in comfortable silence for a moment, enjoying the company and coffee.

"Ben, I wanted to thank you for the present you left at school for me on Monday. That was so thoughtful and truly a wonderful surprise." She deliberately left off the part about her very unpleasant encounter with the Irvings.

He looked down into his coffee cup, searching for the right words, desperate not to offend or hurt her feelings. He cradled the cup in both hands, his gentle smile disappearing. "Catherine, is there anything else…anything you want to tell me about the note that I left you?"

She looked at him quizzically, not understanding the question. "About your note? No..what do you mean?"

"I suppose what I want to know is if you have any idea on Danny and Tom Irving came to find out about it."

"Those two!" She slammed down her coffee cup into its saucer, visibly bothered. "They came by the school Monday morning, before class. I had a passel of books and your note slipped out of my hand. Mr. Irving grabbed it and read it, he wouldn't give it back! He made some awful snide remark and showed it to his son. I'm sorry Ben…but how did you know about it?"

"I had a few words with them yesterday. Tom Irving inferred that my attentions towards you were unwanted and that perhaps, you and Danny…"

Catherine's green eyes grew wide. "No! That's not true Ben. When they came by on Monday, he wanted me to spend the evening with his son and I turned them down. The whole conversation, it was disturbing."

He put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Ben I don't know what it is, but something about Danny Irving, the way he leers at me, he frightens me." Her hand went over his and she felt the same surge of warmth she had earlier, but didn't move her hand away. "He doesn't have my attention Ben, I promise you that." She stopped short of telling him that his attentions were the only one she wanted.

He had his own bad feelings about Danny Irving, but that's all he had, his gut instinct. "I don't think you have to worry much about Danny, sounds to me like he has a bit of a crush on you. Can't hardly blame him for that." His hand drifted off her shoulder and rubbed her back slowly.

Catherine nearly bolted out of her chair, "we should get started painting or we'll be painting by the moonlight."

He sighed heavily, his eyes following her. He wanted to go to her and take her into his arms, take away whatever was haunting her, with a deep kiss. Instead, he nodded and finished unloading all of the supplies from the buckboard.

"I think you have enough paint for three houses!" Catherine laughed at the number of paint cans Ben brought out.

Her mood lightened and the conversation flowed easily throughout the morning while they worked together on getting her house painted. He talked about his sons and how different they were and at the same time so close. She admired how animatedly he talked about building the Ponderosa and how much he loved the land. He didn't realize that he was doing most of the talking and how much Catherine was enjoying listening to his stories. She loved the sound of his voice.

As the day grew warmer, he rolled up the sleeves of his plaid shirt and undid a few buttons. She watched him and took in a sharp breath at the sight of his broad chest and the swirls of silver and dark hair on his chest, how soft it appeared. Ben cleared his throat, her eyes darted upwards and she blushed a fierce pink, knowing he had seen her looking at him. He had merely grinned, turned back to his painting and began whistling a tune.

She disappeared around the side of the house and when he hadn't seen or heard her in a bit, he put down his brush and went to find her. He found her boots in the grass, and there she was standing on top of the porch railing, balancing on her bare feet and trying to reach and paint one of the cornices. This time he was the one to take a moment to admire, she looked like a ballerina, standing on her toes, slender legs bare to almost her knees and the way she stretched to reach the cornice.

She was reaching to far, he thought and moved beside her on the ground, to catch her if she should slip or if the narrow railing gave way. "Catherine, be careful."

"I'm careful, don't worry!" She smiled sweetly at him as he stayed there watching.

But he had been right, she tried to extend her reach too far and lost her balance. Ben grabbed her waist to keep her from hurting herself but the paint brush slipped out of her hand and made a wet smack on the side of Ben's head.

She stepped back and put her hands over her mouth. Paint dripped from his hair onto his ear and streaked the side of his neck. "Oh Ben, I'm sorry! I'm so…" she couldn't contain herself and broke into a fit of giggles. "Sorry…sorry!"

"You don't look very sorry!" His hands went to his hips. He was trying very hard not to laugh along with her.

"Oh I am, I am sorry." But the giggles just wouldn't stop.

"Give me that!" He demanded and grabbed the paintbrush. "Young lady, there's only one way to make this right!" He strode over to the paint can and dunked the brush in, fully loading it up with white paint.

She spied his mischievous grin and her giggling stopped. "Ben Cartwright, you wouldn't dare!"

"Oh, wouldn't I?"

She took off like a shot around the side of the house, her laughter echoing as she ran away.

"Fair's fair!" He called, chuckling as he took off after her. She wasn't hard to find, her giggles gave her away. When she tried to sneak around the corner, he was there waiting for her. "Gotcha!" He laughed, one strong arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her against him. He'd been laughing so hard, he had to catch his breath.

"Ben! Don't!" She struggled slightly against him, but her smile gave her away. Her hands pressed against his chest. Ben took the paintbrush and dotted the tip of her nose with the white paint. The sensation of her small frame pressed against his was almost too much to bear. The mischievous grin disappeared and the paintbrush dropped to the grass. He put a finger under her chin and drew her mouth up to his, meeting together in a brief kiss.

She pulled away from him, her fingers touching her lips. Ben thought she looked to be on the verge of tears. "I'll…I'll get you something to clean that paint off."

He raised his eyebrows, disappointed and saddened, and he watched her disappear inside the house. He became more determined than ever to break her free of whatever was haunting her, he'd teach her and show her what a wonderful, beautiful woman she was. For the moment though, he focused back on the more immediate and tangible need of painting.

He tried in vain to get all the paint off of himself before he started working again. Catherine had gotten the paint off of her nose, save for one tiny dot. Ben watched her wordlessly, he saw her slender fingers touch her lips again, as though it had been the first time she'd been kissed.

Catherine tried to focus back on finishing the work, but she struggled with why she had pulled away from Ben. It was almost strange to her, his kiss, she had felt it with every nerve in her body. Mark's bruising kisses had never felt like that, the last few years of their marriage, physical contact of any kind had become non-existent.

The rest of the afternoon passed in almost complete silence. He stopped working several times, just to watch her. She had kept her boots off and continued the rest of the day barefoot. His eyes moved over every inch, the small feet, the curve of her calves. He wanted her against him, to love her and protect her from the memories that stood as a wall between them.

Ben took a step back from the house and smiled. He went to the front and looked that over thoroughly then went on the porch and got the picnic basket and blanket. Spreading out the blanket beneath an ancient shade tree, he retrieved the bottle of wine and opened it, pouring into two crystal wine glasses. Finding her at the back of the house, Ben handed her a wine glass. "For you."

"What's this?" She asked.

"Don't you see?" He grinned broadly, "we're done!"

"We're done?" Her green eyes grew wide.

"C'mon see for yourself." Ben took her hand and walked with her around the house, both admiring what a fresh coat of paint had done for the place. "A toast to your home." He raised his glass and clinked it with hers.

She took a small sip of the sweet red wine, "Oh that's nice, I haven't had wine in a long time."

"Let's eat, I'm starving!" He led her beneath the shade of the tree to the large spread of food laid out on the blanket.

"You didn't have to go to all this trouble!"

"I didn't." He chuckled lightly. "Actually we have Hop Sing to thank for this fine meal."

They sat down on the blanket together, enjoying the spread of smoked meats, cheeses and fresh bread. Ben poured her another glass of wine when they had finished eating.

Laying back on the blanket, she looked up at the sky and sighed contentedly. "I don't think I could ever get tired of looking at that big sky. It's so beautiful here."

Ben leaned over her slightly. "I certainly haven't gotten tired of this land. I think it's the most beautiful country in the world. And I think God, when he made this world, spent just a little extra time on Nevada."

Catherine was looking up at him in a curious manner.

"What is it?"

"You missed a spot." She'd found a large dot of dried paint on his ear and she reached up to gently rub away the paint.

He closed his eyes for a moment, she obviously had no idea of how her touch was affecting him. He took hold of her hand and pulled it away. "Don't." He growled softly. Looking down into her green eyes, he could see she didn't understand the effect she had on him. Ben leaned down to her, kissing her cheek. As he did though, she pulled away, rolling onto her side away from him and started to get up. Ben reached out quickly and took hold of the back of her forearms. "Don't Catherine. Don't run away again, please." Pulling her back slightly, he sat up on his knees, and kissed the back of her head, catching the faint scent of lavender in her hair.

He could hear her trying to choke back tears. "Listen, I know your husband treated you badly, tore you down. But he's gone now. Catherine, I'm here."

"Sometimes it's like he's still here. I can still hear his voice." She wasn't able to hold back the tears anymore. "Half a woman, ugly, stupid.."

His large hands moved to her shoulders, "look at me." Her head lowered, not wanting him to see her tears, she didn't move, he gently turned her around to face him. Her bare legs tucked beneath her, she kept her head lowered not wanting to look up into his soulful eyes. His hands cupped her face and drew her up to look at him. "Look at me Catherine." Her cheeks were wet with tears and his heart broke a little. "He was a fool Catherine, he was wrong, very wrong." She tried to move her head down again but he wouldn't let her, no more running away, he could feel he was reaching her. "Look at me and hear my voice, not his voice, mine. You are a beautiful woman, inside and out. Do you have any idea how much I look forward to even being near you?! Catherine, I'm falling in love with you. Do you hear me?"

She nodded, "Yes Ben, I hear you." She smiled weakly up at him through her tears.

Drawing her closer, his lips tenderly kissed away the tears on her cheeks. He watched her eyes close, his mouth moved to hers, softly at first. He felt her responding to his gentle kiss, her arms sliding across him to his back. He pressed his chest to hers, tightening his grasp as his desire for her increased and he tasted the sweet wine on her lips. Guiding her down onto the blanket, his chest on top of hers, he felt his heart pounding with hers and he moved to kiss her neck. "Catherine." His deep voice whispered breathlessly in her ear.

He didn't want to stop, but knew that he must. Ben rolled onto his back and drew her close, wrapping his arms around her and she laid her head in the crook of his shoulder, her hand on his bare chest. "My voice Catherine, that's the only voice you need to hear now, no more ghosts of the past." He said, kissing her forehead.

"No more ghosts Ben, just you."

Sunday mornings were a special time. Somehow, the boys always slept a little bit later and Ben could enjoy a rare few hours alone. He would make the first pot of coffee before the sun was up and pat down the tobacco in his pipe, to enjoy some time out on the veranda. It was some of his best thinking time, sitting outside and smoking his pipe, enjoying a piping hot cup of strong coffee. He'd lean back in one of the chairs, thinking about life and watch the sunrise.

This Sunday morning started off the same way, but as he sipped on his coffee and the first streaks of light came into view, the moment left him wanting. Wanting to share it and not be alone. "Catherine" he spoke under his breath. He wanted her there, to share in the glory of the sunrise, to hold her on his lap while they watched it together. For the first Sunday morning, in a very long time, he didn't want to be there alone anymore.

It had struck him like a bolt of lightning, he didn't need to be alone anymore. She was there and she had turned his life upside down. Ben wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, watch a thousand more sunrises with her in his arms, wake up next to her. He wasn't falling in love with her, he loved her and he was going to make her his wife.

Waking up to the sound of whistling, Adam and Hoss went downstairs for breakfast and witnessed their Pa whistling a cheery tune while he poured coffee for his sons.

"Good morning!" Their Pa greeted them enthusiastically.

Adam took a sideways glance at his younger brother as they hit the bottom landing of the stairs. "Oh, he has got it bad!" He said in a low tone.

"Got what bad?" Hoss asked.

"He's in love."

"Who? Pa?!" Hoss scratched his head, "that doctor teacher lady?"

"Uh-huh, the very same."

Hoss couldn't help a little grin. "Mornin' Pa, boy ya shore are chipper this mornin'!"

"Yes, chipper, that's the word Pa." Adam added in. "I take it that you and Mrs. Timmons had a nice day yesterday?"

"Why we did, thank you Adam. Her house is all painted." He couldn't stop smiling. But the right time, he needed to find the perfect time to ask her.

Adam cleared his throat, "umm, Pa, got some news yesterday, might ruin this good mood of yours."

His father sat down, "Oh? What's that Adam?"

"We heard back from Hank Jenkins, got a wire from him yesterday while you were out painting. He accepts your offer for his prized bull."

Ben broke into a wide grin. "That is excellent news Adam. Excellent!" He took a sip of coffee, thinking on how this bull could improve their stock. "Adam, why would that ruin my good mood?"

"Two reasons Pa," Adam spread his napkin in his lap and forked a ham steak to pile on his plate. "He wants the bull picked up this week and he'll only do business with you directly. Something about not dealing with underlings, as he so eloquently put it."

Damn, Ben muttered underneath his breath. "Hmmm, that does put a damper on things I had planned this week. A day and a half up there, two maybe three days back with that bull." He'd hoped to spend much of this week with Catherine and he certainly had many reasons he could come up with for his sons, her house did need more work done before winter arrived. He thought it out in his head, he could make good time and be back by Saturday.

"Mornin' Pa." Joe slid his chair back and sat down at the table. He plopped down his elbows to prop up his aching head.

"Late night Joseph?" His father asked.

"Yessir, a little maybe."

"Elbows Joseph." Ben said sternly.

"Yessir." He moved his elbows off the table and folded his arms. "Coffee?"

"So, if we leave Monday morning, we should be back by Friday night if we make good time. Joseph, you and I are going to pick up that bull from Jenkins. Just make sure ya see the doc today and have those stitches removed."

"Yessir." Joe replied meekly, he would take care of that as soon as the thundering hooves in his head went away.

"Back by Friday night?" Adam asked. "That's pushing it. You in a hurry to get back?"

"As a matter of fact, I am." Ben hesitated for a moment, feeling a good natured ribbing was in the works. "Say, are the Daggett's still having a barn dance this Saturday night?"

His sons exchanged quizzical looks with each other.

It was Hoss that spoke up. "Umm yeah Pa…why ya figurin' on going?"

"Sure, why not! It would be fun."

"Really Pa?" Joe had to ask, as far as he knew, Pa hadn't been to a barn dance since his mother died.

Ben rolled his eyes. "Yes, really! C'mon it hasn't been that long since I've been to a dance."

"Pa, it's been a long time. You figuring on asking anyone?" Adam asked but he already knew the answer, he wanted to hear it himself.

"Yes, if you must know, I plan on asking Catherine…Mrs. Timmons. As a matter of fact, I'm going to invite her to have dinner here with us before the dance and I want you all to be here and dressed appropriately." Ben eyed each of his sons and was relieved to find that they didn't argue with him. "I think it would be a good time for you to get better acquainted with her." He tossed his napkin on the table, "Now, I'll see you three later. I have a lady to ask to the dance. I assume you have enough to keep yourselves busy?"

"Yeah Pa, we do." Hoss replied.

They watched their Pa go up the stairs, taking them in twos and whistling as he went.

Joe lifted his head slowly. "Adam, that was our Pa, wasn't it?"

"Yep shore was," Hoss jumped in, "what's gotten into him?"

Adam leaned back in his chair, a small smile crept across his lips. "I was right, Pa's got it bad! I'd say things are pretty serious between him and Mrs. Timmons."

"What that doctor lady that stitched up my head?" Joe stared at his eldest brother with wide eyes.

"Yep," Adam nodded.

Hoss couldn't help himself, he hadn't seen Pa this happy in a very long time and Hoss smiled with his whole face. "Shore is good to see Pa so happy."

"Indeed it is." Adam agreed.

Ben returned to his room, checking himself in the mirror and tying on his green bandana. He had a challenge from Catherine to see through, he didn't have to do it today. But he wanted to see her, be near her. And there was the matter of telling her he'd be gone all week and the barn dance on Saturday. He could almost see her in his arms, spinning her around in a reel. After the dance, he thought, I'll ask her to marry me after the dance.

Ben dismounted from Buck as quietly as possible and went to Catherine's barn. Leaning against the door frame, he crossed his arms and smiled slightly as he watched her getting Belle ready for their morning ride. He couldn't help but enjoy the view as well, her riding clothes accentuated her small curves in all the right places and she had her long waves of auburn hair falling loose down her back. He listened as Catherine chatted happily to Belle and watched her slip a book inside one of the saddlebags. Apparently, she was going to do more than just go for a ride.

He admired Catherine's love for horses, especially her beloved Belle. A pure Hanoverian was a rare sight this far west, it was far different from the rolling hills of New England or the streets of New York City. But horse and rider seemed to be adapting perfectly to the new western landscape. Belle was black as night save for a white star and snip, a beautiful and fast horse, she'd be a good match for a race with his Buckskin.

Catherine finished fastening Belle's saddle and turned around, the sudden surprise of seeing Ben leaning up against the barn door made her jump. "Ben! You scared me half to death!"

Laughing, he strode over to her and took her in his arms. "I'm sorry. I was just enjoying watching you and Belle."

She gave his tan leather vest a small slap and he took her hand, bringing it to his lips and kissing her palm. "So, what brings you out here this morning Ben?"

"Well now, I do believe you challenged me yesterday, didn't you?"

"Challenged you?" Catherine looked up into dark mischievous eyes. "Why Ben, what on earth are you talking about?"

"Dontcha remember? Yesterday, you inferred that Belle could beat Buck in a race."

"Hmm, I did say that didn't I."

"Let's see what that Hanoverian has in her and her rider too." Ben tucked his finger beneath her chin and brushed his lips against hers. "You ready?"

Catherine shook her head, "Oh I don't know Ben, do you think Ol' Buck is up to the challenge?"

His eyebrows raised, "Hmmphhh! Ol' Buck? Did you say Ol' Buck? I'll show you a thing or two young lady! Mount up!" He went to give her a leg up onto Belle, but despite her small height, she swung up on Belle easily. "Hmmphh Ol' Buck indeed!"

Getting on Buck, he patted his horse's neck. "Dontcha pay any attention to her!"

Catherine pulled Belle up alongside Buck and she took a look at horse and rider. How tall and proud he sat in the saddle, his lean muscular frame paired with his sturdy Buckskin horse. Ben took her breath away and it was like nothing she'd experienced before.

"Catherine?" He had caught her staring again and a smile crept over his lips.

"Yes? Umm, where are we racing to?" She felt her cheeks flushing again and looked away.

Ben pointed to the north, "see the hill there, up on the other side there's a large rock and a small lake called The Lake of Tears."

"Oh, I've been riding by there, it's beautiful. So, first one to the rock?" She was filled with excitement, not having raced anyone since she was a child. But she was confident in Belle and more than that, it was the excitement of racing with Ben.

He nodded with a smile. "First one to the rock." Ben leaned over on Buck and planted a kiss on Catherine's cheek. "GO!"

Ben spurred on Buck and they both took off towards the hill. Catherine's horse was fast, built for speed, but much better suited for well made trails or roads, she took the lead and looked back at him. He caught her expression and saw how much she was enjoying this, almost as much as he was.

They rounded the corner of the road and went off it into the grass and toward the hill. "C'mon Buck." He knew he would overtake her on the hill and he did, Buck was built for the west and the hills and mountains. He passed her easily when they reached a steep grade up the side of the hill. With the race up the hill conquered, he started downwards and towards the level field that would take them to gray rock and the Lake of Tears. Catherine and Belle were soon beside him and they exchanged a glance at one another. The relatively level field was Belle's delight and the young horse shot forward ahead of Buck.

Halfway across the field, Buck began to gain on Belle and Ben pulled back slightly on the reins. Catherine pulled Belle to a halt at the gray rock, laughing and out of breath. Ben pulled up beside her, smiling and dismounted.

"Well, looks like you got me on that one!" He went to her horse and this time, Catherine accepted his help as he put his hands on her waist and lifted her off Belle easily. She was breathing heavily, her green eyes sparkling with delight. He took one hand off her waist to toss his hat to the ground and pulled her against him hard, plunging his mouth onto hers. His arms held her tight, dipping her slightly while his mouth explored hers hungrily. It took every ounce of control for him to stop and end the kiss, if he didn't now he knew he would lay her down and make love to her there by the lake. But, he wanted to do everything right, and they had a lifetime ahead of them, he'd wait till their wedding night. Ben held her tight and rubbed her back. Her breathing and heartbeat were hard against his chest. A cool breeze sweeping across the lake did little to calm the fire in his veins, but he let her pull away so she could take in the beauty of the lake around them.

"It's so beautiful here." She was still nearly breathless, the power of him had enveloped and overwhelmed her and awoke every nerve ending.

"Yes it is. Let me show you." He took her hand and led her closer to the lake's edge. Fed by narrow stream that came down from the mountain, it was a crystal clean azure color and with it being shaded by tall pines and giant sequoias it was always a cool temperature in the water and a spot where he used to swim during the summer, many years ago. The peacefulness of the lake struck her and she could imagine him being here often.

"Why do they call it the Lake of Tears?" She asked.

Ben pointed towards a tall mountain peak. "See that mountain over there? The Bannocks believe that God lives on top of that mountain. And they believe that when God created this land, it was so beautiful that he wept tears of joy and those tears created that stream that came down and fed this lake."

"That's a lovely story, like poetry." She leaned against his arm, looking up at him and he put his arm around her.

"Oh you like poetry?"

"I do, as a matter of fact, I brought a book of poetry with me in my saddle bag. I was planning on reviewing some poems that I thought I could read to the children, some of the older children."

"That's a wonderful idea! Wonderful. Many times I've thought that the teachers here needed to go beyond just the basics, expand their minds beyond what's traditionally taught. Adam, he ended up going on to college, largely because the boys hand an excellent teacher when they were young. A teacher like you, that was willing to put in the extra effort with the children."

"You told me how he studied architecture and built that wonderful grist mill at the river."

The memories that surrounded the grist mill were ones he didn't want to bring up. "Yes well, why don't we look over that poetry book like you wanted to do today. Saddlebag?"

"Yes…" she started towards her horse, but he stopped her.

"You stay right here, I'll get it." He went to her horse and stopped for a moment at a grassy patch and large tree. Picnics, a very long time ago, filled his mind. Young Adam, with his father's help, teaching Hoss how to fish for the first time and Marie cradling their newborn son in her arms; it seemed so very long ago.

"Ben?" Catherine's voice drew him back.

"Sorry. One moment." He retrieved the leather bound book from her saddle bag and brought it to her, sitting down on the grass.

"Ben, you looked like you were a thousand miles away." She sat down beside him, leaning back against the tree. "Is something wrong?"

"No, of course not. Everything's perfect." He paused for a moment thoughtfully, "actually I suppose I was thinking about the last time I was here. It was with the boys and Marie."

"Joe's Mother?" She asked.

"Yes," Ben looked out over the lake, taking her hand. "A very long time ago, we'd come here for picnics, when Joe was just a tadpole. See that patch of rocks over there in the water? That's where Hoss caught his very first fish."

She thought on his words briefly, "maybe we shouldn't have come here. Is it right for me to be here with you?"

Ben reached over and stroked her cheek with his thumb. "It's all the way right Catherine, I want to be here with you." He tapped the book in her lap, "so what are some of your favorite poems?" Stretching out his long legs, he laid back and put his head in her lap and folded his hands across his chest, gazing up at her.

"Comfortable?" She chuckled lightly.

"Very." Ben replied, "read me one of your favorites."

"All right then." She flipped through the pages and finding one that was interesting, she began to read to him. Without a thought, her fingers went to his head and stroked his silver hair as she read to him.

New memories. The thought of it filled his soul, the new memories that he and Catherine were creating. The ones today, the memories yet to be made, a lifetime of them awaited.

"What did you think Ben?"

"Hmm?" He opened up his eyes to look at her gazing down at him, her fingers had stopped stroking his hair. "Lovely, just lovely."

"Lovely?" Catherine pursed her lips, "Ben it was a poem about gunfighters. One that I thought the boys might connect with. You didn't hear a word I said." Her voice softened considerably, "lost in memories?"

"No," He sat up, "no actually I was thinking about new memories."

"New memories?"

"The ones you and are making together, Catherine, a lifetime of them."

His words struck her and she bit her lower lip, not knowing what to say but knowing that she loved him with all her heart. His beautiful chocolate eyes bore right into her soul and she felt he knew exactly what was in her thoughts. Suddenly, she found the words on her tongue and it was easy to let them out. "I love you Ben." His kiss was so tender, she wanted it to last forever, to never let this day end.

When the kiss ended, Ben took hold of both her hands. "Catherine, there was another reason I came to your place today. I have to go out of town for the week, there's a bull we want to add to the herd and the owner will only do business with me. The timing is horrible, I know that, but I'll be back by Saturday." He could see a small measure of disappointment on her face and he felt the same way, it would be hard to be away from her, even for only a week. "But, I was wondering, Saturday night there's a barn dance. Would you do me the honor of allowing me to escort you to the dance?"

"A barn dance?" Her eyes lit up. "I haven't been to one of those since I was a girl. I would love to go with you."

"Good, I'll come by around five. I'd like you to have dinner at my home first. It'll give you a chance to get to know my sons better."

"That'll be fine." She replied, but she was already beginning to feel the first twinge of nerves. Dinner with Ben and all three of his sons.

"Good, that's settled then." He took the book of poetry from Catherine's lap and opened it. "My turn, what shall I read to you?" Ben's arm went around her and she leaned up against him, resting her head against his chest.

"You pick, you could read anything to me, I love the sound of your voice."

"You do?" He placed a kiss on her forehead.

"Mmm hmmm like a big papa grizzly bear."

"Grizzly bear?" He squeezed her waist slightly. "Grrrrrr!" He found a poem in the book he liked and started reading.

"The fountains mingle with the river,

And the rivers with the ocean;

The winds of heaven mix forever,

With a sweet emotion;

Nothing in the world is single;

All things by a law divine

In one another's being mingle;-

Why not I with thine?"

Ben set off with his youngest son, before sunrise, their bedrolls attached to their saddles and saddlebags filled with the necessities they would need for their trip. Had it been any other time, the trip to Sparks would have been looked forward to, but even as they headed out for the trip he was already thinking on coming back home. He shook his head slightly, yes indeed she had turned his life upside down and he wouldn't have it any other way. It had been many years since he had a woman he loved waiting for him to return from a trip, he liked having that feeling again, knowing she'd be there when he got back. And soon, very soon, when he traveled again, she'd be waiting for him at the Ponderosa.

The prized bull they were setting off to purchase came from a bloodline known for its endurance in both heat and bitter cold, a strong line. Ben had high hopes that adding the bull to their bloodline would increase future generation's hardiness to the harsh winters, when the wind and snow would come down from the mountains and could make a man homebound for days on end. Winterkill, they called it, when whole herds could be lost in the bitterness of winter storms.

Joe buttoned up his jacket as they headed out, there was an autumn chill in the air and they both felt it as they took the road north towards Sparks. He was looking forward to this trip with his Pa, it had been some time since the two had traveled together. And he had to admit, he was curious about Pa and Mrs. Timmons, the lady that had stitched up his head after the accident at the lumber camp. His memory of that night was a little fuzzy but Adam had reminded him, that while under the effects of the laudanum, he had called her pretty about a half dozen times. His older brother was sure that Pa was serious about her and had joked that he better get his best clothes ready for a wedding. The thought of his Pa being serious about her was driven home even more when he heard Pa ask Hoss and Adam to look in on Mrs. Timmons while he was gone.

The wind gusted while she drove the buggy to school and she pulled her shawl tighter across her shoulders, wishing she had grabbed her coat instead. She heard Ben's words from last night as he described to her how beautiful autumn was in the Nevada territory, the leaves and crispness of the air. He made it sound so stunning, she could listen to him all night and last night, she nearly had. They had lost of track of time, how easy it was to talk with him and listen to his stories. Even the silences were comfortable and warm with him.

Arriving at the schoolhouse, she spied a small white bag tied to her door again. "Ben." She smiled to herself and wondered how he had found the time to leave her another little present before he left, he must not have slept at all. She wouldn't take the chance of making the same mistake this time, dropping his note at someone's feet again and the Irving's causing so much trouble, so this time she took the bag inside with her and closed the door before she opened it. Anxious to see what he had left, she untied it quickly and gasped when she opened it, the surprise fell to the floor, a curled up dead rat. Her breath caught in her throat, unable to take her eyes off the decomposing vermin. "Who..?" She forced herself to gather her thoughts, the children would be arriving soon. Using the white bag to cover her hand, she quickly disposed of it in the woods behind the school and tried to put on a calm façade, but her hands trembled.

"The school bell." It was time to ring it and she went back out front. Danny Irving was waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs.

"Good morning Catherine, fine day ain't it?" He leaned against the railing, leering up at her.

"Danny." She acknowledged him coldly.

"Saw the ol' man and Joe heading up the north road this morning. Looks like they're going on a little trip." He took a step up closer to her.

Her heart quickened, the way he looked at her sent a chill through her body and her hands started to tremble again. "Ben…Mr. Cartwright will be back soon." She was determined though to not let him see that he frightened her.

"Sure he will Catherine." He closed the gap between them, standing so close she felt his hot breath on her face. "You know you need someone younger, dontcha? Someone that can handle a woman like you, not some old man."

"Danny, the children are coming. Please, go away!"

"He left ya all alone and went away." Danny put his hand on her shoulder, she tried to brush it off but he had a grip on her. "Ya know what they say, while the cat's away the rat will play."

Her mouth dropped open. "You did that, the rat?! Why?!"

Two of the children came bounding up the steps, oblivious to what was going on. "Mornin' Mrs. Timmons!"

Danny released his hold on her and went back down the steps. "You have a real nice day now Catherine. I'll be seeing you soon."

"Mrs. Timmons? Mrs. Timmons?" 12 year old John tapped on her arm. "Everything okay?"

"Yes, John, everything's fine. Go take your seat." With trembling hands she closed the door of the schoolhouse. "Okay children, let's get started."

On Wednesday morning, Ben and Joe were ready to begin the trip home. Their brand new breeding bull, King Samuel, was in tow. Ben had made a stop in town first, before they started the trip home and although Joe hadn't said anything, he'd seen his Pa fiddling with a small blue box that looked like something that had come from a jeweler's store. Just the right sized box for a ring.

With King Samuel tethered tightly with a thick rope around Joe's saddle horn. They started the slow trip back home.

"Pa, I sure never saw a bull this big before! You?"

"Nope, sure haven't Joe. He's gonna be a fine addition to the herd. Think about it, in a few years he'll improve the bloodline so much that will almost be rid of winterkill completely!" Ben spurred Buck on. "C'mon son, day's a wasting!" Catherine was on his mind, that and the small box he carried in his pocket. It had been harder than he thought to find what he was looking for but now that he had it, he couldn't wait to slip it on her finger.

"Pa, King Samuel's not exactly a runner!" Joe laughed lightly. "You're sure in a hurry to get home."

"Yes, yes I sure am." Ben smiled wistfully at the thought of her. "One day you'll understand about when a man wants to work a little harder and faster to get back home."

"You mean a man wanting to get back home to a pretty girl that's waiting on him, dontcha Pa?" Joe smirked at his father, he liked seeing his Pa like this.

"Or back home to a beautiful woman." His mind's eye went to the Ponderosa and the large stone fireplace. Catherine would be seated by the fireplace, waiting for him. Her warm kiss and slender arms welcoming him back home. A very feminine woman in what had been a very manly home. "You know Joe, it's been a long time. I mean, well, the four of us together with no woman in the house. We have a very masculine home."

"Yeah Pa, that's true, it's a masculine place." Joe couldn't stop smirking at all of it. He'd not seen his father like this before. "But ya know, maybe it's 'bout time we had a woman's touch on the Ponderosa. Dontcha think Pa?"

"Well, by gosh, you're right Joe. The Ponderosa could use a woman's touch!"

Joe's high pitched laughter echoed across the trail and didn't stop.

"Jumpin' Jehoshaphat Joseph! They can hear you laughin' clear to Virginia City! Now would you tell me what's so dang funny!"

"I'm sorry Pa." He did his best to stifle his laughter. "Just never seen you like this over a woman before!"

Ben became thoughtful, "oh I think you did, many many years ago. You were just too young to remember."

"My Mother?" His laughter stopped completely.

"Uh-huh. I thought my life was pretty well complete back then too. I had Adam and Hoss, I had the Ponderosa and it was growing and getting more successful every year. That all changed the day I met your Mother. She turned my world upside down, made me see how much more there could be to life again; love and affection, having a woman by your side."

"And this Mrs. Timmons, she kinda has done the same thing for you?"

"I think she has. She has turned my world upside down too. Just like your mother did, oh so many years ago."

"So what are you gonna do about it Pa?"

Ben thought for a moment, but just as he had decided to open up with Adam, perhaps Joe was ready as well. He was a young man now, perhaps not as mature as Adam, but a young man. Ben pulled the small blue box from his pocket and handed it over to Joe as they rode. "It's for Catherine, Mrs. Timmons."

Joe grinned, surprised that his Pa was showing this to him. He opened the box and his mouth dropped open. "Hot diggity, you're gonna ask her to marry you! This is an engagement ring, ain't it?"

"Isn't it? And yes Joe, it is an engagement ring."

"Why this color though, thought rubies and sapphires were all the rage right now, seems kinda plain."

"Gimme that!" Ben grabbed the box back from him and closed it tight. "It happens to match her eyes."

"Guess Adam was right, do need to get my best suit ready for a wedding!" Joe started in laughing again.

"Is that what your brother told you?"

"Yep, you know….Catherine Cartwright…kinda like the sound of that Pa."

Slowly, a smile spread across his face. "Catherine Cartwright. Mrs. Cartwright. Catherine Cartwright. Ya know, I kinda like the sound of it too."

Sherriff Coffee knocked on the school house door early in the morning. Mrs. Timmons had gone to see him on Monday after school and he needed to speak with her about what Danny Irving had said when he'd gone to talk to him. "Good morning, Mrs. Timmons. May I come in?"

She was seated at her desk in front of the school. "Of course Sheriff. Please, would you like to sit down?"

With little furniture to choose from, other than children's school desks, Roy opted to lean against her desk and took off his hat.

"Did you find out anything Sherriff?"

Roy turned and looked at her, having a pretty good idea of what she meant to his old friend. "Ma'am, I talked to Danny and he says he don't know what you're talking 'bout. He says all he did was come by and say good mornin' to ya."

"Sherriff that's not true! He left that vile thing at my door, I know he did." Her voice raised, her pulse raced.

"Now umm, Mrs. Timmons. Look, I know that you and Ben Cartwright been spending some time together. Ben's an old friend of mine. But ya gotta know that Danny Irving's been saying some stuff."

Nodding her head, she replied, "Yes I know sherriff, I heard about what happened in the bar. You were there too, weren't you?"

"Yes ma'am I was. And iffen Ben and Paul Martin believe their ain't anything goin' on between you and Danny, well then guess that's what I believe too. But ya gotta understand, that's me talking as a friend of Ben's, not as the sherriff."

"I understand that."

"No…no don't think you rightly do, ma'am. Danny's talking wasn't just at the Bucket of Blood. He's been talking lots. He's been saying you two been spending lots of time together…lots of time late at night. Ma'am I don't like tellin' ya this stuff at'all but ya gotta know. He swears that you and he spent Sunday night together, all night, in your bed.

"No!" She nearly jumped out of her chair. "That's not true Sherriff. Ben and I were together Sunday night till after midnight. I haven't been with Danny Irving and I never will be!" She wanted to scream from the top of her lungs.

"Ya could consider suing him for defamation of character or slander ma'am." Roy stood up and went towards the door. "But the fact of the matter is, this ain't something for me ta get involved with. Not yet anyways. Maybe you should get a lawyer." Roy heaved a heavy sigh and threw his hands up in the air. He believed her about Danny Irving, there'd been something wrong with that boy since day one, but a gut feeling wasn't proof and it wasn't the law. "I'm sorry Mrs. Timmons."

"Yes, thank you sherriff." As he closed the door, she closed her eyes and leaned against the blackboard, feeling very much alone. "Ben."

Adam and Hoss finished loading the rest of the supplies that Hop Sing had ordered and were ready to head to the Bucket of Blood for a beer when Hoss spotted Mrs. Timmons walking down the street in their direction.

"Hey Adam, that's Mrs. Timmons. Dadburn it, we was s'posed ta look in on her while Pa was gone!"

Adam looked down to the far end of the street. "Well it's not too late to do that, let's go say hello." Adam started down the street, with Hoss trailing behind him, when he saw something he didn't like. "Irving." He cussed under his breath. Danny Irving was coming right up behind her.

"I see trouble comin'" Hoss scowled. "He lays just one finger on her and he's gonna get a fist right in the kisser."

Danny stepped up his pace and swung in front of her, stopping her in her tracks. "Afternoon Catherine! You look mighty fine in that dress, mighty fine."

"Danny, get away from me." Catherine felt her hands begin to tremble and she drew her books tighter to her chest, a few books between her and the man that scared her half to death.

"Now c'mon ya know your sweet on me. Jest wanna tell ya I'm looking forward to the barn dance with ya on Saturday." Danny's breath smelled of whiskey and bad cigars, it churned her stomach.

"Barn dance?! I already have an escort for the dance, and it's not you. Please let me by!"

"Oh, you gonna dance with me Saturday. You gonna find out what its like to have a real man against ya, not some half dead ol' man." Danny grabbed her waist hard, pulling her to him and ground his hips against hers. "The things I'll do to ya, you'll forget that ol' man's alive."

"Let me go!" With all her might, she dropped her books and slapped him across the face hard. A very large strong hand took hold of Danny's shoulder and yanked him back. Danny's jaw made contact with Hoss's fist and he went reeling backwards to the ground.

"The lady done told ya to let her go Danny!" Hoss loomed over Danny, ready for a fight if it was needed.

"I was just asking Catherine to the dance, is all!" Danny hissed back.

"Our Pa is taking Mrs. Timmons to the dance. Now, you want to go a round with me too?" Adam clenched his fists, every muscle in his body taut and ready. Hoss instinctively put himself between Danny and Mrs. Timmons.

"Darn shame!" Danny stood back up, staring at Catherine. "Pretty woman like that wasted on an old man. I bet he's too old to pleasure you!"

Cringing at his words, she took a step closer to Hoss.

"That's it." Adam's clenched fist struck Danny in the chest and threw him, winded, back to the ground.

Hearing the commotion outside, Roy emerged from his office with Paul Martin. "What's goin' on here?" He asked upon seeing Danny on the ground, breathing heavily.

"What we have here Roy, I think is a very clear case of public drunkenness!" Adam pointed at Danny.

"Is that so?!" Roy didn't have to get very close to smell the whiskey, he reeked of it. "Get up Danny!" He grasped Danny by the back of his collar and hauled him to his feet.

"I wasn't doin' nothing. You're just jealous!"

"Catherine, are you alright?" Paul Martin asked. "I could get you something to calm your nerves, if you'd like."

"No I'm fine Paul, thank you though." She hid her hands from view, trying to quell the trembling.

"Well now Danny m'boy, I believe a night or two in a jail cell just might sober you up and cool you down! C'mon!" The much older sheriff had no trouble with starting to drag Danny away.

"See ya Saturday night Catherine!"

The shiver that went up her spine was visible as she tried to shake it off. Hoss put a comforting arm around her shoulders and noticed for the first time how small in frame she was, somehow when she'd been doctoring all those men at the lumber camp, she'd seemed much bigger, working as hard as she did.

"Mrs. Timmons, are you alright?" Adam asked gently.

"I'm okay Adam, thank you." She did her best to give him a smile, but it was a weak one.

"No she ain't okay." Hoss jumped in. "Adam poor thing's shaking like a leaf!" Catherine glanced up at the very large man, Ben's middle son and she wasn't sure if she should be mad or thank him for saying that.

"Sorry Mrs. Timmons, but ya got a right to be upset after how Danny done acted."

After a bit of arguing, her trying to convince the brothers she was alright and losing to them both. Hoss and Adam retrieved Catherine's carriage and escorted her back to her home. Hoss rode in the carriage with her, driving it for her and Adam came along in the buckboard. "Dontcha worry none Mrs. Timmons, we done told Pa we'd look in on his girl and we're doin' jest that."

A small smile came to her face, "his girl?"

"Yes'm. We promised. Now there see, there's a smile!"

Inside her house, Adam tossed his hat on a chair. "Do you have any sherry or brandy?"

Catherine tilted her head at him and raised her eyebrows.

"It's ummm..not for me. I thought it might calm your nerves a bit."

"Oh sorry, it's over there in the corner cabinet, on the bottom shelf. Its brandy, boys please pour yourselves a little too." Catherine sat down on a parlor chair, while Hoss and Adam took a seat on the settee. "Thank you." She said softly as Adam handed her a small glass of brandy. The warm liquid did much to calm her nerves and her hands finally stopped with their trembling.

"No wonder your hands were shaking today Mrs. Timmons. I'm sorry Danny's behaving this way towards you." Adam's sincere voice and dark eyes, gave her pause, so like his father.

"Actually, I think my hands have been trembling like this since Monday." She leaned back in the chair and tried to close her eyes for a moment.

"Monday, 'scuse ma'am but why since Monday?"

"That was my first encounter this week with Danny Irving."

Adam and Hoss leaned forward, exchanging a worried look with eachother.

"What happened Monday?" Adam asked.

Catherine recounted Monday's events to them, from the dead rat to Danny's conversation with her. "When the cat's away the rat will play." The way he had said it, the way he had looked at her, remained etched in her mind. She finished with telling them about her conversation with Roy Coffee, how she understood that his hands were tied but so wished that he could do more. "I guess that since Danny saw Ben…your Pa and Joe leave, maybe that's made things worse."

"Danny figures wrong if he think there ain't no one gonna protect ya. Didn't he Adam?"

"Dead wrong." Adam stood and put his black Stetson on. "Hoss you stay here with Mrs. Timmons until I get back."

"Adam, where are you going?" Catherine asked.

"Danny and I are going to have a little talk while he's sitting and stewing in Roy's cell."

"Bout what?" Hoss was more than a little curious.

"Dead rat you said. Yeah….Danny and I are going to have a chat about Lil' Joe's rabbit."

"But Adam, Joe don't have a rabbit."

"He did, when he was a young'un. Remember?"

"Yeah, but…"

"Stay here Hoss, I'll be back soon. Don't worry, Mrs. Timmons, I'll get this all worked out."

"A rabbit?" Catherine turned and looked at Hoss. "I don't understand."

"Not sure I do either ma'am. Lil' Joe did have one of those cute little rabbits as a pet when he was jest a tadpole. Had it after his Ma died, I think." Hoss scratched his head. "Poor kid cried for days when it died. But why's Adam gonna talk to Danny about it? Jest don't make sense."

"It obviously makes sense to your brother." Catherine paused for a moment, "Hoss, listen, you don't have to stay here with me. I'm fine now, I'm sorry I was such a bother."

"Aww ma'am ya weren't a bother at all. 'Sides I, well Adam and me, we promised to look in on ya and that's jest what we're doing. Don' mind telling ya Mrs. Timmons, Pa's real sweet on you."

"Thank you Hoss, I'm real sweet on him too." The words came out so easily, but she wondered if it was something she should say to Ben's son. "Well if you're bound and determined to stay until Adam gets back. How about I go make us some coffee?"

Coffee sounds real nice Mrs. Timmons thank you." While she went to the kitchen, Hoss got up and stretched his legs, not one to sit around much. He scanned the room, taking in his surroundings. It was simple not overly fancy and she sure had lots of books, but he supposed a good teacher would have lots of books. Stepping over to one of the smaller bookshelves, he looked at the line of framed photographs. One in particular, caught his attention and he picked it up to get a better look. A young woman, probably close to his age he thought, stared back at him with big dark eyes and lots of dark hair pulled back with a bow. She looked to be tall and she had beautiful lush curves, curves that could set a man's mind to wandering. Hoss was curious who she was, didn't look anything like Mrs. Timmons. Now Mrs. Timmons was an attractive woman, but too petite and slender for his tastes. But this one, this stranger in the photograph, she was beautiful.

"That's Millie." Catherine set the coffee service down on the table. "My dearest friend."

"Shore is pretty." Hoss said, still looking at the photograph.

"Yes, she is. She's about your age Hoss. Quite a bit younger than me, but we became fast friends."

"How'd ya meet her? Iffen ya don't mind my askin'."

"Oh not at all. She was going to marry my baby brother." Catherine picked up a photograph of a slender young man that looked very much like her. "That's Andy. He…he died a few weeks before they were supposed to get married. There was an infection in his lungs, Andy well, he was always a little weak and he'd have problems with his lungs a lot. He was so stubborn though and so wrapped up in getting married to Millie, he didn't come to see me until it was too late."

"I'm sorry for your loss Mrs. Timmons."

"Oh thank you Hoss." Seeing that Hoss was still taking a gander at Millie's picture, she decided to say more about her. "Millie's still in New York, but I keep sending her letters and trying to get her to come out for at least a visit. Though, I'd be quite happy if she decided to move out here for good. I think she'd love it here too ." Catherine smiled whimsically and sat down to pour them both a cup of coffee. "You know Hoss, she has the most wonderful laugh, no matter how bad things may seem, if you hear her laughter, you can't help but laugh too." Catherine watched Hoss look at the photo one more time before putting it down and coming to join her for coffee. I'm going to have to send another letter to Millie, she would love it here, she smiled and passed a cup of coffee to Hoss. Just love it.

Adam opened the door to Roy's jail and went inside. "Roy I need to talk to Danny and I think you're going to want to be there for our little conversation."

"What's going on Adam?" Roy got up and got his keys to the cell door.

"Just let me have a talk with him and you'll find out."

Roy reluctantly agreed, he didn't want any more trouble, seemed like trouble was already brewing between the Irvings and Cartwrights.

Danny was laying on the narrow cot, with his arm draped across his face.

"Danny, I want to talk to you."

"Got nothin' to say to ya Cartwright!"

"Alright then, just listen for a spell and I'll bet you have something to say real soon."

Danny sat up on the cot, the room was spinning, but he focused himself on Adam. "Yeah, figured ya was gonna talk anyways. Seems you Cartwrights never know when to shut up!"

"You know, I was talking with Mrs. Timmons and it got me to thinking about Lil' Joe's rabbit, the one he had when we were all just kids. Joe was just a pup back then. Then, as I was riding over here, I got plum struck by another thought. And you know what that thought was Danny?"

"No, but you're gonna tell me."

"Sally Ann's pony. Do you remember that cute little pony she had Danny?"

"What are you talking about?!" Danny got up from the cot and started pacing the small cell.

Roy was listening intently as well, trying to remember about Lil' Joe having a rabbit. But he didn't have any trouble remembering Little Sally Ann's pony and how much she loved him. And how what had happened to it was so senseless and cruel, a truly vile act.

"You know what I'm talking about Danny. Joe's rabbit. You remember. You and Joe got in some kind of a stupid kid's fight after school and even though Joe was younger and much smaller than you, he sure did give you a whooping! The next day, Lil Joe's rabbit was dead. I remember hearing Pa late at night saying that the poor creature had been poisoned, rat poison in his feed. Joe cried for days."

Danny continued pacing the floor. "What's your point Adam?!" He was growing increasingly agitated.

Adam took hold of the cell bars, his voice growing in intensity. "Sally Ann and that beautiful little pony she had and loved so dearly. I was sweet on Sally Ann back then, and as I recall, so were you. But you, there was something about you that scared her. Women always did have a better intuitive sense then we men do. But I digress, we both asked her to the barn dance. And she decided to go with me, so I got to take Sally Ann to my very first dance and I'll never forget it." Adam grinned at Danny through the bars. "Two days later though, her pony was dead, mutilated. And you know what else I remembered? One week after that, your Pa shipped you off to a school in Philadelphia. Quite the coincidence, isn't it?"

"I didn't have nothing to do with that! Sides she was stupid, she coulda been with me and she went with you instead to the dance!" Danny spat back at Adam.

"And there were other animals too, weren't there Danny."

"Ya can't prove none of it! None of it!" Enraged, Danny flew forward and grabbed Adam's collar, smacking Adam's face against the cell bars. "None of it!"

Adam plied Danny's hands off of his shirt and rubbed his head.

"Ya just got another two days here in jail Danny!" Roy turned to take a look at Adam's head. A small trickle of blood from a cut on his forehead, trailed down the side of his face. "Ya all right Adam?"

"Yeah, fortunately hard heads run in my family." Adam turned his attentions to Danny, who was now sitting in the corner of the jail cell. "You listen to me Danny and you listen good." Adam pointed his finger at him and gritted his teeth. "You stay away from Mrs. Timmons. She's not interested in you, she and my father care a great deal about each other. You don't talk to her, you don't talk about her and you don't even look at her anymore. You understand?! If you so much as cast a glance towards her, you won't have just my Pa to answer to, but you'll have his sons too!"

"Alright!" Danny shouted. "If she's stupid enough to want an ol' man over me well then she can have him, that's her problem!"

"Good Danny, as long as we understand each other."

Roy followed Adam out of the cell area and closed the door behind him. Adam looked at Roy, "getting the picture?"

"Sounds like this one likes to cut up animals, sick real sick! But we still don't have one lick of proof." Roy thought for a moment. "I wonder if anything happened while Danny was in Philadelphia."

"That's just what I was thinking Roy. And now that he's got a few extra days to cool off in that cell, might be a good time to wire the police department back there."

"A few extra days, yep, that'll put him in that cell till the end of the weekend. He won't be going to no barn dance now!"

Adam grinned slightly to himself, "nope he sure won't."

Roy caught the grin on Adam's face. "Now Adam, you didn't let him do that on purpose, did ya?"

"Who me?" Adam put his black Stetson back on and left the jail. On the way back to Mrs. Timmons house, his head began to pound. Not one of your brighter ideas, he thought, but it had worked. Hoss had been keeping an eye out and he spotted the line of blood on Adam's face when he dismounted.

Hoss threw open the front door and went to him. "Adam! What happened?"

"My head got in the way, that's all."

"Adam come sit down on the chair here, I need to take a look at that." Catherine told him.

"I'm fine Mrs. Timmons, no need to fuss."

"Adam, you're starting to swell around your eye. Now, please let me take a look at that."

"No really not…"

Catherine crossed her arms across her chest, "Adam, SIT DOWN!"

"Yes'm." He replied meekly and sat down in the chair. He cast an upwards glance towards his younger brother and Hoss chuckled. The woman could be a little firecracker when she wanted to be.

"Hoss, there's a wash basin in the kitchen, would you put some fresh water in there and bring me a clean cloth or towel please." Catherine got down on her knees beside the chair to get a better look. "Doesn't look too deep, but I'll know better when it's cleaned up. You boys sure seem to know how to get your heads hurt." She said, thinking of the injury Joseph had taken to his head not long ago.

"Runs in the family." Adam grinned.

Hoss brought over the wash basin filled with water and a clean towel. "What happened at the jail Adam?"

Adam looked down at Mrs. Timmons and put his hand on her wrist. "I don't think you'll have to worry about Danny bothering you again ma'am. He knows now that if he ever comes near you again, he'll have to deal with Pa and me and my brothers. That's something he doesn't want to have to face. He won't bother you again."

She tilted her head slightly. "Thank you Adam. Thank you both. I can see why Ben, your Pa, is so very proud of all of you."

"Aww thank ya ma'am." Hoss grinned and lowered his head. "And umm ma'am if ya don't mind me saying so, think both me and my brother here can see why Pa's so sweet on ya."

"Thank you." She turned her attention back to Adam's wound. "Well you don't need stitches, but I'd say you're going to have one heck of a shiner."

"Oh, one thing I forgot to mention, Danny's little attack got him a few extra days at Roy's place. He'll still be in jail Saturday night, you won't have to worry at all about him showing up at the barn dance, Mrs. Timmons."

Catherine's face brightened considerably.

"Much obliged for your tending to me. Umm…can I get up now?" He wasn't about to have her ire stirred at him again. Like Hoss said, he could see now what had brightened his Pa's life and he was grateful for what she'd done for his father. "We should be on our way. But one more thing Mrs. Timmons," Adam went outside for a moment and came back in with his rifle. "I want you to have this. You live alone and as beautiful as this country is, it can also be dangerous. Best for you to have some protection." Danny had said to Adam that he would leave Mrs. Timmons alone, but Adam still decided to air on the side of caution. "If you don't know how to use it, Pa will teach you when he gets back." And that would be long before Danny got out of jail, he thought.

Catherine took the rifle from him and laid it against the wall in the hallway. "I'll have to ask your father, I've never shot a gun before."

"We best be on our way now Mrs. Timmons."

Catherine smiled warmly at both of them, so grateful that they had been there for her earlier. "You know boys, this ma'am and Mrs. Timmons, it just doesn't work for me. Doesn't sound right. My younger brother and my friend Millie, they both called me Cat. Do you think you might call me that instead of ma'am?"

"Shore does ma'…Cat…I like it!"

Catherine stood on her toes and gave Hoss a kiss on the cheek.

"Hey don't I get one?" Adam grinned.

"Of course you do!" Catherine chuckled and placed a quick buss on Adam's cheek. "Thank you both so much."

"Shucks, wasn't nothing." Hoss was blushing from her quick kiss on his cheek. "Cat, if ya need anything, anything at all. You just ask."

Hoss and Adam got up on the buckboard and she watched them ride off. As she did, she overheard Hoss asking about Joe's rabbit.

He pulled up the collar of his coat to fend off the evening chill. The last day of the ride home always seemed the longest and with King Samuel in tow, it had been a very slow moving and arduous day. He'd normally be most looking forward to a warm bath, a shave and the comfort of his large bed, but his mind was set upon a smile that could warm the cockles of the coldest of hearts, soft auburn hair that felt like silk in his fingers and green eyes that sparkled when she laughed. They were approaching a turn in the road, one would take him home to the Ponderosa and the other, into her arms. Rubbing his face, he felt the coarseness of two days growth of beard and after days of riding, he was very much aware that he was in need of a bath. It never took long for trail dust to settle onto the skin and he figured he had several days of it on him.

His youngest son, couldn't help but laugh, his Pa kept eyeing the turn in the road as they approached it under the night sky. "Pa, go stop over and see her. I can handle getting King Samuel to the ranch and settled in, don't worry about that."

"I know you can Joseph. But, she's probably sleeping by now. Gettin' kinda late and cold!" Ben stopped Buck at the turn, looking down the road that would take him to Catherine.

"Pa, you've been thinkin' about her all week. Just ride by and see if she has any lights on. It's not that late, she might still be up."

He rubbed his scruffy chin, not exactly kissing and hugging material, he thought to himself. "Perhaps, I could just ride by. Just to make sure she's okay."

"Oh yeah Pa." Joseph snickered. "Pa, would ya just go!" He sighed loudly.

"I'll be home in a little while Joseph. Have Adam and Hoss help you with King Samuel." He spurred on Buck and took off at a full gallop towards Catherine's house and as he went off, he heard his son's distinctive high pitched giggling.

Joseph, laughing hard, shook his head. "Fathers!"

The small white house looked pitch dark at first glance. He would have to wait until tomorrow to see her, when he picked her up for dinner and the barn dance. But as he was about to turn Buck around and head towards home, he spotted a small glow of light from the back of the house. Ben rode around to the back and found a small light coming through the curtains on the kitchen window. There was a back entrance through the kitchen and he stopped Buck next to it.

Catherine, unable to find sleep, even after Adam had made sure Danny would remain in the jail for the weekend, she had gone into the kitchen to make some warm milk in an effort to get a good night's rest. She had thought she heard the sound of horse's hooves and went to the kitchen window to see if anyone was out there. If there was, she was ready to go down the hall to grab Adam's rifle, though she had never fired one before. She pulled back the curtain slightly and though there was very little light, there was no mistaking the silvery reflection of Buck's conchos on his bridle. "Ben." She whispered.

Throwing open the kitchen door, she ran outside as Ben dismounted from his horse. "Ben!" Flying into his open arms, he lifted her up and kissed her hard. He continued to hold her up with his arms around her waist even after their kiss had slowly ended. "Oh I missed you!" Her arms were wrapped around his neck and she placed soft kisses on his stubbly cheek.

"Well now, that's some greeting Darling! But don't know how long you're going to want to hold onto me with this rough face of mine and I've got a layer of trail dust on me about an inch thick!" Ben chuckled at himself but closed his eyes at more kisses from her soft mouth.

"I don't care Ben, I'm just glad you're home."

He noticed and felt the thin nightgown she had on, just a soft layer of cotton between his hands and her bare skin. He looked down further and saw the small bare feet dangling while he held her up. "Bare feet. Let's get you inside, far too cold for you to be out here like this!" Ben brought her inside, holding on to her tight and not wanting to let go, not ever. "I missed you Catherine." He carried her into the living room and set her down gently upon the settee. Taking off his dusty coat, he sat down beside her and pulled her into his lap, putting his long arms around her and nuzzling her neck. He had almost forgotten what it felt like to be so loved and wanted and missed. "Well now, perhaps I should travel more often if this is the kind of homecoming I can expect in the future!" That mischievous grin of his could be so maddening and endearing, all at the same time.

"Don't you dare, Ben Cartwright!" Laying her head on his shoulder, she soon found a finger underneath her chin, guiding her mouth back to meet his again. With a slight amount of pressure, his lips pried hers open for a deeper kiss. Large hands swept over the thin fabric of her nightgown and it took every bit of restraint he could muster, not to pull the nightgown up over her head and let it fall to a heap on the ground.

Ben pulled her close and held on tight, he took in the soft brush of her hair against his coarse cheek and inhaled deeply at her scent of lavender and soap. Planting a tender kiss on her neck, his eyes briefly opened and when they did, they caught the shine of metallic in the corner of the hallway. His eyes adjusted to the dim light and slowly he recognized the object. Ben moved back from holding her and slid her off his lap, his expression changed in a moment from passion to worry. He rose off the couch and over to what had caught his eye, upon picking it up, he knew what it was immediately.

"Catherine, this is Adam's rifle. Why is this here?" He brought it to her, holding it in both hands. "What in blazes is going on?!"

She had hoped when she saw Buck outside, that this conversation could be avoided, if only for this one evening and then she would tell him about it tomorrow. But it was too late, there was no ignoring it now. "Adam thought it would be a good idea if he left a firearm with me. I have no idea how to use it!"

"But why Darling, I don't understand. Adam wouldn't leave this with you unless he felt you were in some kind of danger." Ben knelt down in front of her, beside the settee. "Catherine, tell me what happened."

Reluctantly, she filled him in on what Danny Irving had been up to and the trouble he had caused for her. But she also told him of how proud he could be of his sons. How they had jumped in to help her and bring her home safely.

Ben's entire body stiffened. "I knew there could be more trouble!" He shook his head, "I shouldn't have left you alone. Forgive me."

"There's nothing to forgive, you had no idea that this would happen. Adam and Hoss were wonderful to me Ben, you should know that. I'm so glad that they came when they did. Danny had such a look in his eyes, almost black. I don't mind telling you that I was frightened."

Putting the rifle down, Ben grasped her shoulders. "I'm so sorry Catherine."

"It's alright now Ben, you're here."

"I know, I feel the same way. But until this thing with Danny Irving is straightened out once and for all, I want you to come stay at the Ponderosa with me. We have that guest bedroom ready for you and you'll be much safer here than here by yourself."

Catherine shook her head. "No Ben, the rumors that Danny's been spreading. They will only get worse, much worse, if I was to stay at your home. Tom Irving, is already pushing to have me removed as the school teacher here. If I were to stay on the Ponderosa, I'd lose my teaching credentials."

"I don't care Catherine, I don't want you to be alone!"

"Alright then Ben, compromise?"

"I'm listening."

"Danny gets out of jail on Monday, I promise I'll go stay with Martha and Paul Martin for several days, if that's alright by you."

"That's a good compromise. Catherine I should get going home, my sons are expecting me. But," he smiled, "I'll still be picking you up at four tomorrow for dinner and a barn dance. So be ready, I know you're only going to be the best looking woman at that dance."

With a long hug and a deep kiss that left her sighing to herself, Ben got back on Buck and headed towards the Ponderosa. He had lots of questions for Adam and Hoss, and they had better have a good explanation!

Ben called his sons downstairs as soon as he walked through the door. There was no mistaking his tone and they were all gathered in the great room in a matter of moments. When he left Catherine's house, he was sure of one thing, he didn't know the whole story and he wanted answers. Whether Catherine had left off part of the story so as not to worry him or Adam and Hoss had not told her everything, but there was a distinct gap, Adam was not one to leave his rifle with someone for just a small reason.

"Adam, Hoss, do you two have something you want to tell me about? Something regarding Catherine and Danny Irving, perhaps?" Ben sat down in his favorite leather chair and folded his hands together.

Adam finished pulling on his shirt and sat down. "Yeah Pa, there is."

Ben listened somberly as Adam and Hoss recounted the events. His folded hands gripped together, turning his knuckles white when they told him of how Danny had grabbed her, but he maintained his composure as best as possible. He continued to listen silently as Adam told him of his theory about Danny Irving and pets and animals that had been mutilated. And that he had not told Catherine of his theory, he had no proof.

"Adam, you really think he did those things to Sally Ann's pony, Joe's rabbit?"

"Do I think it was him? Yeah Pa, I do. But I can't prove it. Don't you see that it all fits together? And now a dead rat shows up on Cat's door at school and what he said about while the cat's away the rat will play? You're the cat Pa! He saw you leaving and he saw it as the perfect opportunity to pursue her." Adam stood up and went to the fireplace, staring into the small flames. "Pa, Hoss remembers a little, but Danny and I were about the same age, I remember him from school. He hasn't been right for as long as I can remember. And if he's given to harming animals, how big of a step is it before he starts on people too!"

Ben's eyes grew wide. "That's why you left your rifle there, isn't it Adam? You don't believe this is the end of it."

Adam didn't respond right away, didn't want to respond to his Pa's question. The very idea of the woman his Father loved, being in danger, that something could happen to her; tore him apart. He couldn't remember how much of an effect his mother's death had on him, but he never forgot how the deaths of Inger and Marie had torn him apart. He would do anything not to see him in that kind of pain again. "No Pa," he finally answered in a low voice, "I don't think it is. I'm going to town first thing in the morning and find out if Roy heard anything back from Philadelphia yet."

"Maybe it was a good idea son. But a rifle is a mite too big for her, Sunday, I'll teach her how to shoot my revolver. It's been a long day, you three get up to bed. We do have a dinner guest tomorrow and a dance, don't you forget."

The three sons started up the stairs and back towards their bedrooms.

"Adam, Hoss." Ben stopped them. "Thank you."

Ben stayed seated in his chair throughout most the night. His thoughts drifting to the three wives he had lost. He drank a small glass of sherry, hoping that it would bring some peace to his mind and quiet it down. But he found no relief and he threw the crystal glass into the fire. No! He told himself. He looked up and made a vow, "I will not allow her to be taken from me, not Catherine. Haven't I given enough already?! Haven't I lost enough! What more do you want from me?! I will not lose her, do you hear me?! I will not lose her!"

Autumn had settled in on the Ponderosa, leaves were beginning to take on their glorious fall colors with most of the Aspens already turning a brilliant golden hue. The highest peaks were wearing their winter caps of snow and ice, Ben had felt it in the air last night coming home, he could feel the snow on the mountains. His sons always knew, that their Pa was far more accurate than the Farmer's Almanac, he could feel the weather changing in his blood. Ben went out first thing in the morning to get the carriage ready for picking up Catherine and taking her to the barn dance. He had noticed that Sport wasn't in his stall and Adam hadn't joined them for breakfast. His eldest was on his way into town to assure that Danny Irving wouldn't be any trouble tonight.

Ben desperately wanted everything to be perfect and he had planned it down to the last detail. After all, it wasn't every day that he asked someone to marry him. He tossed an extra wool blanket into the carriage, it would be a late night and no doubt, a chilly ride back to her house. Hop Sing had been directed to make a very special meal and to get out their finest linens and china. His sons had pitched in as well with adding an extra bit of spit and polish to the great room, the huge stone fireplace even received a good cleaning.

Ben finished dressing for the evening and went downstairs. Though a barn dance was a casual affair, he still put on his dress blue slacks and white tailored shirt, finishing it off with his black tie. But the tie would more than likely be removed after dinner, once they got to the dance.

"You going to a barn dance or a cotillion Pa?" Joe snickered.

Ben cast a serious look towards his youngest son. "Joseph, your brothers have ties on for dinner, I suggest you do the same thing young man."

Joe grimaced, he really didn't enjoy wearing a tie, but he reluctantly nodded and went back upstairs to get his tie.

Adam and Hoss quietly watched their Pa go to the safe and pull out a small blue box, placing it in his pants pocket. The two brothers had already been informed by the youngest of the contents of the box and Hoss grinned from ear to ear, elbowing Adam in the side.

Returning downstairs, with his tie all cock-eyed, Joseph fussed as Ben fixed it for him, as he had done so many times before. "You three," Ben started, "sit down, I want to talk to you." He finished Joe's tie and thrust his hands in his pockets, touching the velvet box. His sons sat down and Ben stood in front of the fireplace, "I wanted to tell you all something…ah…I..I'm, well later tonight, I'm going to ask Catherine to marry me."

"Yee haw!" Hoss let out a whoop that his Pa would swear could be heard in California. "Didn't I tell ya Adam?! Didn't I?"

"You told me? I told you!" Adam grinned and went to Ben, putting his arm around his Pa's shoulders. "Congratulations Pa. She's a good woman."

Hoss and Joe caught him in a hug that nearly knocked the wind out of him.

"So when you two lovebirds tying the noose, err, knot?" Joe giggled.

"We haven't talked about that yet Joseph, she still has to say yes first, you know!" He was thrilled to see his sons happy over the idea of his marrying Catherine, even so, he felt a need to speak to them more about it. If she did say yes, things would definitely be different. He pulled away slightly from their hugs, "listen to me. If she says yes…"

"Of course, she's gonna say yes Pa, anyone can see how much she loves ya!" Hoss interrupted, he had to admit, he thought Catherine was the best girl he'd seen his Pa with in a very long time.

"Listen!" Ben grew frustrated, wanting to make sure that they understood. "If she moves in here, things are gonna be different, a lot different. This is a masculine home boys, there hasn't been a woman living here for a very long time. It's gonna take some patience from all of us. Understand?"

"Dontcha worry Pa, Cat's gonna fit in just fine. You'll see."

"Hoss is right," Adam added. "She's going to fit in just fine. Oh, we all know it's going to be an adjustment. But I think it'll be harder for her, than it will us. But don't you worry Pa, it's all going to work out fine."

"Show 'em the ring Pa!" Joe's enthusiasm and the support of his sons helped ease Ben's mind, they were right though, the biggest adjustment would be for Catherine, moving in with himself and his three sons.

Ben hesitantly pulled the ring from his pocket. He hadn't forgotten Joe's reaction to it, calling it plain. Engagement rings were a relatively new thing, a fad that had caught on from England and though these new rings were incredibly ornate with scrollwork and layers of fancy stones and such, Ben had picked a much simpler one that he thought most suited her. He opened the square box and showed the ring to them.

"Shore is pretty Pa! Hey, it matches her eyes, don't it?"

"Yes it does. That's what drew me to it." Ben turned around the box to look at the center stone again, as clear and as sparkling as her eyes when she laughed.

"Hey Adam," Joe nudged his other brother and winked. "Don't you think it's kinda plain? Not exactly the fashion of the day."

Adam rolled his eyes, "and what exactly do you know about the latest fashion in jewelry?"

"I read! The stuff coming over from England that the ladies are buying, it's pretty fancy stuff!"

"This suits Catherine just fine Joseph." Ben closed the box tightly. At least he certainly hoped it would suit her. Ben went to the front door and picked up his black Stetson. "I'll be back shortly with Catherine." He pointed his long finger at Joe. "Not a word about the ring, understood?" When Joe nodded meekly, he turned to Adam. "Walk with me outside."

Adam quietly followed him outside to the carriage, waiting for his father to say what was on his mind.

"You missed breakfast Adam. I take it you went into Virginia City?" Ben asked.

"Yea Pa, I did. I went and talked to Roy and his new deputy. Danny Irving is still in that jail cell and making lots of noise."

"His father hasn't gotten him out yet?" Ben was somewhat surprised.

"Well his father tried, but you know how stubborn Roy can be. He wasn't about to give into Mr. Irving. I'll tell you though Pa, Roy did send that wire to Philadelphia where Danny was sent off to school. And he already got a response. Seems they're looking into two cases and wanted a detailed description of Danny."

"What kind of cases?" Ben asked as he brought the reins into the carriage.

"The wire from Philadelphia didn't say Pa, just that they were investigating two cases and wanted his description. That's all. Roy's already replied with a detailed description and asking about the cases, the nature of them and all. Roy was pretty surprised to hear from them so quick. He said that the big police departments back east take their sweet time answering questions to us backwoods folks out west."

"I wonder what they're looking into it." Ben climbed into the carriage. "At least we don't have to worry about Danny Irving this weekend. I can't get what you said about Danny and mutilating animals out of my head though. He's a dangerous young man, Adam. That's one of the reasons I've asked Catherine to stay with Paul Martin once Danny is out of jail. I do worry for her safety. Frankly, the sooner we're married and she's under our roof, the better I'll feel."

"Pa, Danny might not be a concern tonight, but if Tom Irving gets wind you're bringing her to the barn dance tonight, there could be trouble. He's pretty worked up over this, apparently have some very choice words about Catherine. He sees the whole thing as her fault."

"I'll deal with Tom Irving if I need to. He's a wind bag, that's all." Ben's voice was authoritative and stern.

"I know Pa. I remember what you said once, that you would never put the Ponderosa above the love of a good woman. And I agree with you, just remember Tom Irving has a lot of money in a lot of places."

"You're worried he could cause us problems in business?"

"Yeah Pa, he could cause some real trouble if he sets his mind to it."

"What do you want me to do Adam, give up Catherine, make everything nice and easy again."

"No Pa!" Adam took hold of his father's shoulder. "We want you to be happy and Catherine's a good woman, I think we all like her. I'm just saying, he can stir up real trouble."

"And if he does Adam?" Ben questioned, he was aware of Irving's vast and diverse holdings and the fact that if he concentrated his efforts he could cause some serious problems for them and for the Ponderosa.

"We can take whatever he throws at us Pa. Now, you best get going or you're going to be late picking up your future wife!"

Ben pulled the carriage up in front of Catherine's house, pulling out his pocket watch, he checked the time and was pleased by his promptness. He was, however, expecting to wait on Catherine a bit for her to finish getting ready. So, he was surprised when she met him at the door all ready to go. She was dressed simply in a charcoal gray skirt and white top, her auburn hair tied back with a dark green bow. Lovely was the word that came to his mind when he saw her.

"Ready?" He asked.

"Mmm hmmm." She nodded and he placed a small kiss on her mouth before helping her into the carriage.

Dinner had flowed easily and he was quite happy and satisfied over how his sons seemed taken with her and she with them. Even during a bit a playful banter at the table, she had joined in with ease as though she had been having meals with them for years. Adam and Hoss, appeared to be the most taken with her, but they had spent a full day with her already and had some chance to get to know her prior to this evening. Ben had seated her at his right at the table and more than once he would take her hand under the table and give it a small squeeze as encouragement, but she hardly needed it. Thankfully, no one let slip about the small box he had in his pocket.

The Daggett's barn dance was well underway when Ben pulled the carriage up. The boys had arrived on horseback earlier and were already inside, checking out the goings on. Chinese lanterns and torches lit up the night, along with a large fire pit with seating around it for anyone that wanted to sit outside and enjoy the cool night air. When Ben lifted her slowly from the carriage, holding her gently by her waist, he saw the sparkle of excitement in her eyes as he set her down and the worries and fears of Danny Irving seemed to have fallen away. He would keep a watchful eye though, he wasn't about to let Tom Irving or anyone else ruin the night for her, for them.

It had been years since either of them had been to a barn dance, though both of them had attended formal ballroom dance functions over the years, they were well out of practice when it came to the country and barn dances. He had waited till he heard an old favorite announced, the Virginia Reel and he took her hand leading her out onto the floor. Despite several missteps that had led to much laughter from both of them, he was thankful at least that he had left her small toes intact.

He was enjoying the familiarity of the barn dances, they required closer contact than that of a ballroom dance. Putting his arm around her waist, spinning her around and having her so close and nearly constantly touching during the dances, in one form or another, was a reminder to him of just how much he desired her and wanted her touch for the rest of his life.

After several dances, Ben felt a tap on his arm and when he turned to see who wanted to cut in, he broke into a large smile when he found some of Catherine's students standing there. They had called the next dance as a circle one and they wanted to join in. The other dances had been too grown up for the children, but this one was a perfect way for them to learn new steps.

"Oh Ben, do you mind?"

"Not at all and if you don't mind, I think I'm going to go have some punch. You've nearly worn me out young lady!" He smiled and touched her shoulder. "I'll just watch this one." Ben made his way to the adults punch bowl and grimaced when he tasted it, heavily spiked, it burned on its way down his throat.

He spotted Joe joining in on the very lively circle dance, a young lady on either side of him. He couldn't take his eyes off the beautiful young woman he would soon ask to be his bride. He loved seeing her so happy, the sound of her laughter as she danced in the circle with some of her students. She was obviously a much loved teacher.

Hoss sidled up next to him, taking a glass of punch down in one gulp. "Lordy, that's strong stuff!" He exclaimed, making a face. He looked over at the Circle and back at his Pa and the smile on his face as he watched Catherine dancing.

"She shore is sumethin' Pa."

"Yes she is."

"Ya ask her yet?"

Ben shook his head, "no, no not yet."

"She shore is great with the lil' ones, ain't she?"

"Yes, she certainly is." He chuckled lightly. "She does love children."

Hoss grinned and slapped his Pa's back. "Guess Lil' Joe ain't gonna be the youngest for much longer then, is he."

"What? No, no children, me? I'm too old for that Hoss!"

"She ain't too old I reckon."

Ben looked at his son wide-eyed, then back to Catherine. She was most certainly older than his sons, but she was younger than he was and still of a child bearing age. A baby? At my age? He watched her carefully, she is wonderful with children. But I'm too old to be caring for a baby, aren't I? There's lots of men, older than me that have started families, why look at Don Wales he's older than me and just had his first boy. His first, but I have three grown sons already! I should've thought of this. "Look at her, look at how happy she is." He hadn't realized he'd said that out loud.

"Yeah Pa, she does love those sprouts!"

For a split second, Ben's mind took him to a bedside, Catherine lying in bed and cradling their newborn. Our child.

"Pa?" Hoss said for the third time.

"I don't know Hoss. Hadn't thought about it."

"Shoot Pa, you know might be kinda nice to have a lil' sprout in the house, think ya know I'd spoil that one rotten, dontcha?! Him or her."

"Yeah, I bet you would!" Ben scratched his chin, "her."

The dance ended and Catherine joined Ben by the punch bowl. He poured her a glass, "gotta warn you though, it's pretty powerful stuff."

Catherine took the glass from him and tried a bit, grimacing as it burned her throat. "My goodness, powerful is an understatement!"

"Why don't we take a walk and get some fresh air." Ben suggested.

"That's a lovely idea, it is getting rather warm in here."

Outside of the barn, he folded his hand around hers. "Are you having a good time?" He asked.

"It's wonderful Ben, I haven't danced this much in…well….I don't know how long!" She leaned her head against his arm and let him lead her back by some seating near the fire pit. She was happy to find that no one else was there and could have him all to herself for a little while.

"You looked so happy out there dancing with your students. You know it got me to wondering and I don't mean to pry, but I guess I was curious why you and Mark never had any children of your own."

"Yes I do love children. Ben, Mark informed me years ago that I couldn't bear children. A doctor's wife that couldn't have children, he reminded me often about how much that upset him."

"I'm sorry Catherine, I didn't know."

"It's alright, I grew used to the idea a long time ago." She sat down next to him on a small bench near the fire, admiring the way the light of the flames reflected on his face and made his silver hair fairly glow. "You're a very lucky man, you know, three wonderful sons, the Ponderosa."

"Yes, I guess I am. My life is almost complete."

"Almost?"

Ben pulled the box from his pocket. "Almost. There's just one thing missing. You." He held the box in front of her and opened it to reveal an emerald mine cut gold ring with two diamonds on either side of it. "The day that I met you, when I carried your books to school, I knew." He removed the ring from the box and took her hand. "The moment I met you, I found that part of my life that had been missing. I love you. Marry me Catherine." He gently slid the ring onto her finger. "Marry me, be my wife."

Catherine's green eyes welled up, she looked down at the beautiful ring and then into the dark eyes of the man she loved so much. "Oh yes Ben, yes!"

The word of their engagement spread quickly. Sunday morning, when Ben found her sitting by herself in church, he had taken her hand and led her up to sit with them in the front row. Paul and Martha were off tending to a young woman about to give birth to her first child and Catherine was glad to have Ben take her hand. She heard some whisperings when she had first arrived at church and the remarks were hardly of a Christian nature, no doubt a result, she assumed, of the lies that Danny Irving had been spreading.

Near the end of the service, the Parson made his usual request of asking if there were any announcements and Hoss had nearly jumped to his feet to announce that his Pa and Mrs. Timmons were getting hitched. Catherine flushed a bright red and Ben took her hand proudly. But behind them, they heard a few grumblings and some words that were not fitting for a church. Tom Irving rudely pushed past others in the pew, made his way to the door and slammed it hard on his way out, nearly taking the door off of its hinges.

She put her hand over Ben's for added comfort, the bright green emerald on her finger for everyone to see. They were both surrounded after church, with well wishers and congratulations. Roy had slapped Ben heartily on the back, telling him "what took ya so long?!"

The parson stopped to congratulate them both and asked them about their impending nuptials and a date for the blessed event.

"We haven't even talked about that yet, but before Thanksgiving." Ben had told him, much to Catherine's surprise, Thanksgiving was but a month away.

Ben had parted from her slowly, telling her he would be by her place later that afternoon. He had promised to teach her how to shoot and wasn't about to break that promise, especially after Tom Irving had put on that little display during the service.

She was knocked right off of her feet and it was all Ben could do not to laugh. He knew the recoil on Adam's rifle would be too much for her, it was far too powerful for someone her size. "Darling, are you alright?"

Catherine rubbed her shoulder as she stood back up. "Yes, yes I'm fine. I just feel rather silly."

"Let me see that." Taking the rifle from her, he pushed back the fabric of her blouse slightly around her shoulder and found a deep red mark. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have even let you try that, you're going to have a bruise there I think." His hand lingered there and he bent down, placing a small kiss on the angry red mark. "Better?" He grinned.

"All better." She chuckled. She had insisted on trying out the rifle, much to Ben's consternation and he'd been right of course, it was much too powerful for her.

He had picked her up earlier in the afternoon and they had taken the carriage out to a spot at Lake Tahoe that he was particularly fond of. In the back of the carriage, he'd brought along several tin cans and glass bottles to practice shooting with and a gun that he thought would be much more appropriate for her size. But he had one more surprise for later, a picnic basket for when they got hungry later and a bottle of champagne to properly toast their upcoming marriage. He went back to the carriage to retrieve the gun he had brought with him for Catherine to try out and wanted her to keep for protection.

"Catherine, try this." He told her, placing the gun in her hand. "This one's called a Baby Dragoon, I think you'll find this one much more to your liking." Ben stood next to her and showed her how to open her hand and fold it around the gun, with her index finger on the trigger. When she had the proper hold of it, he stood behind her and his left hand guided her on how to hold it with both hands and aim. "Look through the sight at the end of the barrel, that tin can should be right in the middle." His right arm went up against hers, "keep your arms steady, focus on that can and squeeze the trigger when you're ready."

She took aim and fired, the shot going just to the right of the tin can. "Darn!" She exclaimed.

"That was pretty close!" Ben exclaimed. "Now we'll try again, but this time, spread your legs apart slightly so you keep your balance. You took a small step last time when you fired." He felt her legs adjust their stance and he extended his arms out again, against hers. "Try it again."

She felt his warm breath on her neck, his strong arms against hers and it was becoming very difficult for her to focus. But she looked down the barrel at the sights and got the tin can right in the center, taking aim, she fired and knocked the tin can right off the rock. "I did it!" She exclaimed happily.

"Excellent! That was a beautiful shot, perfect!" He planted a kiss on her neck. "Do it again. This time the glass bottle." He was increasingly aware of her closeness, her scent and how he could almost feel her shiver slightly when he had kissed her neck. His hands ran down from either side of her waist, to the curve of her hips, "spread your legs slightly for balance." He pressed himself into her back. "Good," he whispered into her ear as she spread her legs to align with her shoulders. Large, long fingers slowly traced up the sides of her body to her arms, he wrapped his hands around her arms slowly moving down the length of them while he nuzzled her neck and lightly nibbled on her earlobe. "Take aim." His voice became husky and sensuous.

She could barely focus, her heart pounding at his tender touch and wanting kisses on her neck and ear. But she focused again on that tiny sight, putting the bottle between the two points and shattered the glass with a bullet that went straight through it. "Ben…"

He took the gun from her hand and let it fall to the ground. Ben pulled her against him, his powerful arms enveloping her as he buried his face in her neck and shoulder with passionate kisses.

He watched her move closer to the lake, taking in her surroundings and caught her shiver slightly. Her thin camisole was no match for the autumn air now that the sun was beginning to set. Ben got up off the blanket and wrapped his shirt over her bare shoulders. He wrapped her up in his arms and drew her close, her warm breath tickling the hair on his chest.

"You know, I think you should wear that outfit more often."

"Oh? You like the brown split skirt and the top I was wearing? Is that what brought this on?" She smirked up at him.

"Actually I just meant the skirt and the camisole, quite becoming on you."

"You do know that if I went into town dressed like this, they'd throw me in jail, don't you?"

"And I would bail you right out! I'd tell Roy that a woman with such lovely shoulders should never conceal them!" With that remark, he kissed the tops of both her shoulders.

"Flatterer!" She laughed, hugging him tighter but winced at moving the shoulder that had caught the recoil of Adam's rifle hours ago. "Owww, you were right, I'm definitely going to have a bruise there. Sorry I didn't listen and insisted on trying it anyway." She turned her gaze back to the lake and the setting sun. "It's so beautiful here!" She gasped, in awe of the mountains that rose to the heavens in the distance, the crystal clear blue of Lake Tahoe and the giant trees that surrounded them. "Ben is this part of the Ponderosa too?"

"Mmm hmm" he replied. He released his hold on her and went over to the carriage. "I took the liberty of bringing some food along, I thought we might get hungry. I just hadn't planned on really working up an appetite." He winked at her and she laughed. Ben had come so close to the point of no return and making love to her, he didn't know where he had found the resolve to stop, but he was determined to wait for the actual act until their wedding night. But in the time he had spent with her that afternoon, he learned that there was so much that she didn't know, such as pleasuring the woman you loved without the actual act itself and Ben was not one to leave a woman in the throes of desire. His own passion would wait. From what he had learned, Catherine only knew about a man taking and nothing else. He wondered how a man that had such a loving and passionate wife could ever just take from her without pleasuring her the way she deserved to be.

"Oh this place takes my breath away!" She paused for a moment, "and so do you." Catherine turned to the distinct sound of a champagne cork popping. "Champagne?" She smiled.

"It is a special occasion after all." He took two champagne glasses from the basket, handing one to her as she sat down on the grass beside him. Catherine offered him back his shirt as he wrapped a second blanket around her shoulders. "Didn't you hear? I'm getting married." He said.

"Oh you are? Anyone I know?" She giggled.

Ben put his blue shirt back on, leaving it unbuttoned, and leaned back against the tree. The two champagne glasses clinked together. "Oh I think you know her quite well." He held her close and her head laid comfortably on his shoulder. "Are you happy Catherine?"

She lifted her head from his shoulder, "very happy. Ben, I love you so very much."

Ben took her in his strong arms and kissed her lips softly. "I love you." He held her as they watched the sun set and the light of a near full moon lit the sky. "I should take you home young lady. I suspect you're going to start wanting to make wedding plans."

"Ben, we haven't set a date."

"Alright then, a date, how about two weeks from Saturday?"

Her eyes flew wide, "Two weeks?! Ben Cartwright, have you lost your mind?! I can't possibly be ready in two weeks!"

"Alright then, three weeks!"

"You are incorrigible!"

Roy had enjoyed attending church services that morning and he'd been even happier when he found out his old friend Ben was going to get married again. Despite Danny Irving's rantings, none of which he believed, he rather liked Mrs. Timmons from what he knew of her. He hoped that in the future, as Mrs. Ben Cartwright, he'd have a chance to get to know her better under much easier circumstances.

With the new deputy of his on duty, he took time to enjoy a leisurely lunch, for the first time in a few years and then went off to the telegraph office to see if there'd been any response to his second inquiry to the Philadelphia Police Department. The telegraph operator met him at the door.

"Was just on the way to see ya sheriff! Got this a little while ago!" He handed over the piece of paper that he had so neatly written down the information he had received from one Sargent Franklin at the Philadelphia Police Department. "He thinks Danny killed them, don't he?! Well, don't he?!"

Roy shushed him, taking a moment to process what he was reading. This Sargent Franklin was on his way to Virginia City to question Danny Irving about two murders in Philadelphia involving young women. In both cases, animals had been killed as well and in the second murder there was a witness and Danny fit the description. "My God." He muttered. Roy turned to walk out of the office, but the operator stopped him.

"So why'd ya let him out?"

"What?" It didn't quite register.

"Danny Irving, he was walking down the street with his Pa about an hour ago. Why'd ya let him out?"

Roy ran as fast as he could across the street and threw open the front door to his office, he went immediately to the jail cells, Danny Irving was gone. "What in tarnation?! Where is HE?!" He yelled into the young deputy's face.

"Sheriff, Misser Irving came here with his lawyer, said they were gonna sue us for wrongful something and take everything I have, every penny! He even knew I was trying to save up my money to bring my wife and boy out west sheriff! He was gonna take all of it if we didn't let him out. I had to sheriff, had to!" The young man nearly cowered in the older sheriff's presence.

"Don't you get it, they couldn't take what you have! They were trying to scare ya into doing what they wanted. And you fell right into it boy! Give me your badge right now and get the hell outta my sight!" Roy checked his gun and grabbed a rifle from the rack.

"Where ya going?" The deputy asked.

"To the Ponderosa, someone's gotta warn them that a killer got let outta jail!" Roy mounted his horse. "I want you gone by the time I get back, ya hear me?!"

The deputy answered, "yessir." And fondled the $500 in his pocket, he had just been employed by Tom Irving.

Roy headed first to Mrs. Timmons place and when he found no one there, he spurred on his horse and headed for the Ponderosa. He rapped hard on the door as storm clouds began to gather overhead. Adam had answered and he thrust the telegram into his hands and told Ben's three sons that Danny Irving was out of jail. The boys grabbed their gun belts and headed out into the oncoming storm. Roy and Joe headed for the Irving's place, hoping they would find Danny at home where Roy could once again arrest Danny Irving and hold him until the Sargent arrived. Adam and Hoss rode towards Catherine's place, planning a stop by the Lake of Tears first, knowing that their Pa had taken her there once before. They all feared that with the news from Philadelphia and Danny's anger, she and their Pa were both in a great deal of danger.

The conversation back towards her home was light and filled with laughter. He'd been so wrapped up in her company that he hadn't noticed the dark clouds that had gathered overhead and it was soon sprinkling on them. It was a downpour by the time they reached her small house and lightning was filling up the sky.

"You are soaked to the skin Catherine! Go inside and get warm, I'm going to put Buck inside the barn until this rain stops."

"I'll make some hot coffee."

"Sounds perfect." He kissed her briefly on her front porch then ran back to the buggy. "C'mon Buck, let's get you in the barn and I'll get you dried off boy."

Catherine unlocked her front door and stepped inside, shaking off the cold. She was soaking wet and shivering. But she turned on her heels quickly when she heard the door close behind her and lock.

"Evenin' Catherine." Danny Irving grinned at her in the darkness. "I came by cause I heard this stupid rumor that you were gonna marry that old man. Now, that ain't true is it?"

Catherine turned stark white and took a step backwards. "Yes it's true and he'll be here any moment. I thought you were in jail."

"Aww darlin' nothing can keep us apart, dontcha know that?" Danny grabbed hold of her and pulled her to him, forcing a kiss on her mouth and ripping her blouse.

Catherine screamed but it was met by the sound of thunder.

"Go ahead, scream! It's too late, no one will hear ya!" He tried again to kiss her and this time she freed her hand and dug her nails into his cheek. "Whore!" He shouted and backhanded her across the face, sending her to the floor.

She gathered her wits and started running for the back door in the kitchen. But he got a hold of her wet hair and yanked her down onto the ground.

Buck was unhitched from the buggy and he took his horse's reins, guiding him into the barn. Inside he slipped and nearly fell and he looked up at the roof figuring there was a spot that needed patching. But his eyes caught sight of a large form on the ground, in the darkness he had trouble making it out at first. He found a lantern and lit it, holding it out to see. "Belle?" Catherine's horse was on the ground, not moving. A few steps closer and his face filled with horror, Belle was dead. "Oh my God." She had been butchered, it was the only word he could think of, "butchered, who did this?!" It was not rain water he slipped on but the blood of her beloved horse. "Catherine!"

Her screams filled the night air. "Ben!" He raced back to the house and found the front door locked, he kicked hard and flew it off of its hinges. "Catherine!"

"Shut up whore! I just wanted you to love me!"

He knew the voice, Danny. Ben ran towards the sounds of her screams and flew open the kitchen door. Danny was straddling Catherine on the ground, his hands wrapped around her throat, squeezing the very life from her.

"Get off of her!" Ben's angry voice boomed, he lunged at Danny, grabbing at him and pulling Danny's hands off her neck. His fist connected with Danny's jaw and sent the young man reeling into a corner cabinet, dishes shattered everywhere on the floor. Another punch to the man's head sent Danny to the floor with the broken dishes.

"Oh God, please no." Ben dropped to his knees beside Catherine, taking her limp body into his arms he brushed back the wet hair from her face. "Catherine. Catherine!" Plates scraping on the floor, caught his ear, he turned to see Danny going for his gun. Ben shielded Catherine, Danny fired wildly and missed. Ben drew and fired his gun, one shot, the bullet pierced Danny Irving between the eyes.

Adam and Hoss burst through the front door at the sound of gunfire, their guns drawn, they found their Pa cradling Catherine in his arms, she wasn't moving. "Oh no." Adam whispered.

Hoss put his hand on his Pa's shoulder. "Pa…"

"Get away!" He yelled at his son. "Catherine, damn you, breathe!"

Her eyes flew open wide and she gasped trying to bring air into her lungs and coughing hard. "It's alright, it's alright, you're safe now. Just breathe in." He spoke softly. He took note of everything, her blouse had been torn off and there was a steady stream of blood coming from a cut just below her eye, her neck was a fiery red with handprints that had been left there by Danny Irving. He picked her up in his arms and carried her out of the kitchen and away from the horrible scene. When he tried to put her on the settee, she hoarsely asked him to take her onto the patio and out of the house, he grabbed a throw from atop the settee and used it to cover her up and keep her warm. Ben brought her outside, holding her tight, and gently set her down on a small love seat she had out there.

"I'll be right back." He kissed the top of her forehead. "Hoss, would you sit with her please for a moment?"

"Course Pa."

Ben went back to the kitchen with Adam, but left the front door to the house open. "He was waiting for her when we got back. How did he get outta jail?" Ben asked, hoping Adam would be able to provide some answers.

"Deputy let him out, let Tom Irving's lawyer scare him. It was Roy that came by the house, he gave me this." Adam gave him the telegram.

"Cat… can I getcha anything?" Hoss asked.

"Water please?" Her throat was so sore and it was hard to get any words out.

Ben's eyes grew wide as he read, "she was going to be his next victim. And Belle, what he did to her horse!"

Catherine caught Ben's words. "Belle?" She stood up as Hoss went back inside to get her a glass of water. Catherine made her way to the barn, trying to run but finding her legs to weak. "Belle!"

"Hoss!" Ben yelled, "Hoss stop her! Don't let her see Belle!"

His Pa was steps behind him and Hoss ran towards Cat, catching her just as she got inside the barn, but it was too late and they both saw Belle.

She screamed and Hoss grabbed a hold of her, pulling her to his chest and turning her around. "Lord Almighty!" He shut his eyes tight at the gruesome sight. "Oh Lord Almighty!" He held onto her tight, her small frame shaking and racked with tears.

Ben took Catherine from Hoss and scooped her up into his arms, holding her so tightly while she sobbed, her head buried in his chest. "Adam, go find the sheriff and Joe, I'm bringing Catherine home with me. He can find us both there, but I'm getting her away from here right now."

When Ben had turned Catherine away, Hoss took a few steps away from the both of them and lost the contents of his stomach. Adam put his hand on his brother's back. "Hoss. You alright?"

He regained some of his composure and stood back up, still feeling sickened. "No one should see what's in there." He pointed to the barn. "No one."

Adam looked over at his Pa and Cat. "she's been through some kinda hell tonight."

"I think they both have." Hoss wiped an errant tear from his eye.

Ben put a cool damp cloth to her forehead, wiping away the sweat that had beaded there. She had woken up screaming again and he went into her room, after assuring his sons that everything was alright.

"I'm sorry Ben, I woke everyone again didn't I." Her eyes were filled with tears and her heart was still pounding. Catherine could still feel Danny's hands on her neck.

"Darling, there's nothing for you to be sorry for. " He sat on the edge of her bed in his nightshirt and she had sat up, leaning against him. Ben held her in his arms, wishing he could take her pain away. The bruises on her face and neck were reminders of how close he had come to losing her. He released his hold on her and started to get up, but she reached out and took his hand.

"Stay for a little while?" She whispered.

"I'm not going anywhere. I thought I'd get a book. Would you like me to read you to sleep?" She nodded weakly and he went to the bookcase and pulled out a book. "How about Walden?" He asked.

"It's one of my favorites." Catherine moved over on the bed and he joined her there, sitting back against the headboard and stretching out his long legs as he straightened his nightshirt. He drew her close putting his arm around her and she laid her head on his chest, letting her arm reach across his waist.

He stirred at the first glimmer of sunlight that streamed through a space in the curtains. Opening his eyes slowly, he found himself in Catherine's bed. The book he'd been reading was next to him and Catherine was wrapped up in his arms, one of her legs draped over his. He'd fallen asleep while reading to her. Ben kissed the top of her head and relished the feeling of waking up with her in his arms, knowing that this was a moment he could look forward to for the rest of his life. Closing his eyes, he gave a silent thank you to God that she was still with him and he hadn't lost her. She began to move in his arms and he felt her stretch out her legs.

Catherine opened her eyes and looked up into Ben's face. Her eyes grew wide at realizing they had spent most of the night together. "Ben?"

"I'm afraid I fell asleep while reading to you." Rubbing her back, he put a small kiss on her forehead. "How are you this morning? Better?"

She had to admit she had slept soundly after he had begun reading to her. His deep sweet voice had comforted her, making her feel safe and she'd fallen asleep with her head on his broad chest. "Better. But your sons, what are they going to think?"

"Don't worry about that. Besides, I already heard Adam leaving. Hoss is probably already downstairs getting breakfast and Joe's still in bed. They'll more than understand, Catherine. Besides, last time I checked I'm a grown man and can do what I want." He smiled and moved to get out of bed. "I'll let you get dressed. Are you sure you're up to going into town for our statements?" They had told Roy they would be in town today to write out their official statements about Danny Irving and what had happened, but he worried about whether Catherine could get through it or not. It had understandably been a very rough couple of days, but she seemed to be handling the whole thing rather well except for the nightmares. Yesterday afternoon, he had watched her sitting on a hay bale in the barn, she was facing the horses. When he had approached, he saw the tears in her eyes and he sat down beside her, just holding her silently while she mourned the loss of her horse.

"Yes, I think so." She watched him go to the door. "Ben remind me to thank Adam again for taking over teaching this week."

"I will and you know what? I think he's rather enjoying it." He opened the door, "I'll be downstairs in a few moments. Catherine?"

She stretched her arms high over her head and winced, her body still aching. "Yes?"

"I love you. It's going to be alright today."

"I love you Ben. You know, I'm glad you fell asleep reading last night."

"Me too."

He held the door open for Catherine and they both went Roy's office. Hoss had rode into town with them and followed them inside. He had spent the day before at Catherine's house, with two of the ranch hands, cleaning up her place and taking care of burying Belle. Hoss had insisted on doing that himself, he couldn't stand the idea of anyone else seeing what had been done to her horse.

She had worn the highest neckline blouse that she had. Hoss had been kind enough to pack up many of her clothes and brought them to her at the ranch. Catherine wanted to cover up the black and blue marks on her neck, she had tried powder on her face to hide the bruise and cut below her eye but it had proven to be useless. A sunbonnet, one she hadn't worn in years, was chosen to help hide her face and when she rode into town with Ben, she had pulled it close to her face.

Roy pulled out a chair for her and she sat down, taking off the large bonnet and he saw her face for the first time since that awful night. Ben sat down next to her and took her hand, he watched her as they recounted the events of that evening and he tightened his grip on her hand while he listened to what had happened when she had walked in her house. She had kept her composure through the entire recounting of it and he couldn't help but admire her inner strength.

The sheriff finished writing everything down and stood up, moving to lean on the corner of his desk. "That should about do it. Mrs. Timmons, thank you. I'm shore wasn't easy fer ya."

"Thank you, but I'm alright." She spoke in a small voice and looked at Ben, it was his love and support that had given her strength. Positive that she couldn't have gotten through this alone, she was so grateful to have him there, holding her hand, his warm gaze giving her the strength she needed to recount what had happened.

"Now, I hope you two can move onto happier things!" Roy gave a hearty pat to Ben's back. "Ya set a date for the wedding yet?" He tried to change the subject, wanting to see his longtime friend as happy and proud as he had been Sunday morning at church, when Hoss had announced their upcoming wedding to the whole congregation.

Ben looked over to Catherine, they had been talking over their wedding date that night. He remembered how her mouth had nearly dropped to the floor when he had suggested two weeks. "No no not yet."

Catherine looked up at Ben and smiled slightly. "Soon."

Ben resisted the urge to hug her right there in front of Roy. "Yes, soon."

"Well ya don't forget your ol' friend here Ben! I intend to watch ya get married to this lovely young lady."

"You'll be there Roy, wouldn't have it any other way."

Hoss started to open the door for his Pa and Cat, but the door nearly smacked him in the face as someone threw it open hard.

Ben and Catherine came face to face with Tom Irving, Danny's father.

"Now Tom, told ya not to come here today. Don't want no trouble." Roy attempted to diffuse what could be a very bad situation, in his opinion.

"No trouble sheriff." Tom glared at Ben and Catherine, his face filled with hatred. "Just wanted to see the two people that killed my boy."

Gritting his teeth, Ben moved toe to toe with Irving. "Your boy was trying to kill her. And I killed him in self defense."

"Tom, the case is closed. Ain't no use in trying ta make things worse." Roy could feel the tension building, all it needed was a flame and Tom Irving was happy to provide the match to the fuse.

"Mr. Irving, I'm sorry. Your son was sick, he needed help." Catherine tried to ease things, but it only served to inflame Irving even more.

"Dontcha talk to me! You lured him there to his death! He told me how you were toying with him!" Tom Irving made the mistake of raising his hand to her. "Whore!"

Ben moved fast, he latched onto Irving's coat and shoved him back up against the wall. "Stay away from her!"

Irving threw a punch into Ben's stomach, doubling him over for just a second. He moved towards Catherine and Hoss grabbed his shoulders, pushing him away. Regaining his breath, his Pa doubled up his fist and planted one across Irving's face and knocked him back against the wall again. Pulling him up by his coat, he put his arm across Irving's throat and pressed. "How about I crush your throat, like your son was trying to do to Catherine! How about that?!" He pressed harder on Irving.

"Ben!" Roy shouted.

"Pa!" Hoss pulled on him, trying to get him to release Irving. Rarely was his Pa ever this angry, but when he was, he had a strength that was near impossible to match.

"Ben please." Catherine put her hand on Ben's arm. She saw the anger on his face, the rage.

Ben's gaze dropped from Irving and his eyes softened, turning to look at Catherine, and released his grip on Irving. Irving coughed and sputtered while he straightened his shirt and coat.

Picking up his hat off the floor, Ben dusted it off and put it back on. He took Catherine's offered hand and led her outside with his son following closely behind.

"This isn't the end of this!" Irving shouted at them.

The familiar scent of pipe tobacco wafted through the cracked open window in her bedroom. So, I'm not the only one that can't sleep. She rose from bed and donned her robe and threw a blanket over her shoulders. Tiptoeing outside, so as not to disturb anyone else's rest, she found Ben leaning up against a beam, looking up at the stars and watched him blow out a smoke ring from his pipe. Catherine looked at him, for a moment she thought of her hands on his strong bare back. She had not forgotten about what they had shared that afternoon, but what had happened that evening with Danny Irving had taken up most of her thoughts and nightmares for the past several days. And the encounter with Danny Irving's father yesterday had certainly not helped matters. She remembered one other time that she had seen Ben filled with rage, the night at the logging camp and how he had frightened her. But yesterday, when Ben's rage peaked at Tom Irving, she hadn't been frightened of Ben. She had understood, it came from deep inside from a love so strong that he would protect at any cost.

Ben turned at hearing a plank creak and he put out his hand to Catherine to come join him. He put his arm around her and kissed the top of her auburn hair. They hadn't had any time alone since the incident in town yesterday with Tom Irving and he relished this quiet time with her. He was troubled though by what she had seen, he had nearly lost control with Irving, something that the woman he loved should never see but now, she had seen it twice. His thoughts were also on Tom Irving, he had talked briefly to his sons about it. Tom Irving's holdings were vast, he had an empire to be sure, one that was spread out and diversified. Ben had forged an empire from the wilderness and although he could nearly rival Tom in wealth, he wasn't as diversified and that concerned him. His four main focuses were lumber, cattle, mining and horses. If Irving wanted to focus in on one or two of the Ponderosa's businesses, he could cause a lot of trouble for them.

Paramount on his mind though, was the woman in his arms. She had come far too close to dying, the idea of losing her was something he could not bear. He knew grief and mourning all too well and he had no intention of making them bedfellows again. Someday, the reins of the Ponderosa would rest in the hands of his sons completely, but Catherine would be with him till the end of his days and he would use any means necessary to ensure it. He drew her just a bit closer to him.

"You're troubled." She whispered.

Ben pulled the pipe from his lips. "No, now whatever gave you that idea."

"Oh I don't know. Maybe that it's the middle of the night and you're out here smoking your pipe, instead of upstairs sleeping, where you should be."

"Hmm. I could wonder the same thing darling. Why are you out here and not upstairs sleeping." His hand caressed her back, "I guess I do have a lot on my mind."

"What's on your mind Ben?"

"Oh…I dunno…I suppose I was wondering exactly when I can expect you to be my bride?" He grinned at her, thinking of how she had 'soon' to Roy and how much he wanted every morning to be like the one when he'd fallen asleep reading to her and woken up with Catherine in his arms. He wanted that every day. "I was thinking…maybe you were right, we do need a few weeks and you can have the biggest wedding this Nevada territory has ever seen!" He looked down and she was shaking her head. "No?"

"No. I don't want the biggest wedding in the territory. I just want you and the people that mean the most to us. Your sons, Paul and Martha, Roy. And Ben, could we include the children from school and their parents?"

"Of course we can my love. Anything you want." Ben turned and moved his arms around her waist. "Now, what about after the wedding? You know the part where we go on a honeymoon?" A honeymoon was something that life had not afforded him with his three past wives, but now his life was such that one could be afforded and his sons could well handle the business in his absence, it was an opportunity he didn't want to miss out on. "We could go anywhere you want, San Francisco, Denver…you name it. But I must be honest, what I would like most is time alone with you, not a soul around for miles. Just you and I, a small place by a lake and no one else."

"Oh I don't know Ben, I've never been to San Francisco." She was enjoying a minute to tease him but she knew which idea had the most appeal to her. "But having you all to myself? I wouldn't have to share you with anyone? Yes I think that's my choice too."

Ben put a finger under her chin and Catherine stood up on her toes to receive his kiss. It had started as a chaste kiss but their desire for one another took hold and their kiss deepened, Ben's lips were so wanting of her and she found her knees weakening at the pressure of his mouth on hers. "Soon," he whispered huskily when their kiss ended, "we must marry soon."

Morning found them all at the table together. Catherine was going over a few things with Adam that she wanted to be sure he discussed in class. Ben sipped on his coffee and enjoyed the conversation between the two of them. His eldest son seemed to enjoy the more intellectual conversations that he had with Catherine. He had, on many occasions, gotten into some very deep conversations with Adam over a good game of chess but he thought that Adam was relishing having a fresh viewpoint in his midst. They were animatedly discussing President Lincoln and the Emancipation Proclamation and he could see that both of them were enjoying the discussion a great deal. Joe and Hoss stayed out of it, they were more concerned with the daily business of running the ranch and what needed to be done.

The table silenced when Catherine had announced her intentions to return to teaching on Monday until they could find a suitable replacement for her after the wedding.

"Catherine, that's wonderful." Ben took her hand.

"Well now, I guess I'm out of a job!" Adam chuckled. He almost hated to admit it, but he was very much enjoying teaching.

"I do need someone to cover the position while your Father and I are on our honeymoon." Catherine quickly added.

"Honeymoon? Where are you two going?" Joe asked.

"How long ya gonna be gone Pa?" Hoss chimed in as well.

"Oh well now, the honeymoon is a surprise and the how long, we haven't decided on that yet."

"I've been trying to get that out of him all morning but to no avail. If any of you three find out, let me know!" She got up from the table and pushed her chair back in. "I'll be back downstairs in a few moments." Ben pulled her hand down and put a kiss on her cheek.

"I'd better get going. Don't want to keep the children waiting." Adam left the table and was soon followed by Joe out to the barn to saddle their horses.

"I best get to those books. Paperwork won't write itself." Ben patted his mouth with his napkin and started to get up from the table.

"Pa?" Hoss fiddled with his fork. "Could I talk to ya?"

Ben saw his son's nervousness and sat back down. "What's on your mind son?"

"I sorta wanted to talk to ya 'bout Mercury." He looked down at his empty plate, hoping his Pa wouldn't be upset with his idea.

"Mercury? Did you find a buyer for him? That's the finest Morgan I've ever seen Hoss, you did an excellent job training him. You should be mighty proud."

"No sir, not a buyer exactly. I was sorta thinkin'. Cat needs a horse now and ya said she likes to ride like the wind. I figure Mercury would be jest the right horse for her."

"Hoss…that's a mighty generous thought. But I don't know. Mercury is fast, one of the fastest horses I've seen. Might be too fast for her." He shook his head. "Too fast, too dangerous."

Hoss had been wanting to say something to his Pa, since the day after Catherine had been hurt. He'd seen how he'd changed some since she'd been hurt and he thought it was maybe starting to wear on Cat too. "Pa, ya know I 'member you said somethin' bout how ya loved Cat's spirit."

"Yes, that's one of the things I love the most about her. Hoss, what has that got to do with Mercury?"

"Jest thinking Pa, that's what I love best 'bout Mercury. Sometimes when ya train a horse, rein it in, it loses its spirit, some men rein those horses in too much and they get like shadows of what they used ta be. But Mercury still has that fire in his belly, that spirit, guess that's why I like that one so much."

Ben rolled his eyes, "Hoss are you comparing Catherine to a horse?"

"No! No, course not Pa….guess what I'm trying ta say is don't rein her in so much thatcha break what ya love the most."

Ben froze, looking at his son and thinking over his words. He was right, "when did you get to be so wise Son?"

Catherine came back downstairs and Ben bellowed across the room at her. "Go put your riding clothes on, we're going out!"

"You bring over Catherine's saddle Hoss?"

"Yessir."

"Well…what are you waiting for? Saddle up Buck and Mercury!"

Hoss grinned broadly. "Yessir!"

Catherine made another the trip down the stairs, this time in her black riding pants and a blue blouse. Despite his best efforts not to stare, he couldn't help himself. He'd seen her in those riding pants once before and the way it hugged her small curves gave him pause. His gaze was not lost on her. "I take it this outfit is alright? Or, are you going to yell for me to go back upstairs and change again."

He met her on the bottom step, "No I won't send you back upstairs. Besides, you look lovely." He grinned sheepishly at her. "I just thought a ride would be good this morning. Winter will be here before you know it." Holding out his arm to her, she laced her arm in his, wondering why he was making such a fuss.

He led her out the front door and Hoss was waiting for him, fidgeting nervously and holding the reins of Buck and Mercury. Her breath caught in her throat at the beautiful and tall Morgan horse wearing her saddle. She went right to him and stroked his silver mane.

"Oh he's beautiful Hoss! And so tall, I don't think I've ever ridden a horse this tall before."

"Yes'm Cat, he's a solid 16 hands. Kinda tall for a Morgan." Hoss stood just a bit taller himself, enjoying Catherine's admiration of Mercury. "Reckon ya never seen a Silver Dapple Morgan neither."

"No I haven't. He's stunning." She ran her hands against the black coat, checking out his structure and the bit of silver dappling on his hind quarters and the silver tail. She put her arm around the horse's head and leaned her head against his. "What's his name Hoss?"

"This here is Mercury, raised him and trained him myself."

"Now Catherine, if he's too big, we can pick out a much gentler horse for you." Ben added in quickly.

"Pa." Hoss rolled his eyes, "let her decide."

"No, you're not big, are you Mercury?" Catherine smiled as Mercury raised up his head as though in response to her. "Are you sure it's alright for me to ride him today Hoss?"

"Yeah, actually…ummm…Cat..I sorta thought ya might wanna keep him as your own."

Her eyes lit up. "Keep him?"

"Well seein' as how you're part of the family and all now, well gonna be real soon. Kinda thought he'd be a good present for ya."

Catherine threw her arms around Hoss's neck and planted a big kiss on his cheek, causing his face to flush bright red. "Hoss, are you sure? He's so beautiful!"

"Shucks Cat!" He exclaimed. "Yeah I'm sure. Pa tells me your real good with horses. Mercury's a good one, he'll treat ya right and he's fast too."

Ben grimaced at Hoss telling her how fast the horse was. But his son had been right, he couldn't keep trying to overprotect her, she was an excellent horsewoman that loved to ride like the wind. The first time he'd seen her on horseback, she had taken his breath away, the way she flew across the land, how beautiful and happy she looked.

"Hoss, this is the best present ever!" She turned and saw Ben's worried expression. "Except for my ring, of course."

Ben laughed, "of course." He folded his arms and stared at the two of them. "Well, what are we waiting for, get up on that giant and let's ride!"

Hoss watched proudly as his Pa and Cat left the ranch. She'd taken to Mercury right away, just as he thought she might. He almost wished he could be there to watch her take on his Pa on a race, he had a feeling that Mercury with his strong long legs and a light rider, would easily win against Pa and Buck any day.

After an hour of Ben leading them both with a gentle trot, Catherine had enough and was nearly falling asleep in the saddle. "Ben? See that tree up on the hill over there?"

He turned to take a look. "Yes. What of it?"

"Last one there has to take care of the horses when we get back!" Catherine gave Mercury a nudge and just as she had hoped, he had taken off with her. "C'mon boy, let's show him what you got!"

"Hey! Catherine!" He spurred Buck, not sure whether he was annoyed by her taking off like that or enjoying the view of her out in front of him. He headed up the hill, trying to catch up with her, but Buck was no match for that long-legged Morgan. When he reached her at the tree, she was laughing and breathing heavily. He dismounted and went to her, her hands grasped his shoulders as he lifted her by the waist from Mercury. "Catherine, you really shouldn't…."

She slid her arms around his neck. "Kiss me."

"What?" Ben put his hands on his hips, trying to resist her. "Now Catherine, I was trying to tell you that you should be more careful, you don't know this land the way that I do."

Catherine stood up on her toes, bringing her mouth close to his. "Ben, you could get yourself all worked up or you could just be quiet and kiss me. It's your choice."

"Awww dammit." He pulled her close and his mouth met hers in a bruising kiss. Her lips parted eagerly against his, wanting more of him. Ben pulled her in tighter till every inch of her body melded against his. They separated their lips only to catch their breaths. Her chest was heaving against his. "You make it impossible for me to stay angry with you." He whispered.

"Good, I don't want either of us to ever be angry with each other for long. Promise me that."

He buried his face in her neck, placing hard kisses on the curve of her neck. "I promise."

It was near dark before they headed back to the ranch and the temperature was falling quickly. When they rode into the courtyard, they found all three of Ben's sons saddling up their horses. He also saw Zeke, one of the foremen at his silver mine.

"Zeke. Boys, what's going on?" He asked, Ben was instantly worried by the expression of his sons. The worry on their faces was evident.

"Pa." Adam started. "It's the silver mine, there's been an explosion."

Catherine reached over and put her hand on Ben's. "Explosion?" Ben asked, directing his question to Zeke. "I don't recall any orders for dynamite."

"There wasn't Mr. Cartwright. We didn't order any. But we got an explosion. There's at least six men trapped in the mine, maybe more and several hurt."

His face darkened with a thousand questions. "Let's get up there! Catherine you stay here, I'll be back as soon as I can."

"Ben! I'm going with you, I can help the men that are hurt."

"She's right Pa." Hoss agreed. "Reckon it'll take an extra couple hours ta get Doc Martin, those men need help right now."

The mine would be about the last place that he would envision Catherine at, but again, his son was right. Catherine had the medical skills and she was needed. "Alright, you just make sure you stay way back, you hear me?"

"I will Ben."

"C'mon." Adam said, "those men have already been trapped for several hours, we can't waste anymore time!"

"We'll rest later Mercury." She patted her horse's mane.

"Joseph, head to town. We might yet still need Doc Martin and a few more men for digging."

"But Pa!" Joe wanted to head straight to the mine.

"No arguments. Get going!" They headed for the mine, Ben's head filled again with so many questions. If they weren't dynamiting, how could there have been an explosion? Gas? Did they hit a vein of natural gases? Who was trapped? Were they still alive? They repeated in his head as they rode up to the mine in the dark and he prayed that everyone trapped would survive.

**Philip Deidesheimer**

It was chaos at the mine when the Cartwrights and Catherine arrived on scene. Dozens of men scurrying about like frantic mice without direction of any kind. Ben took control of the situation as he dismounted from his horse. Barking orders and forming teams of men for the work ahead of them. His deep baritone voice and strong stance, left no question as to who was in charge. Adam and Hoss followed their Pa's direction and each took leadership of a team that would work together to dig out the half dozen men trapped behind a wall of rock and dirt. They were armed with pick axes, shovels and their bare hands, careful of the walls, not wanting to cause any further cave ins. Ben had seriously been considering giving up the mining aspect of the business, even with Philip Deisheimer's honeycomb, the need to go deeper into the depths of the mountains had created more risk, risk he was unwilling to take with men, no amount of silver was worth the lives of men and their families.

Catherine had no trouble finding the injured, they were lying on cots and on the grounds with raggedy blankets beneath them, there were so many. She could see that many injured had superficial wounds but there were some that had injuries that could easily be life threatening. She moved to attend to them and found herself blocked by one of the foremans and he would not budge. He made the mistake of telling her it was no place for a woman.

Politeness, was the first tactic. "Please, I'm here to help the men, they need my care." She told the foreman in the gentlest of voices.

"Ma'am, I'm waiting on a real doctor. Doc Martin. Why don't ya just go and have a seat with da women waiting for their men to come outta the mine. Ain't no woman, gonna play doctor with my men."

The hairs on the back of her neck stood up and her heart rate increased. "Mister, if you don't step aside now, some of those men could die and their blood will be on your hands!" She demanded and then tried to push past the foreman, but he refused to give an inch. "Darn you! Let me help them!"

From behind her, the deep authoritative voice of her love took control. "Is there a problem here?" Ben asked, demanded.

"Oh Misser Cartwright, this woman here is trying to get ta the men. I done told her this is no place for a woman, but she won' listen ta me!" Shane McGee told him, confident that Mr. Cartwright would put the young woman in her place.

"This woman," Ben crossed his arms, "happens to have better doctoring skills than most docs I've seen and you will allow her access to the men."

"But that ain't proper!" Mcgee protested.

"McGee, I decide around here what's proper and what's not. Let her through." Ben's voice left no room for questioning, he wouldn't allow it. The mine was his and his responsibility. He was the fairest that any of the men had worked for but they also knew he was not one to cross.

"Yessir." McGee stepped aside.

Before she could take a step, Ben's hand gripped her arm and he gave the top of her head a quick buss. In a way, he agreed with McGee, this was no place for a woman. But here at the mine he could keep a watchful eye to her and here at the mine, he knew that she was more than capable of helping the injured. He'd seen the tender way she had doctored Joe, the way she cared for the injured. He needed her here. He released his hold on her arm and she sprinted towards the one that she thought needed the most attention.

"McGee." Ben addressed the older foreman. "She's gonna be a Cartwright soon. Mrs. Ben Cartwright. Best get that through your head. She is to receive the same respect that you would give me. Understood?"

"Yessir!" McGee hustled to catch up with Catherine as she began to check on the injured men. "I'm sorry Missus Cartwright! Whatcha need?"

Grinning to herself slightly, she didn't correct him on what he had called her. She rather liked the sound of it, Missus Cartwright. "I need any medical supplies you got. Bandages, clean cloths, medicine. I need lots of clean water and all the whiskey or hard liquor you got."

McGee swallowed hard. "All the whiskey ma'am?"

"Every drop. Don't hold back on me McGee. These men are depending on you!"

Ben worked hard to gather as much information as he could from the foreman and miners on the explosion. How far back the trapped men were, how many exactly and the events that led up to the explosion. But he still remained unsure as to the cause, what had happened. They hadn't been dynamiting to break a new tunnel. Was it a vein of gas that had been accidentally tapped into, an accident or a deliberate act? He sought to find answers but none were forthcoming. Without knowing the cause, a great deal of precautions had to be taken. If a vein of natural gas had accidentally been tapped then any flame from a lantern or otherwise could prove to be catastrophic in the mine.

Once Adam and Hoss's teams had worked far enough inside that the light of the moon could no longer be seen than the shovels and pick axes had to be abandoned. A shovel or pick axe, without any light, could injure or kill any of the men that had been trapped without their rescuers knowing. It became slow and tedious hand work, scraping and pulling back rock to reach the trapped men.

Ben joined in the slow process after he had settled matters with McGee and Catherine. Getting his hands dirty was one of the many things his employees had admired about Ben Cartwright. He was a man that didn't just sit behind a desk, when the situation called for it, he was side by side with the men working just as hard or harder then the rest of them. One of the reasons that many of his workers admired him so much. Those that worked on the Ponderosa, whether it be at the mines, with the cattle or at the logging camp, had a deep seated respect for their employer.

One of the miners suggested to the Cartwrights that they should stop digging by hand and wait till the light of morning. But Ben and his sons were of one accord, the men trapped had little time left and slow progress was better than none at all. They would continue working.

First light of day brought Joe and Doc Martin to the mining site and to a gruesome discovery in the mine that none of the men would soon forget.

"Good you're here son." Ben put a tired arm around Joe's shoulders. "Where's Paul?"

"He's already over with Catherine, went right to work." His two brothers and his Pa all look exhausted. "Hey why don't some of you take a break and get something to eat. Let's bring in some men that haven't been in here and awhile." Joe didn't wait for an answer, instead he went outside and gathered some men together that had been taking a breather, he had a somewhat fresh team of men ready in just a short time.

"Adam, Hoss, take some of the men and go get something to eat. None of you will be any good if you don't get some food in your stomachs."

"Same goes for you Pa." Adam told him.

Ben didn't want to stop, he furrowed his brow, but his empty stomach and a solid fourteen hours of working in the dust and darkness had begun to take its toll on him. A few minutes, he'd rest for a few minutes. He figured there was also a young woman that had been working all night as well and it would give him a chance to make sure that she took some time to rest as well. Now that Paul was here, it would be easier to convince her to take a break, at least he hoped so.

Adam was just about to leave when one of the men took a step back from the pile of dirt and rock, his mouth agape. Adam moved in closer to take a look. "Pa!" Adam shouted.

In front of them, they found a half buried and partially crushed head of one of the miners. Joe turned away quickly, gagging at the sight.

Ben shouted at the men to keep working and get the poor soul out of there. Don't let this be the fate of anymore men Lord, he lifted a silent prayer. Let the rest be alive! "Hoss, get some blankets, I don't want anyone else to see this! He was painfully aware that some of the wives and families of the workers were gathering on the outskirts of the camp, waiting for news.

What was left of the miners body, what at least was recognizable was dug out and wrapped in blankets quietly. No one at first glance was able to identify him, his face was gone.

She was relieved to see Paul arrive and she stopped tending to the men for a moment to fill him in on the injuries. From the corner of her eye, she caught sight of one of the men trying to move an injured miner. "No! Don't move him!" She raced over there but a moment too late. The man had a large wound in his thigh, rock that had cut into him when the explosion happened had left a green break and a shattered bone. As she feared could happen, when he was moved, something sharp struck the man's femoral artery and blood sprayed out from his wound, soaking her top. She put her hands on the wound, applying hard pressure to try and stop the bleeding. Paul applied a tourniquet quickly.

"Misser Cartwright," The young man groaned, overwhelmed by the pain and he was dizzy as well. His voice, slurred and soft was difficult to understand.

"Shhh," Catherine leaned over him and spoke in a sweet voice. "Don't try to talk, just rest."

His pallor was graying and when she put her head to his chest, she could only faintly hear his heartbeat.

"We're losing him." Paul whispered. "You know there's only one thing that can be done at this point."

She nodded, feeling sick to her stomach. Paul left to go to his carriage and get the necessary equipment to amputate the man's leg.

"Gott..gotta talk…Misser..Cart..wright."

Catherine leaned over again, straining to hear him.

"Not acc..ccident…saw it…he had dyna..mite…."

Catherine stood straight up. "McGee," She shouted, "Get Mister Cartwright, hurry!"

"Which one, ma'am?"

"Any of them, hurry!" She feared that the young man before her didn't have much time left. "Tell me your name." She whispered to him, holding his hand.

"Teddy. Teddy Hoover….Annie…she here?" Blood was in the corner of his mouth and Catherine wiped it away. "Annie…"

"Is Annie your wife?"

"Yeah…dyna..mite!" He strained to get up but was far too weak.

"Don't shhh…I'll find Annie. You said dynamite Teddy, do you remember anything else?" She tried to get his attention again but he was no longer responding. "Teddy?" He let out a scream that ran right up her spine and gurgling sounds came from his mouth. "Teddy?!" He was gone, his wide open death eyes staring up at her. Catherine put her hand over his eyes and softly shut the lids. She looked up at Paul as he came back to the cot, "you're too late." She released her hand from Teddy's and stepped back. "He's so young. Not much more than a boy."

McGee had found Hoss first and Hoss went to Cat to find out what was wrong, stepping around several injured or resting men to get to her. He saw the young man on the cot. "Teddy. Oh no."

"You know…knew him Hoss?" She asked.

"Yeah, went to the wedding. He and Annie, they done had a lil' one a few months back."

"A baby? Oh no…"

"Is that why ya wanted ta see me Cat? Cause of Teddy?" Hoss asked.

She nodded, still looking down at Teddy's body. She was going to have to be the one to tell his wife, it was her responsibility she felt. "Hoss, Teddy said the explosion wasn't an accident."

"What?! You sure?"

"Yes I'm sure. He said he saw dynamite. Said it several times and I tried to get him to say more but he, well, he didn't last long enough to tell me anymore. I'm sorry." Hanging her head, she could feel the tears coming and tried to stop them, exhaustion was sweeping over her. "I tried to save him Hoss."

For as big as he was, he was also the gentlest of men and he put his hand on her shoulder softly. "I know ya did. Cat when's the last time you ate or sat down?" She looked to him like she could pass out at any moment and the blood that was beginning to dry all over her top, she needed a rest and he wasn't going to take no for an answer. "Doc, ya figure ya can do without Catherine for a bit?"

Paul nodded, "looks like she had things pretty well under control before I even got here."

"C'mon Cat. Follow me." Hoss put his hand on her back and led her away from Teddy Hoover's body and the rest of the men that had been hurt. "McGee, lemme use your tent for a bit and ya got a clean shirt?"

"Yeah, yeah Hoss, there's two clean ones in the tent hanging over the beam. There's a wash basin in there too ma'am if ya wanna clean yourself up some."

She looked down at her blouse, caked with blood, she could feel the stickiness on her skin as well, beneath her top. And the scent, the scent of blood was unmistakable. "Thank you." She answered in a small voice. She hadn't truly noticed how long it had been since she ate or rested until she had walked away from the ones she was helping. Now her feet were dragging and her shoulders slumped with exhaustion. "If I'm going to meet Annie Hoover, tell her what happened, I can't let her see me like this."

"First things first." Hoss stopped in front of McGee's wooden floored tent and opened the flap. "Go on now and then we're gonna get ya somethin' to eat. I'll be right out here, make sure ya have your privacy."

She peeled off her top and the camisole underneath, the blood sticking to her and she shuddered. Scrubbing at herself with an old cloth and water, the skin on her chest was red by the time she rubbed off all the caked on blood. McGee's shirt was big enough to wear as a dress, but it was clean. She did up a couple buttons then sat down on McGee's cot, thinking of the young man and how he had died in her care. A young wife was now a widow and a baby had no father. A small knock on the frame of the tent and she tried to pull herself out of her thoughts and started buttoning up the large shirt. "Ben." She was relieved to see his head pop in the flap opening.

Going inside, he saw the bloody wash basin and her blouse and camisole in a heap. With a heavy sigh, he put his arms around her, kissing the top of her head. The comfort and love of their embrace was needed by both of them, if only for a moment, they made the rest of the world disappear. Ben released her to do up the buttons on the shirt.

"It's a little big on you." He grinned slightly as he did up the last button.

"Yes I guess it is, mine was ruined. I need to go tell a wife that she's a widow now."

Ben's small grin disappeared. "Widow? Who?"

"His name was Teddy Hoover, he bled to death, I couldn't stop it."

"Teddy? I knew his parents, he was Hoss's age."

Catherine told him of how Teddy had died and what the young man said about it being no accident. Ben's anger was beginning a slow boil, he had suspected from the beginning that it was deliberate and he had one man on his mind. When this was over, he was going to go see Tom Irving. "C'mon now, you can talk to Annie Hoover after you eat something." His anger would have to wait though, there were still at least five men trapped inside that mine. He went to the pot over the fire and ladled out two plates of stew, rabbit, not very tasty but it settled the hole in the pit of both of their stomachs. "Better?" He asked.

"Mmmm hmmm."

"Mister Cartwright! Mister Cartwright!" One of the miners ran over to where they sat by the fire. "Tapping, your son Joe, he heard tapping! Those men is still alive in there!"

"Go on." She told him. She kissed his rough cheek and watched him head off with the miner. She had her own work to do and one that she dreaded. Not sure if Annie Hoover was up at the mine yet, waiting with the other women, but she had to go look for her at least. If she wasn't there, then when all of this was over, she would go to see her. She had a duty to.

Ben and Hoss ran inside the mine, anxious for good news.

"Pa! We're breaking through! There's tapping sounds. We're getting close!" Adam spoke fast but his voice was filled with hope. "Pa, maybe the rest of them survived, only lost one man."

"One man is still too many Adam." Ben replied solemnly, "and it's two men. One died while Catherine was trying to save him. Teddy Hoover."

"I'm sorry Pa, didn't mean anything by it."

"I know you didn't Adam. Well come on now, let's get those men out!"

Later in the day, Catherine put her arms around Annie Hoover and held her as she sobbed uncontrollably. Annie called her husband's name over and over. The mine whistle screeched and the sounds of celebration, hooting and hollering carried over the camp. Excited men, women and children ran as Ben and his sons emerged with the trapped miners. Save for a few with relatively minor injuries, all was well and they would go home to their families that night. All except for the still unknown miner that had perished in the explosion and Teddy Hoover, those men would never go home again. Ben was positively euphoric over finding them and he smiled broadly at all the celebration. But his elation ended when he saw Catherine cradling a sobbing Annie Hoover in her arms.

While his sons headed home and no doubt were arguing over whom first got to take a hot bath, Ben and Catherine saw to Annie Hoover and her baby. They had taken them over to her sister's house, one of the small homesteads that bordered near the north edge of the Ponderosa. Annie had lashed out at him, yelling angrily at Ben for his mine and the death of her husband. He knew that she had lashed out in pain and grief, he'd done nothing when she had balled up her fists and hit his chest. He knew grief and anger and his shoulders were broad enough to take the weight of her pained outburst. Catherine and the young woman's sister sought to console Annie but it had done no good until the baby had begun to cry and Annie was able to focus on her little one. Ben and Catherine left with a promise to return over the next few days and that he would take care of any of the burial expenses.

On the way home, his repeated attempts to draw Catherine into conversation had failed. Not a word was spoken by her on the way home and it bothered him immensely. Had he been wrong in letting her come to the mining camp? His first instinct had been for her to stay at the ranch and now he wondered if he had made a grave and selfish mistake in utilizing her medical skills at the mine, it may have been too much for her to take. He gripped the reins so tightly that his knuckles turned white.

The dirt of the mine had somehow found its way even beneath his clothes and he was anxious to get cleaned up once they reached home. He waited for Catherine, patiently, to finish he'd almost forgotten how long a woman could take in a bath. For a moment, his thoughts went to being in there with her, washing her hair and letting soapy hands roam over her body. Those thoughts were pushed aside, it was not the time for that, he thrust his hands in his pockets and paced the hallway. Fortunately Hop Sing had kept lots of hot water going and after Catherine had finished, he was already standing at the door next to Ben, waiting to add fresh water for him. He had hoped for another moment alone with her, to draw her out and get her to talk to him, but with Hop Sing there, it wasn't possible. "Catherine." He said as she opened the door. "I'll be in to see you shortly, soon as I get all this dirt off of me." She had nodded simply, without so much as a glance up at him and he watched her go to her room and close the door behind her.

He shivered a little getting out of the tub, the cold air hitting his skin, bringing goose bumps. He donned his heavier nightshirt and burgundy robe, tying it lightly around his waist and ran a comb through his silver hair. Upon setting the comb down on the shelf, he saw the bottle of lavender water. Gently picking up the blue glass bottle, he smiled wistfully at finding a woman's thing in what had been a masculine bath for years. Ben removed the tiny cork and brought the bottle up, the strong scent of lavender assaulted his nostrils and he wrinkled up his nose. It was a scent that Catherine wore very sparingly and he wasn't prepared for the pure bottled strength of it, as the fragrance dissipated it became more like her scent in the room.

A small amount of light shone through the door to her room and he tapped his knuckles lightly against the door. "Catherine, may I come in?"

"Come in Ben." She lay in bed with the covers up around her, attempting to focus on her book, but all she could think of was recent events. The explosion at the mine, Annie Hoover, Danny Irving trying to kill her; all jumbled up thoughts in her head. She needed a ride, to get out by herself and clear her head.

"Well now, you look all nice and comfy." He closed the door behind him and went to sit on the edge of her bed. "Reading Walden again I see." Ben put his calloused hand tenderly on her cheek. "It was pretty rough out there."

With a nod, she put the book down on the nightstand and her hand went over his. "I can't seem to wrap my mind around everything that's happened Ben, it's overwhelming."

Ben lowered his head for a moment, she had been through a lot, they both had. He was still waking up in a sweat, seeing Danny's hands around her neck every night in his dreams. Unbeknownst to anyone but himself, when the nightmare awoke him, he would rise from bed, tread softly the down the hall to her door and open it just enough so that he could see her sleeping, safe and warm.

"I want to take Mercury out for a ride in the morning."

Her voice jarred him from his thoughts. "Catherine, I have to go into town in the morning, perhaps later in the day. Or, maybe Hoss would go for a ride with you."

Shaking her head, she took her hand off of his. "No, you don't understand. I'm going riding tomorrow, just Mercury and me. I need to get out and ride, clear my head."

"Darling, I don't think that's wise right now. When things calm down…"

"When are things going to calm down Ben? It's been one thing after the other."

His other hand went to her cheek, cupping her face in his hands. "I don't know, but soon, I'll make sure of it. I know how much you love to ride, I've watched you fly across the fields on Belle, I know how much it means to you. Be patient, everything will be all right."

Folding her hands across her chest, she glared at him. "I can handle myself. You taught me how to handle a gun. Ben, you're treating me like a child!"

Angrily, he stood up from the bed. "Then stop acting like a child!" His deep voice was loud enough for Hoss to hear him in the next room. "You know damn good and well it's for your own protection that you don't go out by yourself right now." He looked down at his robe and fiddled with the sash, regretting that he had raised his voice.

"How will you make sure that things are going to calm down soon?" She whispered and drew her knees up to her chest.

"What?"

"You said you'd make sure that everything would calm down soon. How are you going to do that?"

Ben sat down on the bed again and put his hands on her drawn up knees. "It will be."

"But how Ben? You saw the anger in Tom Irving. What if he did have something to do with the explosion? He's dangerous Ben." She searched his chocolate eyes for answers, desperately wanting everything to be over.

Large thumbs stroked her knees, "I'm going to go have a talk with Irving tomorrow."

"No Ben, please, I don't think he's the kind of man that you can reason with. And now that Danny is dead, he blames the both of us for it. Perhaps me even more. Please don't go there. He frightens me."

"Which is exactly why I don't want you riding alone right now."

Nodding in agreement, he breathed a sigh of relief when she laid her head atop his hands. "My love. My beautiful Catherine." Freeing one hand, he stroked her soft hair, "it'll be over soon and you can go out riding Mercury to your heart's delight. I might even let you win a race or two with me."

Catherine chuckled softly and lifted her head to meet his eyes. Feeling a little bold, she put her hand around his neck and drew her mouth to his, brushing his lips in a feather light kiss. Needing more, he kissed her again, arms intertwining and her knees dropped so he could pull her in closer. Their embrace had turned passionate again, he wanted her, all of her, so very much and he broke away reluctantly with a kiss on her cheek. Catherine's desire for him was just as deep and if he asked, she would give herself to him. Not out of wantonness or pure lust but a passion for the man she loved so deeply. He kissed her briefly once more before asserting that they both needed their rest and expressing their love for one another.

Catherine once more tried to put her mind on the book she'd been reading, but a large yawn and a welcome sleepiness found her and she turned down the lamp, pulling the covers tightly around her.

The smells of fresh hot coffee and bacon wafted up to her room and Catherine went downstairs, hungry for breakfast. She pulled out a chair at the table and sat down, the head chair at the table noticeably empty. Ben's three sons were already digging into breakfast and spoke quick good mornings as they ate, none of them had taken much time to eat while they were at the mine and their bellies ached for one of Hop Sing's big breakfasts. "Good morning." She smiled broadly, enjoying the scene. "Where's your Pa?"

Adam replied without a glance up from his plate, "oh he said he had some business in town that needed attending to. He'll be back this afternoon."

"Oh no…" She had hoped she had talked him out of it last night, but apparently she had been unsuccessful.

"Cat,what is it?" Hoss stopped eating and looked across the table at her.

"He's gone to see Tom Irving."

Adam threw his napkin down on the table, he had plans to go to the mine and look for evidence about the explosion but now his Pa had gone off on his own to see the very man they all suspected of causing the death of two men at the mine. He was angry and he shoved his chair back hard when he stood up. "Hoss, Joe…looks like we're gonna go to town." His brothers followed him and she watched as they put on their gun belts and hats.

Hoss gripped her arm, "don't worry Cat. We'll be back soon as we can."

"I'm going with you." She planted her feet, knowing that she was in for an argument.

"No. You're not, Cat." Adam put her hand on his shoulder. "We'll be back soon as we can. You need to stay here."

Going to Ben's desk, she opened the drawer and pulled out the gun he had taught her to shoot with. "I'm going with you."

"Catherine," Joe gulped, "Pa would have our hides if ya came to town with us!"

"Well," Cat put her finger to her chin. "Then which one of you wants to stay here and babysit me? You know he didn't want me left alone either." The brothers looked at one another sullenly and she folded her arms, adding one last bit. "You can either have your Pa mad at you for bringing me into town or mad at you for leaving me alone, take your pick."

"Dagnabbit Cat! Why ya gotta be so dang stubborn!" Hoss exclaimed.

Adam put his hands on his hips and sighed, "because she's practically a Cartwright already, that's why." Adam took her gun from her to check it and then handed it back to her. "C'mon now, let's go."

Smirking just a little, she grabbed her coat and headed out with Ben's sons towards Virginia City and Tom Irving's office. On the ride there, Hoss found out just how fast she and Mercury together, he finally understood his Pa's fears over her riding. The woman liked to fly on that horse at break neck speeds and it was difficult for all the other horses, save for Joe and Cochise, to keep up with her.

When they drew closer to town, they all slowed down, riding arms-length from each other, with Adam and Hoss flanking Catherine. If there was any doubt in town about Catherine becoming a part of the family , there would certainly be no doubt now. Perhaps, Adam thought, this was exactly what Mr. Irving needed to see. All of them together, a family unified.

"Break down my door, will you?" Tom Irving thrust his fist into Ben's chest as two men held Ben's arms. "You're a throwback Ben Cartwright. The days of cowboys are numbered, its businessmen like me that will rule this land, not old cowpokes like you!"

It was difficult to catch his breath, "you stay away from her and you stay away from the Ponderosa!"

Tom Irving nodded and the two men released their grip on Ben, watching him slide to the ground from the beating he had received. Tom Irving planted his boot in Ben's side. Tom Irving knelt down beside Ben's prone body and hissed in his ear, "you listen to me Cartwright, you killed my son. I am going to ruin you, if it's the last thing I do, I will ruin the both of you!" Irving turned to his men. "Get him outta here, throw him on the street."

As they lifted him to his feet, Ben winced in pain but managed to steel his gaze at Irving, "you leave her outta this Irving. This is between you and me."

"You might've been the one that pulled the trigger, but she lured him there, lured him to his death!"

"You're as twisted as your son was!" With that, the two hired thugs threw him out of the door and onto the street just as his sons and Catherine approached.

The brothers dismounted and drew their guns around their father, pointing them at Irving and his men. "That's enough!" Adam shouted.

Catherine dismounted and went to Ben as he struggled to stand up, his face filled with surprise when she put his arm around his shoulders. He doubled over slightly, holding his ribs. "I'm alright, I'm alright." He told her but she wasn't listening.

"No trouble boys!" Irving said. "Best you teach your Pa to control that temper of his, could get him into real trouble one of these days."

"You mind what I said Tom, you stay away!" Ben pointed his finger at him.

Hoss put his gun away and went to take the weight of his Pa off of Catherine.

"We need to get to Paul's office, I want to check his ribs Hoss."

"Yeah Cat. Pa what ya go and do a thing like that fer? I mean me and Lil' Joe, maybe even Adam sometimes gotta blow off some steam. But you Pa?"

Ben grinned slightly through the pain, "guess the tree doesn't fall too far from the apples, Hoss."

Catherine laughed and after a moment, his three sons chuckled as well.

Joe followed with them towards Doc Martin's office but Adam lingered behind. "You know Mr. Irving, I think I know what your problem is." Adam's voice was cold and deep.

"Oh and what's my problem young man?" Irving sneered.

"Jealousy. Because my Father has what you've never really had."

"Jealousy?!" He couldn't help but guffaw at the eldest Cartwright son. "I have more money and more interests than your Pa will ever have, he's nothing but a backwoods rancher with delusions of glory!"

"Oh you might be right about the money, Mr. Irving, but you see my Pa and well, all of us backwoods Cartwrights think that money is a far sight less important than the support of a family. And family, now that's something you never really had, not in the truest sense of the word. Catherine Timmons is going to be a Cartwright soon and there's not a damn thing you can do about it. That's what you're jealous of, Mr. Irving, family." Adam tipped his hat and walked away.

Tom Irving went back inside his office. "That's where you're wrong Adam," he said under his breath, "there isn't going to be any wedding."

"Get him on the table there," Paul pointed. "I'll be in as soon as I can, setting a broken arm right now."

"That's alright Paul," Catherine told him. "I just need to check his ribs, I think he took a couple good hits to his ribcage." She and Hoss got Ben up on the examining table and lying down, despite all of Ben's protests. "Hoss, why don't you go out to the waiting room? I won't take long, I promise. Besides, I'll call you if he gives me any trouble." She winked at Hoss.

"Yes'm!" He grinned.

Catherine closed the door. "What were you thinking Ben?" She shook her head while undoing the buttons on his shirt.

"I guess I wasn't really thinking Catherine. I wanted him to leave us alone, to leave the Ponderosa alone and to leave you alone."

"Did you really kick his door down?" She pulled open his shirt to check his ribs and make sure that none were cracked or broken.

"Yeah, I s'pose I did."

Catherine leaned over slightly and whispered, "I would've loved to have seen the look on his face when you did that!"

Ben chuckled, surprised by her comment.

She stood back up and ran her hands along his ribs, her fingers dancing across his chest and entwining in his chest hair. He found himself closing his eyes at her gentleness as she traced each rib. "Paul never checked ribs like that after a beating."

"Paul's not in love with you. I am." Her fingers stopped their exploration and rested on the thick fur around his belly. "Nothing's broken, thank goodness."

"Blanket," He groaned.

"Are you cold?"

"No," He was having a very physical reaction to her touch. "Just…please get a blanket." He thought of Tom Irving, cattle branding, horse thieves, every bad thought he could come up with to get rid of his reaction to her.

Catherine retrieved a blanket for him and as she laid it over him, she realized his reason for wanting it. Leaning over she brushed her lips against his, "two weeks," she whispered.

The cold winds sent colorful leaves dancing through the air as Ben drove the carriage into town shortly after sunrise. The autumn chill gave him just the right excuse to wrap an arm around Catherine and draw her close, not that he needed one, she relished the closeness they shared. He watched her break into a wide smile as the school came into sight and as they pulled up, one of her students was already there waiting for her.

Catherine pulled her shawl closer around her shoulders and Ben lifted her from the carriage, his hands wrapped firmly around her waist.

The ten year old grandson of the owner of the general store was already waiting there for her. He was one of Catherine's brightest students and she was the object of his very first childhood crush. He knew about Mrs. Timmons and Mr. Cartwright, but he didn't mind too much that they were getting married. He'd heard lots of good things about the Cartwrights and the Ponderosa and he had decided it was okay for her to marry him.

"Morning Mrs. Timmons, Mr. Cartwright!" Jeremy grinned a toothy grin, his freckled face just beaming at having Mrs. Timmons back at school. He liked the younger Mr. Cartwright okay, but Mrs. Timmons was a far sight better to look at than the eldest Cartwright son. "Glad you're back!"

"So am I Jeremy! How are you?" Catherine asked.

"Oh I'm fine, I got all the extra work done that the other Mr. Cartwright gave me."

"That's excellent Jeremy!"

"Mr. Cartwright, Gramps said to make sure that you and Mrs. Timmons come by the store later, he says he has some real nice decorations for the party after the wedding, he wants you to look at."

Ben watched Catherine's eyes light up like a captain's lamp, she was truly enjoying the planning part of the party. They had both agreed on keeping the wedding small, but the party afterwards seemed to be taking on a life of its own. He smiled, keeping one hand on her waist, "looks like we have plans later."

"Wonderful Jeremy." She thought for a moment and remembered other plans. "Ben I'm meeting Martha at the dress shop for my final fitting right after school. I'll meet you at the store after that, okay?"

With Jeremy's head turned in another direction, Ben stole a quick kiss. "That's fine, just fine." He returned to the carriage and watched Catherine go up the steps with several of the children as they arrived. A brief moment of sadness took him, for the first time he gave serious thought to the fact that she had been unable to bear children and how wonderful she was with them. She had never spoken much about it but as he watched her laughing and chatting with the children, he thought of how devastating the news must have been when she had found out. She'd make a wonderful mother, he found himself thinking as he flicked the reins and directed the carriage down the street.

As he approached the corner, he saw Tom Irving step out onto the sidewalk and light a fat cigar. He could feel Tom's eyes boring in on him. He sat up straighter and guided the carriage to Roy's office, not looking at Irving. A cup of coffee and some catching up with Roy sounded good. His sons were up at the mine, searching for clues to what had caused the explosion. All they had to go on, so far, was the words of a dead man. He prayed that they would find something that would tie Irving to the explosion, he could feel it in is gut that the man was involved. He also knew it would be exactly like trying to find the proverbial needle in the haystack. Ben could feel it in his gut that the trouble with Irving was far from over, the man had nearly said as much at their last encounter. With all of Irving's vast holdings and finances, however, it was impossible to guess what his next move would be. There was only one thing he was certain of, Catherine was well protected, Ben would not allow him get to her. And their wedding would be free from disturbances or trouble, if he had to hire one hundred men to ensure it, he would gladly do it.

The day flew by, it was rare that Ben had the opportunity to spend a casual day with friends, there was always so much work to be done. The paperwork had been caught up on, his three sons were at the mine, so instead of heading back to the ranch he had enjoyed the day with his two closest friends, Roy and Paul, while he waited to meet Catherine at the General Store. The three old friends had breakfast together, drank copious amounts of Roy's bad coffee and enjoyed a lively game of cards that had gone on much longer than he had anticipated. Ben had also endured endless amounts of good natured ribbing over his upcoming marriage and how his days of being a free man were numbered. Before he knew it, it was time to head to the store to meet Catherine.

"You're meeting her ta look at party stuff?!" Roy guffawed, he removed his hat and placed it over his chest. "You're a goner friend, my deepest condolences!"

Laughing heartily, he put his hat back on and said goodbye to Roy and Paul, heading to the store.

Catherine eyed herself in the full length mirror, turning from side to side. She was giving the seamstress, Dorothy, fits with her client's nervous fidgeting. "I don't know," Catherine sighed, "I just don't know."

"Catherine," Her older friend Martha sighed, "you look stunning! I swear Ben's not going to be able to take his eyes off of you when he sees you in that gown. What are you worried about?"

Taking in all the elements of the gown, she felt more than a little overwhelmed. The soft gold silk, the fur collar, it was all so foreign to the simpler things in life that she preferred. "I don't know, it is just so…well extravagant."

"Of course it is dear, you don't get married every day. You deserve something a little extravagant."

"Do you really think Ben will like it?"

Martha stood up and went to Catherine, standing on her toes to whisper in her ear. The look in Martha's eyes was one that Catherine well knew, she had naughtiness on her mind, Martha was capable of making Catherine blush with her candor and propensity for talking about things that happened behind closed doors. "My dear," Martha whispered, "if Ben doesn't take you into his arms the moment he sees you and carries you off to his bedroom, why I'll be quite shocked!"

The woman had done it again, Catherine's cheeks flushed bright red. "Martha!" She laughed. Catching a glance at the clock on the wall, Catherine hurriedly got down from the rise she stood on. The seamstress, had been trying to hem the gown and she nearly knocked the poor woman down in her state. "Dorothy, I'm sorry! We can finish the day after tomorrow, I need to meet Ben."

"But Mrs. Timmons," the seamstress protested, "we're running out of time!"

"I know, I know. Day after tomorrow, I promise. Martha, will you help me get out of this please?" There were so many buttons, if Martha was right, Ben would surely give up after he saw how many buttons there was on the gown.

"Don't worry, Ben will wait for you." Martha assured her while she began to undo all the buttons.

Smiling thoughtfully to herself, she replied, "yes he will, but a man like Ben shouldn't be kept waiting."

Finally back in her own clothes, she said a quick thank you to Martha for her help and started down the sidewalk to the General Store. She stopped though at the sight of the tall figure that loomed in front of her. Recognizing him as one of the men that had thrown Ben down on the street, outside of Tom Irving's office, she sidestepped to get around him.

The tall man, dressed in an ill-fitting suit that reminded her of clothes a professional gambler might wear, followed her cue and stepped in front of her. "Ya know," the man drawled as he tugged on his long mustache, "almost feel sorry for ol' man Cartwright."

The plan had been to ignore him completely, but with a cold gaze, she raised her head to look at him. "What did you say?"

"Said, I almost feel sorry for the ol' man. His life would be lots easier iffen you never had come ta Virginia City." With a sneer, he moved aside and let her pass by.

Continuing on her walk to the store, she took a backwards glance at the man, his words echoing in her head.

Young Jeremy was waiting for her by the door when she arrived and he took her hand, anxious to show her the decorations that his Gramps had found. Halfway back, she turned around and looked out the window. The tall man was standing there, looking in the window at her.

"Catherine." Ben smiled warmly and when she drew near, he put his hand on the small of her back. Her heart rate calmed and she let the feeling of his touch wash over her.

"Darling?"

"Hmmm?" Catherine looked up at Ben.

"Is everthing alright?" He asked. He had taken in her appearance, she was a little pale to him and her hands were trembling. He hadn't seen that since the trouble began with Danny Irving.

"Yes, yes I'm fine Ben."

"Problems at the dressmakers?" He asked.

The last thing she wanted to do was fan or stoke the flames between Ben and Tom Irving. Especially, not so close to the wedding. She felt she could handle any remarks. "A little, nothing serious. Everything will be fine." Turning her attention to the decorations, she pushed the man's words out of her head, at least for the time being.

Later in the evening, while Ben and Catherine enjoyed a game of checkers together, his three sons burst through the front door, hours later than they had been expected home. "You boys are late," Ben scolded slightly, "Hop Sing has some dinner in the kitchen for you."

"Sorry Pa," Adam replied, "we would've been here sooner but we had to move the cattle. Seems someone salted the North pond. It's completely unusable right now. We had to mve the cattle three miles west to get them good water."

"Salted?" Ben exclaimed. "How did that happen?" He asked, but he already had a feeling in his gut.

"Don't know fer sure Pa." Hoss added, "But it's pure saltwater now."

Ben frowned and he brought his hands together thoughtfully, "you boys go and get some dinner, we can talk about this when you don't have empty bellies."

"I think I should go to bed." Catherine spoke softly, just above a whisper.

"It's been a long day," he agreed. He walked up the stairs with her and put his arms around her in front of her door. Pressing his lips against her, he felt his desire for her grow. Unexpectedly though, she broke from his kiss.

"G'nite Ben." Catherine opened up the door to her room and went inside. Her mind filled with the salted water and the comment from the tall hired hand of Tom Irving.

Hoss had volunteered to go pick up Cat at the schoolhouse and was happy to leave the discussion at home behind him for a while. The frustration and anger had become palpable and he needed some fresh air, so the ride to Virginia City was a welcome one. School was letting out as he arrived and he found Cat in the classroom erasing the board while chatting about an assignment with one of her students.

"I'd like to go there and give him a piece of my mind!" Joe spat out angrily.

Ben slammed his fist on his desk. "No! Joseph, no matter what happens, I will not allow you or anyone else to lower themselves to his level. Is that understood?!" Ben pointed a long finger towards his youngest son.

Folding his arms in defiance, he glared back. "You did."

"That was a mistake, my going there." Joe's Pa softened his tone considerably, he knew he'd been wrong to go see Tom Irving.

"Yeah, seems like you've made a lot of mistakes lately Pa." Joe's anger over the problems they were having, took over and he was lost inside it.

"Joe, calm down." Adam tried to intervene.

"What exactly is that supposed to mean?" Ben gritted his teeth.

"I mean everything Pa! You've only known her a few months!"

Shoving back his chair, Ben stood tall, "You leave her out of this!"

"Joe, you just don't know her as well as the rest of us." Adam tried again to diffuse the situation but it was getting beyond his control.

"All I know Pa, is that we didn't have no problems like this until she got here!"

"Joseph, you take that back! None of this is her…"

"PA!"

The three men turned to find Hoss in the doorway with Catherine. Joe dropped his gaze to the floor, ashamed.

Adam sighed heavily, "oh no." He spoke under his breath.

Turning she went back out the door, her legs felt weak and her hands trembled. She grabbed hold of a beam to keep herself steady. Irving's hired hand had said much the same thing to her, his words repeated in her head and now Joe's voice was added in. If she had never come here, to Nevada, Ben would not be having any of these problems. Men had died in that mine explosion, what if those men had kicked Ben's ribs in? Her head was spinning.

"What have you done?" Ben looked to his youngest and headed outside to find Catherine.

Joe's bottom lip quivered, he had never felt so guilty. He had let his anger take hold again and he regretted it. It was true, he hadn't spent as much time with Catherine as the rest of the family. In the back of his mind, he had thought that after so many years, his mother would never be replaced, but suddenly Pa was getting married again and although he spoke of it to no one, it hurt.

Long quick strides took him to her side, she seemed so fragile leaning against one of the post beams. With the utmost of tenderness, he laid his hands on her shoulders and stroked her arms. "Catherine, he didn't mean it."

With all her thoughts still dancing in her head, she leaned back against him. He slipped his hands around her waist. "He's right Ben, you wouldn't be having all these problems if I'd never come here." Her voice cracked as she spoke.

His hands turned around to face him, he saw the wet stains of tears on her cheeks. "Maybe, maybe not. But if you hadn't come here, I would still be a lonely man, hoping and praying for you to come into my life. Catherine, these problems are nothing compared to the joy, the love you've given me." His strong arms wrapped around her, pressing her to his chest. "It's going to be alright Catherine, I swear it will be."

Ben had walked Catherine to her bedroom door, a slow lingering kiss placed on her lips before he bid her goodnight. They had spent most of the evening talking and holding hands together, at the dining room table. He could sense that there was something more to it, her hand trembled slightly in his, he hadn't felt that since Danny Irving. Try as he might though, she kept insisting that she was fine and not to worry so much. "Ben the Worrier." She had called him teasingly.

After everyone had retired for the evening, he went to his youngest son's door and knocked tentatively. "Joseph?"

"Come in Pa." Joe knew this was coming, he sat down on the bed and leaned against the footboard, just waiting for the tongue lashing he was sure he would get from his Pa. A reaming out that he knew he deserved for letting his temper and his words get out of control and get the best of him. The look on Catherine's face, Joe knew his words had hurt her and had he known she was there, he was sure he never would've spoken them.

Ben opened the door and took a long hard look at his forlorn son. Toying with the sash on his robe, he spoke in a soft deep voice, "Joseph…"

"I know, I know! I'm sorry Pa! I didn't mean it, not really. I know you love her." Joe glanced up at his father, ashamed of his actions earlier in the evening. "I didn't mean…I didn't know she was there. Is she alright?"

With an audible sigh, Ben sat down beside his youngest. Joe had been the baby of the family and Marie had spoiled him. No, that's not entirely true, he thought to himself. They had both spoiled him. His youngest son had never had to endure the hardships that his two older brothers had, he had never really known want, not as his brothers had. "She's fine. We had a long talk."

"I'm sorry Pa, I just…I got so angry at everything that's been happening!" His bottom lip quivered as he spoke.

"I know, you know sometimes I would say or think that you got your Mother's temper in you, that's not quite true though. I think you have a bit of both our tempers in you.

"Yeah, but you do a better job of keeping yours down than I do. Well, most of the time. You only act that strongly when it's something real important, like family or the ranch. Ya really love her Pa, dontcha?"

Putting his arm around Joe's shoulders, he spoke soothingly to him, "Yes I do Joe, very much. But you haven't had much opportunity to get to know her yet. You know, I bet if you gave her half the chance, you two could become quite close."

"I s'pose so." Joe replied.

"You know, Adam and Hoss never got to know their Mothers. You had a chance that they never got, to get to know your Mother. Although you were quite young when she died, I know you have wonderful memories of her that you carry in your heart and so do I. Joseph, I love Catherine more than you could ever know, but she's not a replacement for your Mother no one can replace her. You'll always have her in your heart Joseph and I won't ever forget her, that much I promise."

"So…you love Catherine less than you did Mother?"

"No…" Ben said thoughtfully. "It's not a matter of less or more. I had seven years with your mother. Catherine, I've had but a few months. Love is not a set thing that becomes and never moves. When you love a woman son, when you really love her, love grows and changes over time. It's more like a stream that grows and becomes the river that flows and it continues to grow into a vast ocean. You'll figure out what I mean someday." Smiling warmly at Joe, he gave him a quick hug. "Now before I turn into a sentimental poet, I'm going to bed."

Joe grinned, feeling much better. "G'nite Pa."

He stood up and opened Joe's bedroom door. "Oh Joseph, tomorrow you're going to take Catherine into town, to school."

"But Pa…"

"No buts young man, you're taking her to school. It'll give you the chance to get to know her better."

"Does Catherine know about this?"

"Yes she does."

"Oh she must be thrilled that she's gonna be stuck with me and my big mouth!" Joe rolled his eyes.

Ben smiled, "It was her idea."

Giving her a soft hug and kiss, he helped Catherine up into the carriage beside Joe and watched them ride off together. He prayed that Catherine was right, that the ride into Virginia City would be good for the both of them. He shoved his hands into his pockets as he watched them fade out of sight. While he didn't need approval from his sons to marry, he did want their blessings, wanted them to at least like and respect her. Hoss and Adam had easily taken to Catherine, even calling her by a nickname. But Joseph was different, there hadn't really been anyone of much importance to him since Joseph's mother had died. For a brief moment, he thought of Joyce and shuddered at the thought of what a mistake that had been. But he'd been so lonely at the time. Joseph hadn't known about that, only Adam had and for that he was thankful. All he could do now was hope that his future bride and his youngest son would hit it off on the ride into town.

The ride to town had started off in an uncomfortable silence. It was Joe that first opened his mouth and he shifted uneasily in his seat as he did.

"Ma'am," Joe spoke hesitantly, "about what I said last night. It wasn't right, I'm sorry." He looked over at Catherine, waiting.

Her hands were folded neatly in her lap and she turned to look at his earnest young face. "There's no need to apologize, not really. I can't be mad at you for wanting to protect your father and the ranch. I want to do the same thing Joe. You love your father very much and so do I."

"The ranch means so much to Pa, to all of us. I don't like seeing what Irving is trying to do and if you're gonna start telling me about needing proof, don't bother. I know it's Irving in my gut. Pa's had a lot of good in his life, but he's had lots of sorrows too. He doesn't deserve this."

"No you're right Joe, he doesn't. And yes, I know it's Mr. Irving too. If there was anything I could do to make Irving stop, make him stop trying to hurt your Father, I would Joe. I promise you that." Catherine looked at the young man, she had noticed before that he had his father's smile and wished she could see it. "Did your Pa tell you how we met?"

"No ma'am, don't think he did." His interest was piqued; despite himself he was curious about what had drawn him to her.

"Well, I'll tell you if you stop calling me ma'am. Makes me feel old!" There it was, the smile that she'd been hoping for, only for a moment, but the smile of the man she loved worn by his youngest son. She told him the story, but deliberately left out the part of Danny Irving.

"So Pa actually carried your books to school?" He chuckled slightly.

"Yes, he most certainly did." Catherine smiled happily at the memory.

"So what happened at the International House, when he took you to dinner?" He found himself eager to hear more about it.

"Well, actually your Pa stood me up."

"Stood you up?! What?! No, not Pa."

"You see, there was this accident at the logging camp, something about his youngest son getting injured? Ring a bell?"

"Oh, you mean that's when you were supposed to have dinner?" Joe shook his head, "so another time I made a mess of things."

"I wouldn't say that Joe, you did compliment me..a lot!"

"Ohhhh," Joe groaned, he had taken quite the ribbing about that from his brothers. "Pretty."

"Yes, that's what you said…repeatedly." Catherine started laughing and Joe's laughter soon mingled with hers.

After the laughter died down, Catherine took a chance and asked Joe about his Mother.

"Didn't Pa tell you about her?" He asked.

"Yes he did, but a husband talking about a wife is much different than a son remembering his mother. What was she like Joe?" She watched happily as his eyes lit up and he began to tell her about Marie, his mother.

The sounds of a carriage pulling up in front of the house drew his attentions away from the mound of paperwork that was strewn across his desk. Rising from his chair, he glanced out the window to see Joe pulling up to a stop with Catherine beside him. He had been both thrilled and proud when Joseph had volunteered to go back to Virginia City to fetch Catherine from school. When Joseph had returned in the morning from taking her there, Ben had been anxious to find out how everything had went, whether or not his youngest son had hit it off with Catherine. But no matter how hard he pressed for information, all Joseph did was smile and say that she was real nice.

He opened the front door and was greeted by the whirlwind that was his future wife and his youngest son. Catherine smiled and put a quick kiss on his cheek then raced up the stairs to her room. "Catherine, wait…"

Joe raced inside just long enough to grab his jacket. "Hi Pa, getting chilly out there." Joe jogged back outside and yelled at his brother in the barn, "Hey Hoss, saddle Mercury would ya."

"Mercury, now wait Joe…" He watched his son run off into the barn. Ben threw his hands up in the air. What now?! He muttered to himself.

Catherine raced back downstairs and as she started past Ben, she stopped just long enough to give him another kiss and a wink. "Won't be long Ben."

Those black riding pants, she changed into those riding pants. He took a long admiring look while she ran towards the barn. Her hair was down now too her beautiful soft hair. Ben quickly shook off the feeling. What are those two up to?! Ben headed towards the barn and heard Hoss laughing.

"Ya done plum forgot shortshanks, I raised Mercury, he'll beat you and Coch any day of the week!"

Catherine and Joe took the reins of their horses and led them out of the barn, right past Ben.

He crossed his arms and bellowed, "Would someone tell me what in the blazes is going on?!"

Everyone stopped dead in their tracks.

"Umm, nothing Pa, just gonna set the record straight." Joe replied.

"Set what record straight young man?!"

"That Cochise can out run Mercury any day of the week."

Catherine laughed, "Oh you think so…"

Ben cut her off mid-sentence, "racing? Is that what you two are up to?" He pointed his finger at Joe as his son mounted Cochise. "Now wait just a minute."

"Pa," Adam tapped his shoulder.

"What is it?"

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" He said in a lowered voice.

Ben reluctantly turned his attention to Adam. "Yes?" He folded his arms again, tightly across his chest. "Pa you wanted and were hoping that Joe and Catherine would get to know one another better and that Joe would like her. Well Pa, they both love horses with a lot of speed. It's something they have in common."

His boot kicked at the dirt, Adam had a point. But still, it wasn't the only thing he was thinking about.

"Pa, I was there, I know what scares you. Forgive me for saying this, but Catherine is a much more skilled rider than Marie ever was."

His eyes flashed angrily at him but they softened quickly. Adam was right again, Catherine was a very skilled rider and loved horses. Marie could be quite reckless on horseback at times, especially if she was angry and on that day, she had been very angry with him. "Alright, alright." He said in a loud voice, "but you two be careful!" He walked to Catherine and gave her a leg up onto Mercury, letting his hand linger on her calf. Hoss drew his gun and Ben stepped away, hesitantly.

Hoss fired off a shot into the air and Ben watched his son and Catherine take off. He was filled with nerves as they disappeared from view. It seemed an eternity before they came back into view.

"C'mon Mercury!" Hoss shouted.

Adam cheered Joe on as Ben silently watched, he soon found himself caught up in it as well, not knowing who he should cheer for so he called out to both of them. They approached the yard, neck and neck and when they both pulled up to a stop, no one could say for sure who had won the race.

"Too close to call" Ben said. With strong hands, he reached up and took Catherine's waist, bring her down off of Mercury. She was breathing heavily and her eyes were sparkling, he didn't let go of her small waist. "You boys go on in and get ready for supper." He told his sons. They could both hear Joe pleading with his brothers to give him the win as they walked inside the house.

"What is it with you and riding fast?" He said, feeling a familiar warmth creeping through his veins.

"I don't know Ben, I just feel so alive and free when I ride." She put her arms up around his neck. "You aren't mad, are you?"

He looked down at her, her chest rising and falling with her quick breaths. Tightening his grasp, he pulled her against him, feeling the pounding of her heart against his chest and his own heart rate increasing. "No…mad is not what I'm feeling." His mouth met hers in a hungry kiss, her lips opened to his and let him devour her, taking what little breath she had away and Catherine melted into his strong arms.

"Pa, dinner's ready!" Joe had flung open the front door and went outside. "Oh! Umm sorry! I..uhh…well come in whenever you're ready…." He backed up to the door and closed it.

Ben and Catherine burst out laughing, wrapped in the comfort of loving arms.

There was plenty of work to be done around the house and barn before the winter snows set in. After he'd taken Catherine to school, he kept himself very busy with good hard work. A few loose boards on the barn walls that needed to be repaired and sealed up for the oncoming cold weather, repairs the porch and so much more that needed to be done. And yet, despite the work and the sweat that soaked his shirt, he couldn't get his mind off of Catherine. It ate at him, a feeling that there was still something bothering her. She and Joe were building a relationship and he was grateful for that. At the breakfast table though, it almost seemed to him that she was a little hesitant again to go back into town, he had caught a slight tremble in her hands, he knew her well enough to know that was a sure sign of something eating away at her, frightening her. He had tried to find out what was wrong, but she had insisted it was just a case of wedding jitters and worrying about everything getting done in time, he didn't believe it was wedding jitters.

It was late morning and he was repairing a wagon wheel in the yard when his heart began to pound and he was filled with sense of foreboding that he dropped the wheel and put his hand to his chest. His three sons rode up, hungry for lunch and shouting out jokingly to Hop Sing. Hoss saw the look on his Pa's face and his hand on his chest and he threw himself down from Chubb, racing to his side.

"Pa! You alright? What's wrong Pa?!" Hoss put his thick hand over Pa's chest.

When he regained his composure and saw his boys standing around him, the ominous feeling left. His sons were there and Catherine was safe in the schoolhouse. "Yes, yes I'm fine." He laughed slightly, "just had a sense that something was wrong, I dunno. It's gone now."

Adam saw how pale he was and he tried to laugh it off, "trying to be a soothsayer Pa?"

"Yeah guess I was for a moment there. C'mon let's get something to eat, I'm starving."

Catherine watched the children head outside to eat their lunches and have some play time in the yard. All of the children, except Jeremy, raced out the door. He was toying with his chalk and small chalkboard, waiting for the other kids to leave. "Jeremy, is everything alright?"

"Yes ma'am." He replied politely, turning his piece of chalk over and over again in his hand.

She walked over by his desk and sat down in the chair next to his. "What's on your mind Jeremy?"

"I was just wondering I guess, how come you can't teach no more once you marry Mister Cartwright?"

She sat straight up, a little unprepared for his question. Although, she had thought the same thing herself, more than once, why she must give up teaching when she loved it so much. "That's a big question and it's a little complicated I'm afraid."

"I'm a good student, I'll understand."

"Oh yes," she smiled, "you are an excellent student. Hmm, how shall I explain it? I would love to keep teaching after Mister Cartwright and I are married, however, society or should I say the world we live in today, thinks it wrong for a woman to continue working after she's married, unless it's absolutely necessary for the family's survival."

"But you're a good teacher Mrs. Timmons."

"Why thank you Jeremy. That means a great deal to me and I'm going to miss seeing all of you so regularly. Maybe someday, things will change."

"But…"Jeremy had started to protest but he saw the back door of the school open and two men walk inside. He recognized one of them right away, a big man that came into the store and treated everyone mean, even his grandpa.

What had caused Jeremy's drastic change in his expression became clear when she turned around towards the back door. Her breath caught in her throat and her hands began to tremble, all the color in her face drained away.

"A word, Mrs. Timmons." Jeremy heard the man say.

"Jeremy," Catherine said softly, "go outside and play. We can continue our talk later." She rose to her feet, feeling as though her legs would give way at any moment.

"Maybe I better stay." Jeremy crossed his arms and tried to make himself appear taller than his ten year old awkward frame.

"Jeremy, please! Go outside."

He reluctantly obeyed his teacher, but he sure didn't like how scared she sounded. Jeremy went outside the door and the younger man slammed it shut behind him. He threw himself down on the steps, putting his elbows on his knees and cupping his own face. Ignoring the other children playing, he sat there wondering what he should do. His grandpa had caught him eavesdropping once before and he'd gotten a lecture that had gone on for hours about what a bad thing that was to do. But this is different, he thought, isn't it? Mrs. Timmons looked scared of him, most of the people in town seemed to be scared of that big fat ol' man. A mischievous grin crept over his face, he had a reason to go back in there and find out what was going on, he'd left his lunch pail under his desk. He opened the back door just a crack.

"Please! We're getting married in a week. Don't do this…I love him!" Her voice was cracking and Jeremy heard her begging the man.

"If you love him, and frankly, I don't believe you do, not for a moment. But if you did love him, then it should be an easy decision for you Mrs. Timmons."

Jeremy saw the man throw some papers on the desk, one of them looked like a stage coach ticket, he strained to see better and lost his footing. The three grownups inside turned and looked at him.

"Get outta here boy!"

"I…I forgot my lunch pail."

"That's alright, we're finished here." The older man said. "Remember Mrs. Timmons, 9am tomorrow, I'll be watching."

Jeremy watched the two men leave, half tempted to stick out his foot and trip them. Mrs. Timmons sure looked upset. He wish he had heard more, wondering what would happen at 9am tomorrow.

Staring at the papers he had thrown on her desk, she picked up one of them as a silent tear fell down her cheek.

"Mrs. Timmons, you're crying! What they do? Should I get the sheriff? Mister Cartwright? Grandpa?" He fired off names in rapid succession.

"No…no Jeremy. It's alright. Nothing to worry about." She wiped the tear from her cheek with the back of her hand. "Jeremy would you tell the other children that they get to leave school early today? I'm sure they'll be thrilled at not having any arithmetic this afternoon."

"But Mrs. Timmons, shouldn't I try to get Mister Cartwright? He wouldn't want to see you crying."

She stood up and knelt down in front of Jeremy, putting her hands on his shoulders. "No Jeremy, I don't want you telling Mister Cartwright, understood?"

"But…"

"Jeremy, please, do as I say."

"Yes'm."

"Run along now and go play. I'm alright." As soon as Jeremy had closed the door, she took a few uneasy steps backward until her back met with the wall, she leaned against it and the tears began to flow down her cheeks. Catherine slid down the wall till she was seated on the floor, staring at the ticket in her hand. "God, please help me!" She pleaded. As clear as day, she heard the words she had spoken to Joseph, echoing back at her. "If there was anything I could do to make Irving stop, make him stop trying to hurt your Father, I would Joe. I promise you that." She knew then what she must do.

She sat at Martha's small kitchen table, bleary eyed from the all the tears she had shed. Martha brought over two small glasses of brown liquid and placed one in front of Catherine.

"Drink that dear, you need something stronger than tea." Martha sat down beside her and put her arm around Catherine's shoulders.

"Whiskey? I give that to patients when nothing else is available."

"Right now, you're the patient and this is medicinal. Drink it, you need it." Martha eyed her younger friend thoughtfully. So much good had happened to her since she'd arrived but then, so much bad too. She had to wonder how clearly Catherine was thinking right now.

Taking the glass to her lips, she paused for a moment then drank the whiskey that burned as it went down. "Ugh! That's awful!" Cradling the glass in her hands, she looked to her friend. "Martha, how am I going to tell him? How do I say goodbye to Ben? I've never loved anyone as much as I love him. And how do I stand there and NOT tell him what happened?!"

"Catherine, slow down, it's just land. Oh I know they love the Ponderosa, but in the end it's just land! Do you really think Ben would choose the Ponderosa over you?" With a soft hand on her friend's cheek, she turned Catherine's head to look at her. "Don't you think that he would rather have you by his side then alone?"

"That's just it Martha. It's more than just land to him and I suppose it became more than that to me too. I understand how he loves it, how much it means to him. He calls it a legacy for his sons, his sons, Martha. And Tom Irving will tear it apart, bit by bit, if I don't leave." She took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves down. "Martha, that's not everything he said. Irving made mention, inferred, that something horrible would happen to Ben if I stayed."

"What do you mean inferred?"

She thought for a moment, wanting to get the words out exactly as Irving had spoken them. "He said that ol' cowboys are always disappearing or having accidents and wouldn't it be a shame for Cartwright to have one of those accidents if I stayed here."

"Oh my! Are you sure there's nothing else you can do? What about the sheriff?"

"What can he do? It's just my word against his. I have no choice! If I don't leave, he could kill him and he would tear the Ponderosa apart. I won't let that happen to Ben, I can't."

"You're willing to give up everything you love to protect him?"

Catherine nodded and lowered her head on her folded hands on the table.

"He's going to be here soon looking for you. What are you going to tell him?" Martha asked.

"I don't know, I don't know how I can face him. How do I look into this eyes of his and tell him that I'm leaving. Oh Martha, if I look into those eyes, I'll tell him everything! I won't be able to leave him, I don't want to leave him. Martha, I love him so much! What do I tell him?"

Martha looked into the sad green eyes of her friend, seeing how lost and literally torn down she looked. "I know what you should say…God forgive me but I know what you can say without having to say you don't love him or you don't want him, I don't think you could get through saying that without turning to mush."

"What is it Martha, what do I tell him so he'll let me go?"

Martha looked upwards, "forgive me." She took Catherine's hands in hers. "You tell him the same thing that Marie told him the week before she died. Tell him you're leaving him because you're bored, you miss the city and you're tired of life on the Ponderosa. You miss the parties and dancing and all the life of the city. Tell him how you're so bored out here!"

Catherine stared at Martha, her mouth agape. "Marie, she said those things to him?"

"Yes she did."

"Ben's never said anything."

"There's a lot about Marie that you don't know. For Joe's sake, Ben's kept a nice memory of his mother around and the fairy tale was true in the beginning I s'pose, but their last year together, it was far from a fairytale. He tried everything to make her happy, to please her. There just was no pleasing her. Oh I know, one shouldn't speak ill of the dead but Marie, no matter what Ben did, she wasn't happy. Catherine, I didn't tell you this, but she was going to leave him."

"Leave him?! What about Joe?"

"She was going to leave all of them behind. Go back to New Orleans, to the gambling house she helped run."

But, if I tell him that I'm bored, it'll cut him to his core, hearing that again. It will bring back all those memories." She shook her head and stood up, "no I can't, it would be too painful for him."

Paul held open the front door of his house to his friend and they went inside. The two men removed their hats. "Martha? I'm home, Ben's with me, is Catherine here?"

Martha had shuffled Catherine upstairs to the guest bedroom, where she would stay for the night before catching the morning stage. She smoothed down her skirts and exited the kitchen to greet her husband. If Catherine couldn't be strong right now, perhaps she could be strong for her. While a part of her was unsure of her friend's decision, there was still a tiny part of her that admired the young woman that was willing to give up everything for the one she loved. She wondered if she were in the same situation, could she be that strong? "Hello Paul." She put a small solemn kiss on his cheek.

"Martha? Something wrong?" They'd been married a long time and the expression on her face worried him.

"Yes, Catherine's here. She's upstairs in our guest bedroom."

"Why is she up there?" Ben asked, a feeling of unease creeping over him.

"Ben, there's no easy way to say this."

Ben moved towards the staircase. "Say what? Catherine?!" He called to her.

"Ben, I'm so sorry but she's decided to go back to New York. It's not the life she wants out here."

"What?" He pointed at Martha. "Is this some kind of a joke?"

Paul took his wife's arm. "Martha, what is going on?!"

"No Ben, it's not a joke. She has a ticket for the stage. She's going back to New York. This life…well she said this life is just too boring for her. She misses the city." God forgive me, she thought to herself.

He took a step back as the words stung right through his heart. "No…I." It was hard for him to breathe. "I knew something was bothering, all this week, I could feel it. Bored?" His thoughts found glimpses of the barn dance, their rides together, painting her house. "No…No! She's not her!" Ben pushed past Martha and ran up the stairs, taking them in two's. "Catherine!"

She heard him calling for her frantically and looking down at her left hand and the beautiful emerald that graced her ring finger, Catherine slowly pulled it off and wrapped her hand around it. Her eyelids closed tightly, praying for strength, she waited for the door to open.

He didn't bother knocking, but flung the door open hard and he went into the guest bedroom, dropping to his knees in front of her as she sat on the bed looking at her hands. "Catherine, Martha was saying some kind of nonsense, you leaving. That's not true! Say it isn't true."

She lifted her head slightly, just enough to look at him but avoiding contact with his beautiful eyes. "It is true Ben, I'm going back to New York. I'm sorry."

Ben stood up, anger building. "You're sorry?! We're getting married in a week! Catherine, I don't understand!"

She said nothing, she couldn't say anything. She wanted to tell him everything and have him tell her that everything would be fine. He would put his arms around her, his strong arms and she would melt into them. But she couldn't, she had to be strong.

Ben took hold of her shoulders firmly. "Look at me!" But despite his demand, she kept her head turned away from his. "You're bored? Is that it? Catherine, we can go on trips to San Francisco, Denver, where ever you want to go."

"I'm going home to New York, Ben, where I belong, not the Ponderosa and not Nevada. I'm sorry, I just can't marry you." She took his large hand off of her shoulder and opened it, putting the ring he had given her in his palm.

Gripping the ring in his palm so hard that it cut into him, he stood up and anger filled his chocolate brown eyes. "You're sorry?! Sorry?! You want the life of the city, then fine, it's all yours Catherine!" Memories of Marie's words flashed in his mind. How had he fallen for another city girl? He should've known better!

"Ben.." she said softly. She was losing it, she could feel the tears coming to her eyes.

"Don't bother. I don't need to hear how bored you are out here!" Ben went to the door, grasping the knob. "I suppose I should be grateful, that you told me this now and not after we'd been married. I thought you were different. I thought…" He lowered his head and walked out the door.

She listened to his footsteps going down the stairs and the front door slam. Running to the window, she pulled back the curtain slightly and saw him standing beside Buck. He looked up to her in the window and Catherine thought she saw tears in his eyes. He shifted his gaze and mounted Buck, riding off without looking back.

Putting her hands on the cold window panes, the tears in her eyes welled over and spilled onto her cheeks. "I love you."

Very early in the morning, Adam and Hoss worked silently to clean up everything that had been thrown on the floor. Their Pa had come home last night and after informing them that there would be no wedding, he had gone to his desk and lit his pipe. At first, he had ignored their pleas for more information, shocked by what he had said. But later, as Ben stared at the emerald ring in his hand, he grew angry and it wasn't long before it had boiled over. He had stood up and with one fluid motion had swiped everything that was on his desk, onto the floor. Papers, pieces of glass that had used to be his desk lamp, the oil from the lamp and everything else laid on the floor, wreckage of the overwhelming anger and hurt he felt.

Joe came downstairs slowly, his eyes puffy and swollen, his heart full of anger and hurt. He went to help his brothers clean up up. "How could she do it?" He muttered. "How could she leave him?"

"I don't know, I just don't understand any of this!" Adam slammed down several books onto Pa's desk in frustration. It didn't make any sense to him, they loved each other, he could see it. The way Catherine looked at him, the way they talked, how they always were so close together. He had thought Cat had become his friend as well, the talks they had, how bright she was. No matter how he tried, he couldn't figure on Cat leaving. Couldn't make sense of it. His head was full of thoughts and memories. He cared for Cat and he had respected her, had he been that wrong about her? Adam's thoughts crossed to the wives his Pa had loved. He wished he had known his own mother, but he remembered Inger well. A tall woman with kind eyes and a genuine heart, though he was young when she had died, he had mourned for her a great deal. She was a loving woman and Adam always remembered her with a great deal of fondness. The giving spirit, the kindness, that was Inger, he had seen a bit of that in Catherine and much more. But he found his thoughts drifting to Marie, something he rarely allowed himself to do. It was best to keep those memories down, he thought, if for no other reason than for his youngest brother. Best to not think on her.

His eyes caught something sparkling underneath the grandfather clock. Adam reached under it and took hold of the object. He brought out the emerald ring and held it in his open palm. Without a word to his brothers about his find, he quietly slipped the ring inside his pants pocket.

"Pa up yet?" Adam asked.

"No," Joe said, "his door's still closed."

"Your Pa gone." Hop Sing answered as he put breakfast on the table. "Leave before sunrise."

The brothers rose from the mess they were trying to clean up and went to the table. "Gone, gone where?" Hoss asked.

"Said he need time, be back in a few days or maybe week." Hop Sing answered. "No going to have wedding?"

"No Hop Sing," Adam said sullenly, "there's not going to be a wedding."

"Did he say where he was going?" Joe asked.

"Uhh, yes. He say north cabin. That's where he go, he say he want alone though. Misser Cartwright very upset!"

"Yes, very upset. We all are Hop Sing." Adam hung his head down. The north cabin was a place he had helped Pa build years ago, a place to rest if you were out working along the north end of the Ponderosa or to take shelter from a storm. After Marie's funeral, his Pa had left the three of them in the care of Paul and Martha and he had gone to the north cabin, it was several weeks before he had returned home. Adam remembered the white and chocolate beard his father wore when he returned home, the tired look in his eyes. It was months before he saw any semblance of the Pa he loved and respected so much.

Joe started back up the stairs.

"What do you think you're doing?" Adam halted him with his commanding voice.

"I'm going to head to the north cabin, talk to Pa."

"You'll do no such thing." Adam told him. "He needs to be alone right now, you have to try and understand that."

"But…but he's hurting. We have to help him!" Joe's lip quivered, heartbroken for his Pa.

Adam and Hoss went to their youngest brother.

"Look Joe," Hoss said. "Pa needs ta be alone. Let him heal in his own way. He done got his heart broke, man's gotta heal from that on his own." He put his arms around Joe and gave him a hug. "We're all hurtin' Lil Joe. Gotta take care of it in our own ways."

Adam went to the side cabinet by the door and picked up his gun belt, fastening it tightly below his waist.

"Now where ya think you're going?" Hoss folded his arms.

"I want answers, none of this makes any sense. They love each other. There's gotta be something else, I just don't believe she'd leave him for no good reason!"

"Adam, leave Pa be." Hoss told him.

"I'm not going to see Pa, not yet anyways."

"Well then where are you going?" Joe asked, coming back down the stairs.

"I'm going to go have a little talk with Cat. Stage doesn't leave till nine, I can make it into town in plenty of time and wait for her. I want answers, real answers!" Adam put his Stetson on and grabbed his coat. "You two coming?"

"Right behind you Adam!"

He rode slowly towards the north cabin, his tall frame slumped down low in the saddle. His mind was overflowing with thoughts of her and wondering how he could have been so wrong. He gave a tug to Buck's reins and headed towards the lake, with a small kick he brought his horse to a gallop. Buck was stopped hard at a spot by the vast lake that held a special memory for his rider.

Ben dismounted and stood in the very spot where he had taught Catherine how to shoot. He could nearly hear his own laughter when she'd been knocked down after firing the rifle for the first time. A bitter cold wind swept across the lake and the fur collar of his coat was turned up to ward off the chill. They had come so close to making love that afternoon but he had so wanted to do everything right, to wait until their wedding night to claim her. He had put aside his own wants and desires and focused fully on pleasuring her and in doing so he had found so much satisfaction and joy in giving to her completely. Now he would never know what it would be like to take her and make love to her as he had wanted to do so many times. He supposed, he should feel grateful for that too, that they had never made that connection.

He pictured the two of them sitting underneath the nearby massive tree, wrapped up together in a warm blanket, kissing her creamy soft shoulders. And her words, he listened to them replay in his mind while his eyes closed shut tightly. Ben, this place just takes my breath away! There isn't another place on earth as beautiful as the Ponderosa. I love you so much. Turning away, he wished he had an axe with him, he'd cut that ancient tree down to a stump! Anything to free himself of the pain of losing her, bring her back, he found his thoughts crying out for her. Groaning, he leaned up against a rock and looked up to the sky. "I was so grateful to have her in my life. I actually believed she loved me completely. But that wasn't your plan was it? Just brief moments in time of having a good woman by my side, just long enough to love and then feel the pain of you taking her away from me! So that's your grand plan for my life?! You can keep your damn plans for my life, stay out of it!"

Mounting Buck again, he turned away from the lake and headed off, galloping, towards the north cabin.

They made good time getting into Virginia City and had a solid hour before the stage would arrive. Joe had wanted to go directly to the Martins and confront Catherine there, but Adam had convinced him otherwise. Best to talk to her without any outside interference from her friend Martha, he had told him.

Adam had a gnawing feeling that there was so much more to the story on why she was leaving. Pa had barely said but a few words and he wanted answers. Adam wanted to hear them from her and no one else.

The three dismounted and waited. They soon found themselves with unexpected company joining them. Young Jeremy came across the street and looked up at the board for the stagecoach. He wanted to see if his teacher was going to be on it and he found 9am on the board, just as that man had said.

Adam spotted the boy and walked over to him. "Mornin' Jeremy. You got someone coming in on the stage?"

Jeremy shook his head, "no sir."

"Someone leaving?"

"Yessir." Jeremy looked up at the three men, "ain't ya here ta say bye to Mrs. Timmons too?"

"Why yes we are," Adam replied and his eyes grew large, he dropped to his knees and took Jeremy by the shoulders carefully. "Jeremy, how did you know that Mrs. Timmons was leaving?"

"Cause that's what the man said when he threw the ticket at her, 9am. Uh oh." Jeremy looked down at the ground and tried to pull away. "Only I wasn't s'posed to say anything…but I thought that was jest to your Pa!"

Adam looked up at Joe and Hoss, they had moved in close, nearly surrounding the child. "Jeremy, it's okay, you can tell us."

"No..nope I did a bad thing! Grampa said eavesdropping was bad!"

Adam pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes for just a moment. "So you did a bad thing by eavesdropping. We all make mistakes. Jeremy, where did you eavesdrop? Can you tell me that?"

"I guess so. At school, after Mrs. Timmons sent me inside cause those two men came in the backdoor."

Adam shot a worried glance to his brothers. "Jeremy, you have to tell me what you heard, it could be very important! We want to help Mrs. Timmons, but we can't help her if you don't tell us what you heard."

He hesitated, "you'll make her stay? I don't want her to go away."

"We don't want her to go away either. Do we?" He glanced up and both his brothers told Jeremy they didn't want her to leave. Adam added in that his Pa didn't want her to leave either.

"Okay, but I didn't hear all of it. It was that rich man, the one who always smokes those stinky cigars and he's big and round!"

"Yeah, that man. He's always mean to Grandpa. Only he had another man with him at the school, big man but not big like him, tall and looked real mean. I thought he was gonna give me a whoopin'!"

"Jeremy, what did you hear?" Adam asked again.

"I didn't hear all of it. But he made her cry. She was like, well she was kinda begging him. She told him she loves your Pa and begged him not to do sumethin' said she was getting married in a week, kept telling him she loved him, your Pa I mean. And he threw this ticket at her, at least I thought it looked like one of them stagecoach tickets, seen 'em before. He told her 9am, that's why I came out here, there's a 9am stage. He said he'd be watching too."

Adam took a look down the street and Tom Irving was there, standing outside of his office and smoking a cigar. He was watching them intently.

"Adam," Hoss knelt down beside his elder brother. "Sounds like he maybe was threatening her. We can't let her leave, she's scared to death, that's what it is!"

"She said everything was gonna be alright, but it isn't is it?" Jeremy told him. "I looked in the window after I left and it looked like she was sitting on the floor praying and she was crying real hard. I didn't know what to do."

"Ya done a lot." Hoss told him.

"My brother's right, Jeremy, I think your eavesdropping was a good thing…this time." Adam ruffled the boy's hair. Standing up, he faced both his brothers. "We can't let her leave. Whatever he's threatened against her, it scared her enough to make her think she had to run."

"Doesn't she realize Pa would protect her?" Joe asked.

"Remember, it was only a short time ago that Irving's son nearly killed her. That would be enough to scare anyone." Adam told both of them. "Then there was the explosion and your friend Teddy, died right in front of her. I think Hoss is right, she's scared to death."

Hoss elbowed his other brother, "Adam look."

They all turned to see Catherine coming down the street towards them. She had partially hid her face behind a veiled hat and she was walking quickly. She glanced up and caught sight of Ben's sons watching her and standing in front of the stagecoach station. After how angry Ben had been last night, she didn't think she would see him at the station and she knew she would fall apart if she saw him again. But his three sons, Catherine felt completely unprepared for this. Suddenly, she wished she hadn't said goodbye to Martha at the house and her friend had walked her to the station. Her composure was slipping away with each step she took that brought her closer to them. Her heart ached. She'd grown so found of Ben's sons, most recently Joseph who shared her passion for riding. Catching sight of Jeremy standing behind them, she knew he had more than likely said something to them. Taking in a deep breath, her muscles tensed. "Hello." She said in a small voice. "What are you doing here?"

Adam took a step closer to her, sensing her fears. "We thought we were coming here to get answers from you. To find out why you would hurt Pa so much, why you would leave him. But we've found some of our answers." Adam put his hand on her arm gently, "and we're not about to let you leave."

"Adam…" She exhaled, trying to hold her emotions in.

"Adam's right, we're not about to let you leave. You and Pa belong together and that's all there is that's important." Hoss told her.

"I know that Mr. Irving threatened you somehow and I know that you're scared. But we won't let anything happen to you. I promise you that Cat." Adam's voice was filled with urgency. He wouldn't let her leave, not like this. "You love our Pa, don't you?"

The tears spilled over her eyelids and onto her cheeks. "Oh yes Adam, I love him so." Catherine looked up to see Tom Irving and two of his men, moving closer, within earshot of them. "That's why you have to let me go! Please!"

With a loud yell and the sound of a whip cracking and the thunder of horses hooves, the stagecoach rounded the corner and the driver pulled it to a sharp halt close to them.

Her eyes looked over Adam's shoulder towards Tom Irving and his men, growing more anxious and afraid, she tried to pull herself from Adam's grasp on her arm but he wouldn't let go. "Adam please!"

Adam turned back and saw Tom Irving watching them, he tightened his grasp on her arm, more to protect her than anything else.

Hoss saw the fear in her face, through her thin veil and he tried to comfort her. "Whatever he threatened to do to you, no matter what Cat, we'll protect you. I swear it!"

She struggled against Adam's firm grasp, beginning to panic. She wouldn't let anything happen to him! "Not me, he didn't threaten me! Oh please, you have to let me get on the stage!"

"Then what is it Catherine, if he didn't threaten you, then why are you leaving Pa?!" Joe's voice was filled with anger as he spoke to her.

"Please! Please, he'll kill him! He'll destroy everything! Oh please Adam, let me go!" She sobbed.

The brothers stopped and stared at her, taking in what she had said. It was Hoss that spoke first.

"He threatened Pa? He threatened him if ya didn't leave town?"

Nodding, she cried and Adam released his hold on her arm. "You were going to leave to protect him? To protect the ranch, is that it?"

"Ye..yes. He's going to destroy the Ponderosa and he said something bad would happen to your father. I couldn't let that happen! I love him too much to let that happen, that's why you have to let me go. Please!" Catherine entreated them.

"Dontcha see?" Hoss said, putting his arms around her and drawing her into a hug. "That's exactly why we ain't lettin' ya go."

"Ya love him that much?" Joe asked, the anger on his face disappeared.

"Yes I do. With all my heart!"

"You're not going anywhere Cat." Adam told her. "If there's going to be a fight with Irving, then let there be one. You're a part of this family and you're staying."

"You could lose everything! I remember Ben, your Pa telling me that the Ponderosa was a legacy for the three of you. I can't let Tom Irving take that away because of me!"

"There's a fight coming with Irving, I know there is and it will happen whether you're here or not here I think. No matter what happens, Pa wants you by his side, I know he does."

"Adam's right Catherine," Joe added, "he needs you by his side, that's where you belong. 'Sides," He grinned slightly, "five Cartwrights are better than four!"

Adam turned his head slightly. "You hear that Irving?!" He shouted. Adam turned on his heels, staring Tom Irving down and his brothers and Catherine soon turned as well to look at the man that was threatening their home. "Mrs. Timmons is staying and she's gonna be a Cartwright!"

Joe folded his arms and glared at the stout man, "you want a fight? You got one! But not just with one woman or our Pa, ya got one with us! All five of us!"

Adam took Catherine's arm and quickly led them away from Irving. "You got riding clothes?"

"Yes, at the ranch. Where is he?"

"He's gone to the north cabin. I'll explain on the way. We'll stop at the ranch so you can change, a carriage won't make it up there. With any luck, you'll be with him tomorrow afternoon at the cabin."

Catherine stopped. "Adam, I broke his heart last night. He might not forgive me for that."

"He will Cat. When you tell him the whole truth, he'll forgive you."

She followed the three of them in a rented carriage, back to the ranch to change her clothes and the brothers grabbed some supplies and blankets for the overnight trip. But she didn't share in Adam's confidence that Ben would forgive her. They hadn't seen the look in his eyes, the pain she had caused. "Ben, forgive me please." She whispered to the heavens.

Sitting on the bear skin rug in front of the fireplace, he sought to find some solace in the flames that danced across the logs. The better part of the morning had been spent chopping two full cords of wood and although it would keep the cabin warm for several days, the physical work had done little to quell the overwhelming emotions that simmered within him.

Ben had eaten little since arriving at the cabin and finally, when he felt weakness mounting, he pulled out some of the meats and bread that Hop Sing had thrown together for him at the last minute and sat down at the small table. The meats and bread were washed down with lukewarm coffee he had made that morning, paying no attention to the taste of any of the food he took in. Instead, his mind was on a picnic, a small one spread out beneath a tree in her front yard, trying to get the last remnants of paint off of themselves and the kiss they had shared. "How could I have been so wrong?!" Ben slammed his fist into the table, sending his coffee cup to the floor. Grabbing the tin cup off the floor, he took down a bottle of whiskey off the shelf and went back to sitting in front of the fire, searching for answers.

Hoss rapped on the door, not sure how his Pa would respond to all of them suddenly showing up at the cabin and with Cat. When there was no answer, he turned to his brothers and shrugged his shoulders. Adam nodded and with a hard swallow, Hoss gingerly opened the cabin door.

Catherine's heart pounded so hard in her chest that she thought it would surely burst out.

"Pa?" Hoss saw him sitting quietly on the bearskin, looking at the fire. He was unshaven and covered in bits of wood and dust.

"Pa, we gotta talk to you." Joseph spoke with a sense of urgency in his voice.

Ben didn't take his eyes off the fireplace, not even to glance at his sons. "Didn't Hop Sing tell you I needed to be alone for a spell?" His voice was monotone and cold.

"Yes he did Pa," Adam said. "But this is important." He took Catherine's hand and with a small smile led her into the cabin.

"Ben." She whispered.

Her voice sent a shock throughout his body, it was the last voice he had expected to hear. Raising his head as his neck and shoulders tightened, he spoke to her through gritted teeth. "Shouldn't you be on your way to the big city?!" He refused to look at her.

Catherine took a tentative step closer to him. "No, New York isn't where I belong. It's here with you, that's my home. Ben I made a terrible mistake.."

"Yes you did, go on back to the city Catherine. You won't be bored there."

She wanted so much for him to at least look at her, stop staring at the fire. "I'm not bored, I've never been bored with you or the Ponderosa. I love you Ben."

"You certainly have a strange way of showing it, my dear." He was being snide with her and would still not look in her direction.

Adam, Joe and Hoss watched silently, Joe had never seen his Pa so hurt and angered before. But Adam remembered it well and even though Hoss had been quite young, he remembered the yelling between his Pa and Joe's Mother and the way Pa looked when she died, it was the same look he wore with Catherine now.

Kneeling down beside him, she spoke to him softly. "Ben I have to tell you what happened, why I did what I did. I'm so sorry!" She put her hand on his arm, "Ben…"

He shirked his arm away angrily, "sorry?! You tore me apart and you're sorry? It was lies, wasn't it?! All of it lies!" Ben rose to his feet quickly and grabbed the bottle of whiskey and cup, pouring himself a liberal amount and drinking it down with one hot swallow. "When Martha told me you were bored with life here, it cut me to the core. You're sorry for being bored is that it?"

"No! I was never bored. I love it here, I love you! Ben I was so scared, I made a bad mistake! You have to believe me, I didn't want to hurt you."

"Get out." He poured himself another shot of whiskey.

"Ben please!"

"Get out!" He pointed at his sons, "you get her outta here right now and go on back to the ranch, there's plenty for you boys to do there. I'll talk to you three when I get back."

"No Pa." Adam planted his feet firmly on the floor and put his hands on his hips.

"You listen to me now, you take her and you get out!" He looked at her for the first time since she'd walked through the door.

"Ben, I couldn't let anything happen, I had to!" She pleaded with him, trying desperately not to cry. The last thing she wanted to do was cry then.

"Pa would you listen to her!" Hoss blurted out.

"Leave me be! Get out!"

"Pa stop shouting and listen!"

"I've heard more than enough!" He sat down at the table, not knowing anymore what he was feeling but it was bubbling close to the surface.

"Pa, she was trying to save your life!" Adam shouted back at him.

It took a moment for Adam's words to sink in, but when they did, Adam saw his Pa's eyes grow wide. It was just as he had done when he had found out the reason behind Cat trying to leave. "What did you say?" Ben asked.

"Pa," Adam put his hand on Cat's shoulder trying to reassure her. "Lucky for us, one of her students likes to eavesdrop. Tom Irving got to her at school. That's why she was trying to run. Not because she was bored with life here or you." He hoped those words would reach him, make him realize that Cat was a far cry from Marie. Even though she had made a big mistake by trying to run away, her reasons behind it had left no doubt in any of the brothers minds about how much she loved him.

Ben finally looked at her fully, "is that true? He threatened you?"

She shook her head. "No, not exactly. He…"

"Not exactly, then what?! Exactly!" He rose to his feet and took her by the shoulders hard. "Tell me Catherine!"

"Ben!" Tears filled her eyes and they stared up at dark eyes ablaze with anger.

Hoss quickly grabbed his Pa's arm. "Pa stop! He threatened you and the ranch Pa! That's why she was running! To protect you!"

Ben didn't release his tight grasp on her but stared down at her, searching her tear stained face for answers. "Protect me? Catherine, is that true?"

"Oh God," she shot a look towards Adam, "I should've gotten on that stage! Ben, I couldn't…l can't let anything happen to you or to this land, you love it so much." She tried hard to regain her composure. "Tom Irving gave me a ticket on the stage headed back east, he told me that he would destroy you and the Ponderosa if I wasn't on that stage." She felt his bruising grip begin to weaken. "Ben I don't want anything to happen to you or the ranch, I love you too much to let that happen."

Adam started to back out of the cabin and his two younger brothers followed his lead. "You two have a lot that needs talking about. We're going to head on home and leave you two to talking. Farmer's Almanac says snow tonight so ya best either come down soon or you'll be here talking all night."

Joseph stepped away from his brothers for a moment, feeling the need to speak to him. "Pa?"

"Yes Joseph," Ben turned his head towards his youngest son.

"Pa, maybe she did go about things the wrong way and all. But I just gotta think that anyone that's willing to give up everything to protect someone they love…that's a person worth givin' another chance to."

He watched his sons leave and the words of his youngest son sunk down into his soul and stayed there. He released his hold on her and stepped away.

"Ben, please forgive me." She entreated. "I know now I made a horrible mistake."

"Catherine, don't you see?! He wanted to tear us apart, he said that to me more than once, tear US apart. What better way to tear us apart than to try and force you to leave? If you had gotten on that stage, he would've won, he would have succeeded in tearing us apart.

The words hit her hard. She hadn't thought of it in that way, in her fear, she had only seen the need to protect him and keep him from the harm that Tom Irving had threatened to cause. "Ben I should've seen that…I'm so sorry! Can you ever forgive me for what I did?"

"You were scared, I know that now. But Catherine you should've come to me, told me what happened!"

"I know Ben. I do love you very much. I know I was wrong…please…forgive me!"

He was overwhelmed by all the emotions he felt, the fire blazed inside him.

She watched him across the room, wanting and needing him to forgive her, to tell her everything would be alright. That they would be alright, that he still loved her. Minutes past and he said not a word to her. "Ben, please say something, anything! Yell if you want to…please…I can't.."

He raised his hand up, "No more words." A few long strides across the cabin brought him to her. He took hold of her shoulders again but this time he drew her in hard and his lips plunged on hers with such ferocity that she nearly lost her balance. He yanked on her winter coat and pulled it off her arms, letting it fall to the floor. His lips traced a hard trail down the side of her neck, demanding and wanting. Firmly lowering her down onto the bearskin rug, he deftly worked on the buttons of her blouse.

"Ben," she gasped breathlessly.

He stopped for a moment to look into her green eyes, "no more words Catherine, not tonight."

When their heartbeats slowed to a normal rhythm and their breathing became easy, he rolled onto his back and pulled her close. Ben marveled at how her naked frame melded perfectly into his and her head was just the right fit for the crook of his shoulder. Lovingly, he stroked her long auburn hair and placed a small kiss on the top of her head. He put a finger tenderly beneath her chin and drew her face up to look at him.

"Swear you'll never try to leave me again. I'd rather lose every acre of the Ponderosa, with you by my side, than have it all alone." Ben spoke to her in a near whisper.

"Oh I swear Ben, I'm yours forever."

They fell asleep together curled up close with bear fur as their mattress and roughly sewn together fur pelts as their soft blanket.

Hours later she nuzzled closer to him and pulled up the fur blanket to their shoulders, feeling the cold in the room. She fingered the hair on his chest, feeling the toned muscles beneath his layer of fur.

The fire was crackling and dying down to bright embers, in need of tending to soon or the room would grow icy cold. Though she hated to leave the warmth that enveloped her, she quietly pulled away from Ben and slipped out from underneath the blanket, the cold air sending a rise of goose bumps everywhere. She took Ben's shirt and slid it on, taking in his scent as she buttoned it up, it nearly came down to her knees but the warm wool staved off some of the cold.

Ben stirred at the smell of fresh coffee. Opening his eyes slowly to the light of morning and the warm glow of the fireplace he was surprised he had woken up after dawn. His arm stretched out, reaching for her and finding she wasn't there, he worked his sleepy eyes into focusing. She was at the table, laying out some bread and dried meats and pouring herself a cup of coffee. He gazed appreciatively at the sight of her, wearing just his wool shirt, her legs bare to her knees. The fire was roaring and the cabin warm. Slipping on his pants, he joined her by the table, slipping his arms around her waist. "Mmm," he brushed back her hair and put a warm kiss on her neck. "Morning."

She turned around and stood up on her toes to kiss him. "Good morning sleepy head."

"How long have you been up?" He asked, sitting down at the table and taking in everything she had done. Fresh water had been pumped in, hot coffee, and a roaring fire told him of how quietly she could work, he was not a heavy sleeper.

She poured his coffee and when she put the coffee pot down, he drew her into his lap. "Oh I don't know," she replied, draping her arms around his neck. "You looked so peaceful, I didn't want to wake you."

"Best night of sleep I've had in a long time. I wonder why?" He chuckled. He kissed her softly and let his fingers entwine in her long hair. "I like you in my shirt."

"I do too, I hope you brought other shirts with you. I don't think you're getting this one back."

He nuzzled at her neck and she drew back giggling. "Scruffy!" She told him.

"S'pose I could use a shave. I'll shave after we eat, be good to wash up a bit. And then I'll see to the horses for our ride back to the ranch."

"That might be a little difficult." She got off his lap and went to the window.

"Why's that?" Ben stood up and followed her.

"It's been snowing since I've been up, coming down pretty heavily."

"What?" He gazed out the window, he had expected a light dusting of snow, but it was a full fledged winter snowfall. Buck could make it easily down a snowy trail, but Mercury was built for speed, not for snow and ice and rough terrain.

Turning back towards the table, he took another sip of hot coffee and grabbed a piece of jerky. Finding one of the other shirts he had brought with him, he slipped it on and buttoned it up to the collar.

Catherine watched him put on his coat and gloves. "Where are you going? It's bitter cold outside."

"I better check that trail back, see if Mercury can make it. Otherwise we might be here another day or two." He looked at her again, his pulse starting to race again. "Mind you it wouldn't be such a bad thing to spend another day or two alone with you darling." He kissed her softly but all too briefly. "Don't get dressed Catherine, I want you just like that when I get back." Grabbing his rifle and hat, he opened the door slightly and felt the rush of cold against his face. "There's a few books in the corner over there if you'd like."

"Be careful!"

"Of course!" He grinned and shut the door quickly before more cold air and snow reached inside the small cabin. Ben's first priority was assessing the one trail that led southwards and he found it impossible for the time being, the mixture of snow, ice and rock was too dangerous to risk with the horses, especially for Mercury, but he wouldn't even want to put Buck on that trail unless it was an emergency. With any luck, the snow would stop falling soon and by tomorrow morning the sun would return and change everything into merely wet conditions.

Another night spent in that small cabin with her, he smiled at the thought. Last night had been one filled with passion and need, tonight, he mused he would take her time with her, explore, taste, touch. His mind's eye pictured her again in his shirt and how incredibly tantalizing he found her in it. But as his thoughts drifted to last night, they also remembered her arrival and how she had pleaded with him to forgive her. Why didn't I see that? Why didn't I see how frightened she was? After all we've been through together these last few months, I should've known something was horribly wrong! If it hadn't been for the boys, she'd be gone forever and I would've done nothing except wallow in my anger and pain. I should've never have doubted her love. He thought on the seeds of doubt that had been planted in his heart so many years ago, ones that had never existed before, until the day Marie had rent his heart in two.

"Mon cher, please let's go back to New Orleans. I need the city, I miss it so!"

"Marie, it's not a good time right now my love. Why don't you go put on that new gown you just got and we'll go into town and have dinner at the International House? We can work on planning a visit to San Francisco soon, perhaps even New Orleans in the fall."

"Pfftt, the International House and you can hardly call that little place a city, Virginia City, indeed. It doesn't even have a decent dressmaker! It's boring! I want to dance and visit the gambling house again and shop and see all the people! Darling, New Orleans, please!"

"Marie, you know it's round-up right now, I can't leave. Not now."

She raised her voice and crossed her arms. "Round up! That's all you think about is this ranch, you've become as dreary and boring as this land is! I hate it here!"

Ben went to her, trying to calm her down. "Marie please, lower your voice, you'll wake the boys!"

"Look at you! You were so handsome in your suits in New Orleans, now you are always full of dirt and dust and tired. This place is taking the life out of you. Well, I won't let it suck the life from me!"

"Marie, what are you saying?"

"I'm going back to New Orleans with or without you Ben, before I die of boredom here. Do you hear me?! I hate this life and I hate the Ponderosa. I'm going home!"

The sound of snow and ice breaking a pine branch close by, jarred him from his thoughts. How long he'd been standing there, lost in memories, he had no idea but one memory from three nights ago struck him hard. Catherine had never told him she was bored with him or the ranch, those were words Paul Martin's wife had said, not Catherine. Had Martha told her about Marie? He prayed not, it was something he would tell her about someday but didn't feel ready to yet and if Joseph ever found out, it would tear his youngest son to pieces.

Ben started back but as he went past some large boulders, he spotted a big ram foraging for food in the snow. Ducking back behind the rocks, he readied his rifle. If he was lucky, he would have enough food to last them for days, if need be. Taking careful aim, he felled the ram in one clean shot. Lifting his face to the heavens, he spoke quietly, "thank you for providing."

Catherine nearly bolted from the chair at the sound of gunfire, forgetting for a moment just how far away from civilization they were. She relaxed again, after a few minutes and wondered what he was bringing home to cook. She started giggling at herself, for calling the cabin home. And yet, in a way it felt so comfortable being there with him, falling asleep and waking up in his arms. Making coffee for them, sitting in his lap and the way he looked at her. It felt like home.

He returned to the cabin hours later, hungry and cold. The ram had been cleaned and the fur saved to dry. It was more than enough meat to last them for several days if need be. He was greeted by loving warm arms around his neck and soft kisses on his face. "A man could get used to that kind of greeting every day!" He kissed the tip of her nose and pulled off his coat, shaking off the cold.

"How's the trail?" She asked.

"No good, not for today. I'll check it again first thing in the morning. I did bring back food though, there's plenty to eat tonight. Fresh ram."

"Ram?"

"Big horn sheep, you'll like it I think. But I'm afraid you're stuck with me for another night. I, however, am rather glad the trail is impassable. At least one more night that I get to have you all to myself and with any luck, that trail will stay bad for several days!" He laughed and put his hands on her hips.

She giggled and started to turn away. "Oh Ben, several days? You'll get bored of me!"

His smile drained away and he roughly turned her around to look at him. Cupping her face in his gloved hands, she saw pain in his eyes. "No," He said, "I will never get bored of you my love, never!" He kissed hungrily, leaving her legs weak. When their lips parted from one another, he said it again in a low growl, "never Catherine."

The temperature outside had begun to increase and some of the snow was beginning to melt. With the combination of snow and water, the sunlight cast a glow on the land that made it sparkle in the bright light. He had checked the trail once more and with the temperature rising, he thought they would be able to leave the cabin the next morning and head back to the house. He had told her of the trail conditions reluctantly, a part of him not wanting to return to real life just yet. The past several days had been pure joy for both of them and they were hesitant to leave the comfort and love they had embraced while they were alone there together.

She had relished the times he would read to her from Walden, his deep voice a soothing tonic, his arm draped over her brought a sense of love and comfort that she had never known before she'd met Ben. He had taught her so many things about love and happiness over the past several days that they had spent alone together, snowed in at the cabin. She prayed that their return to home would not change things, but make them grow even stronger. There was much trouble to be faced, she thought, when they returned home but he had shown her how that as long as they were together, nothing was insurmountable.

The feel of her against him, waking up next to her in the morning and finding her head tucked neatly on his shoulder, her soft hair tickling his chest. Watching her make coffee in the morning, the way she sometimes bit her lower lip, how she always bested him in checkers and the way she seemed to trust and love him with her whole heart. These were all things he etched in his mind to keep forever. Even the memory of that morning, when she had hit him squarely in the back with a snowball and they had laughed like children without a care in the world, at the snowball fight that had ensued, these were all things he locked up in his heart. His wife, his love. Ben was fully aware that they still needed to make things legal, but in his heart, she was already his wife. Catherine Cartwright.

So it was late in the evening, with a great deal of trepidation, that he brought up what happened the day she had tried to leave him. The day she had been threatened by Tom Irving and the day she had very nearly broken his heart. They sat in front of the fireplace, beneath the blanket of fur pelts, a tangle of bare arms and legs after a long luxurious session together. Ben knew they would be going home tomorrow and before they did, he had to know everything that happened that terrible day. She leaned her naked back against his chest, his arms and legs encompassing her.

"Catherine," he spoke softly.

"Mmm-hmm?" She replied, still in a state of bliss.

"I need to know what happened…everything." He didn't want to destroy the harmony, the relaxed pleasure that filled him after loving her again, but he had to know, before they went back to reality, he had to know everything.

Her eyes opened slowly, how she wished they didn't have to talk about it, but with the trip home coming on the morrow, it could no longer be avoided. "Oh Ben, I'm so sorry. I'll never hurt you like that again. I dread whatever may come from him, he saw me leave with your boys, he knows I didn't leave. There's going to be a fight, he's going to try and destroy everything you built."

"If there's going to be a fight, then let it come. No matter what he tries, I have you, I have my sons. That's all that matters. But I need to know what he said exactly and Catherine; I need to know more about what happened when you went to Martha's."

Slowly, she told him of how Tom Irving had shown up at the school right at recess with one of his men. What he had said to her, not only threatening the ranch but him as well. Ben began to grasp more fully why she had tried to break it off with him and had almost succeeded in doing so. Her only thoughts had been of him and saving that which he had built with his own two hands, the Ponderosa. He tightened his hold on her, a protective cocoon against a hurt that had already been dealt. His thoughts went to his failure to protect her completely and how Tom Irving had forced her into an impossible situation.

He put his head on her shoulder. "Darling, I'm the one that's sorry. I never thought he could get to you like that. I thought at school, you were safe, he wouldn't dare try to get to you there. I was wrong."

"You couldn't have foreseen that Ben, it's not your fault, none of this is your fault. Remember, I was the one that complained you were being too protective of me." Her arm went up and around the back of his neck. "I'm the one that should've come to you, told you everything. All I could see is what he was going to do to you and not what splitting us apart would do to both of us."

He held her for several minutes silently, putting several small kisses on her cheek and neck. There was still one thing he had to know about though, what exactly had happened when Catherine had sought out Paul's wife, Martha. "That night, when I came looking for you…Martha told me that you were bored with life out here, bored with me. But those weren't your words, were they Catherine."

Closing her eyes for a moment, she turned herself around to face him, her small frame still between his long legs and arms. She needed to see his dark eyes, even in the dim firelight, his dark eyes shone back at her. "No Ben, they weren't my words. I could never be bored with you or this land. You mean everything to me and I've come to love this land, your ranch, almost as much as you do." No more secrets, she told herself and while the last thing she wanted to do was see him angry with her, she had to tell him everything. "Ben, I do know why those words cut you so deeply." She inhaled deeply, trying to quell the nerves. "I know that Marie had told you those things."

Anger and regret washed over him in a wave, without realizing it, he drew away from Catherine. Angered that Martha had broken his trust and divulged such private information without his permission and regret at how Catherine had found out about what happened with his third wife. It was something he had wanted to tell her himself, when the time and place was right. It was not an easy thing for him to speak of. "Martha should have never told you. It was not her place to do so." Ben stayed beneath the warmth of the blanket but had moved to the edge of it, crossing his legs.

She felt a wall coming up between them. "I know Ben, I'm so sorry. Martha was trying to help me. I knew that if I tried to break it off and tell you that I didn't love you, I knew you would see right through that lie. I couldn't tell you that I didn't love you, it was because I love you that I was trying to leave. I couldn't…I didn't know what I could say when I saw you. I knew I would fall apart."

"That's when Martha told you about Marie having grown bored with life here and with me, isn't it? She told you that Marie was planning on leaving us, even her own son."

Her reply was a slow nod.

"But you never said those words to me. Marie did. And Martha did as a way to get me to let you leave."

Not knowing if he would let her touch him then, she moved in slowly and laid her head on his broad chest. Ben didn't push her away but with a burdened sigh, he brought his arms around her. Catherine looked up at him, seeing a sadness in his eyes that made her heart ache for him.

Over time, his agony had lessened but the fact that Marie had planned on leaving Joseph as well, that was something he had never been able to reconcile within himself. How a mother could want to leave her own son.

"Ben, what happened? Between you and Marie?"

"I s'pose this conversation had to come sooner or later. No secrets, right? But this, what happened between Marie and I, can never get back to Joseph. I will not allow the memory of his mother be destroyed for him."

"Of course," she answered softly.

Ben rose up from the blanket, the light of the fire casting a warm glow on his bare skin. He added another log to the fire. "Perhaps, you might want to make another cup of coffee. It's going to be a long night."

In both cups, he added a healthy dose of whiskey to the coffee she had poured for them.

"Medicinal purposes?" She asked with a small smirk curling her lips.

"You could say that." No longer feeling comfortable in his nakedness, he slid into his slacks and buttoned them up, taking a seat at the table. Catherine took her cue from him and soon she found his shirt and put it on, sitting down beside him. He liked her in his shirt, she was both alluring and adorable. But this was not the time, it was time to take the load off his shoulders and rid himself of the last secret between them.

"I never should have brought her out here," he started. "This wasn't her world, I don't know that she ever even gave it a chance. New Orleans was her world, she both loved it and hated it, in equal parts. In the end though, she couldn't live without her French Quarter, wouldn't live without it and it became an ultimatum that drove a wedge between us. The beauty, the decay, the honor and deceit, it was in her blood."

"I saw her photograph Ben, she was exquisite." Catherine had felt inadequate when she had seen the photograph of Marie, stunned by her beauty and perfect porcelain features. She didn't think she could measure up to one so beautiful.

"Yes she was." He agreed. "We were married quickly, I hadn't known her for very long. Within a few months after we were married and had moved her to the Ponderosa, we found out she was with child. She was carrying Joseph. There were so many angry outbursts from her when she was carrying him, at the time I thought it was the pregnancy."

"But it wasn't just her pregnancy, was it?"

"No and after Joseph was born, I thought everything was perfect. She showered Joseph with affection, but I was blind. While she spoiled him, she virtually ignored Adam and Hoss, only when I was around did she give them much attention. I was a fool, I didn't see it, didn't want to see it."

"Ben." Catherine put her hand over his.

"I was so lonely. I told myself and others I was content with the ranch and my two sons, but it wasn't the truth. Then, when I went to New Orleans, I saw her riding through the city street, wild and beautiful and I had to have her." Ben took a long hot drink of his laced coffee. "When things got bad, I thought it had happened overnight, that she had changed instantly and couldn't understand it. Looking back now, it had been building over time, there was nothing instant about it. She hated life on the ranch from the very beginning. Everything changed Catherine, Marie was always angry, Adam was starting to withdraw into himself and even Hoss, who was very young at the time, he didn't laugh as much. He was always a happy bubbly boy, so full of zest and wonderment. Hoss started spending more time in the barn with the animals and less time in the house. Adam buried himself in books."

She stroked his hand, listening to his every word, hearing the pain in his voice at the memory of it all.

"We were still a fledgling ranch and I had to watch the money carefully at the time. She began to shop and spend like we were the wealthiest family in the west. Jewelry, dresses, hats. I was so desperate, I wanted her to be happy and have a happy home again that I indulged her whims and it began to take a toll on our financial situation and on me. But I so wanted her to be happy."

"She wasn't happy though, was she, things can only make you happy for a short while."

"Yes that's true. It was temporary happiness, like a child with a shiny new toy that soon is cast away. That's when she started to let me know how much she hated the ranch and how boring she found everything to be, including me. Oh she could yell, how many times I had to plead with her to lower her voice so the boys wouldn't be woken up, I have no idea."

The pain was etched deeply on his face and sadness filled his dark eyes. Her heart was breaking at hearing how profoundly he had been wounded by Marie.

"I began to hear of the rumors, words spoken when people thought I was out of earshot. Cruel words spoken in the bar, I had come to blows over it more than once."

"What kind of rumors?"

"That there was another man, an affair. I refused to believe it. Even when I was faced with the knowledge of how she would disappear for long periods of time during the day, while Adam and Hoss were in school and Joseph left in Hop Sing's care. The day she told me she was leaving me and leaving Joseph behind, I flew into a rage and accused her of the affair. She had burst out in tears and I gave in, trying to comfort her. Marie took off on her horse for the rest of the day and near nightfall, she came riding in fast and angry. Her horse stumbled when she yanked the reins too hard and they both fell. Marie died instantly."

"Oh God, Ben." Not able to find the right words to say, Catherine got up and went behind his chair, laying her arms over his shoulders, letting her hands rest on his chest. She kissed his neck as tears pooled in her eyes. He was cold to the touch, the winter air in the room hitting his bare chest. "You're freezing!" Getting the pelt blanket she wrapped it over his shoulders and put another log on the fire to warm the room.

He took hold of her hand. "She was having an affair."

"What? How could she? How did you…I mean how did you find out?"

"Adam." He said sadly.

Catherine leaned over to look at him, her head not believing what her ears had heard. "Adam?! I don't understand."

"When Adam returned home from college, we got into a horrible argument, worst we had ever had. During our rather heated argument, he made some snide comment about Marie, something I wouldn't allow in the house. That's when he blurted out that she never loved me and there was another man. He had seen the two of them together and never told me because, as he said, it would've torn me to pieces."

"He was trying to protect your feelings, your heart." Catherine hugged him tightly, wishing she could take his pain away.

He rose from the chair angrily, gripping the blanket around his shoulders. "Don't you see? I should have been protecting him, I'm his father and instead, I allowed him to be hurt and angry and withdraw from the world. I was blind and I let it happen. I was such a poor father to them!"

"You weren't a poor father Ben. Anyone can see how much your sons love and respect you."

"My blindness, my almost obsession with wanting to please Marie, it almost destroyed everything!"

"But it didn't. And you have three incredible grown sons. Sons that love you very much."

He nodded slowly. She was right, he did have three amazing sons. "You know, after the funeral, I came here. It took me a long time to reconcile my feelings about her, about her death. It was a lot of burden to carry. Marie did give me Joseph and for that, I'll forever be grateful. But he'll never know what happened between his Mother and I, he should keep those good thoughts of her and not have them destroyed by anyone." Ben felt a burden lifting from his shoulders and he met Catherine's gaze. Opening his arms to her, she drew close as he wrapped his arms and the blanket around her. "You've listened to me rattle on nearly all night with my sad tale. You must be exhausted."

"I'm fine Ben. I'm glad you told me what happened."

Kissing the top of her head, he hugged her tighter. "You…you are so different." He thought for a moment, "Marie was beautiful, but I found out too late, her beauty only existed on the outside. You, Catherine, you have this beauty that's on the outside but you have something else, a real beauty that comes from your soul." He pushed her shoulders slightly so she would look up at him, "no one can match how beautiful you are. I love you very much."

She buried her face in Ben's chest, her cheeks flushing hot pink. His hands traced down the sides of her, along the shirt of his that she wore so well. When his hands reached the shirttails and touched her legs, his hands shirked back at the coldness. "My God Catherine, your legs are like ice!" Shaking his head, he pointed his finger at her and she nipped at it. "And you gave me the blanket."

"Your chest was cold." She replied simply.

With ease, he scooped her up into his arms and laid her down on the rug in front of the fireplace. "So like you, worrying about others when you're turning into an icicle." Ben sat down beside her and covered them both with the pelt blanket. She curled up next to him and Ben's legs went around hers to warm them. "Get some sleep, it'll be sunup in a couple hours and we'll be heading home, our home."

As they approached home, Ben took her hand, riding slowly in beside her. From his vantage point, he could see the courtyard before she did. He caught sight of it and beamed. Three young men, three sons, had been very busy. "Catherine, look!" He pointed into the courtyard.

"Oh my goodness!" She gasped as it came into view. Colorful Chinese lanterns were hung around the courtyard, two firepits were ready with seating to warm anyone that wished to go outside, decorations were everywhere and much to her delight, paper snowflakes hung from the branches of the trees. Even the barn had a fresh coat of paint. "Ben it's beautiful!"

"It certainly is. And you were worried we would have to move our wedding day. I'd say we're still getting married tomorrow and there's not a darn thing you can do about it!"

Hoss emerged from the barn and seeing his Pa and Cat ride in, he shouted to his brothers in the house. "Adam, Joe! They're home!" Hoss, with a big grin on his face and his baby blues shining, went to help Cat down from Mercury. "Welcome home." He lifted Cat easily from the saddle and set her down as gently as a lamb.

"So are you and your brothers responsible for this?" Ben tried to look stern but the smile in his eyes belied his tone of voice. He dismounted and went to Catherine's side, his hand resting on the small of her back. "This is…"

"Pa! Catherine! You're home!" Joe and Adam came from inside the house to welcome them back.

"Ya know, Adam here was positive that the snow would melt in time for the wedding and you'd get back here on time. I wasn't so sure, but darned if big brother wasn't right." Joe put his hands on his hips and grinned.

"Again, right again." Adam corrected. "Welcome home. You can thank Hoss for the idea of getting everything ready in time, he just knew you two would work everything out and we'd have the biggest wedding party this territory has ever seen."

Hoss lowered his head, grinning and kicking at the dirt. "These two joined right in, ain't gonna take all the credit. And Cat, ya see all the snowflakes?"

"Mmm-hmm." She nodded, loving each and every one of them.

"I sorta told Jeremy ya was still gettin' hitched and he got some of the other school kids together and they made them for ya."

"I don't believe it!" She was overwhelmed and Ben hugged her tight.

"Would you like to see the inside?" Adam asked.

"There's more?"

Adam held out his hand to her, a gesture that was not lost on Ben. "Come on, come see." She took his offered hand and let the eldest son lead her inside the house. Ben was not far behind, listening to Joe's joking complaints over how hard they had worked to get everything ready.

Garlands of pine were hung over the archways and down the staircase, laced with autumn leaves and some of her favorite wildflowers. The furniture had been all pushed back in the great room and in front of the fireplace stood a white lattice arch, where they would say their vows the next afternoon.

"Boys, I'm speechless!" Even Ben couldn't believe all the trouble they had gone to. He looked down at Catherine and found tears in her eyes. "What's this? Happy tears I hope!"

"Oh yes, very happy tears! I…I just don't believe it!" She embraced each of his sons, gushing words of thanks and telling them repeatedly how beautiful everything looked. "Thank you so much, all of you. This is so delightful!" But one detail came to mind and her smile disappeared for a moment as she tried to think of alternatives.

"Something wrong Catherine?" Ben asked, seeing the change in her expression.

"Oh…it's nothing really."

"Now Catherine, I know you well enough to know that something's on your mind. Out with it." He chided.

"It's just my wedding dress, it's still at the dressmakers."

"Just your wedding dress? Darling, there's nothing just about it."

"It's done taken care of. It's in a box on your bed Cat. Figured ya might wanna dress for the wedding, seeing as how it's kinda big day."

"You picked it up for me Hoss?"

"Yep, Joe he remembered ya sayin' about havin' your dress made, so we went and got it yesterday afternoon. Lady in the shop says ya look mighty pretty in it!"

"Stunning." Joe said. "She said Catherine looked stunning in it."

"Yeah stunning."

"I just don't believe it!" She really couldn't believe it all, that they would go to such trouble to ensure that their wedding would still go on as scheduled. Ben was blessed to have such fine sons, she thought to herself. "I better go hang that dress up or it'll be all wrinkled, the dressmaker would never forgive me if that happened!" Giving Ben a quick kiss, she ran upstairs to see her dress again and hang it properly for tomorrow.

Ben was ecstatic at how everything looked, seeing the expression on her face. It was going to be the perfect wedding.

"Ya like it Pa?" Hoss asked"

"Like it? It's wonderful, simply wonderful. Boys, you really came through. I'm grateful and oh so proud of all of you." He looked at each of them, "a man couldn't ask for finer sons."

"Or a better Pa." Joseph added.

Ben was feeling his own emotions rising and struggled to keep him composure. There were serious things that needed to be discussed. "Boys listen, you know that with Catherine and I getting married, we could have a fight on our hands with Tom Irving, a long fight."

"Pa, I know I speak for Hoss and Joe. If a war's going to come with Irving, we're ready. We're a family and that includes your wife. She's going to be a Cartwright too and we stick together, right?"

"Right," Ben smiled proudly.

"We did have a bit of trouble yesterday Pa. The supply wagon got robbed the one for the lumber camp. Lost all the supplies and the new rig we ordered. But no one got hurt, that's the good news. But I'm afraid it's gonna set back the order for the railroad a few days."

"I'll speak to the railroad company after the wedding, we'll get it worked out, don't worry."

"But Pa, ain't ya still got your honeymoon?"

Ben smiled slightly, "actually we talked about that on the way back. We're going to put it off for a little while. Till things calm down." He didn't tell them about the whole conversation he had with Catherine as they made their way back to the house. He had brought up their honeymoon, the ideas he had, but she had joked at how they had already had their honeymoon, before the wedding. While Catherine was interested in having Ben take her to San Francisco someday, she seemed to be more interested in getting Ben's promise that they would return to the north cabin. He'd been surprised by her desire to go back and he smiled wistfully at remembering how she said it was their place, a place where they could get away from the world and she could be selfish in having him all to herself. Ben made a note to himself to talk to Adam about it later, about sprucing up the cabin, making it more like a second home than just a ramshackle cabin.

"That's a smart idea." Adam replied. "Then when things calm done, you two can go anywhere you'd like."

"Listen boys," Ben said seriously, "did you think about getting any men to protect the ranch tomorrow. I don't want anything happening. I wouldn't put Tom Irving above trying to ruin it. Whatever it costs, I want this place protected."

"Taken care of Pa." Joe said.

"How much did that cost?" Ben asked.

"Pa, guess we found out how much the men that work for us, respect you. It's no money from the Ponderosa. They volunteered. Some of the men from the mining camp remember too about how Cat stayed helping the men that were injured after the explosion. The ranch will be well protected in case Irving's stupid enough to try and pull something."

"Thank you, thank you for everything. It's overwhelming."

"Pa?" Hoss had something on his mind, but found it hard to say, so instead he simply told him, "Pa ya done good. Cat's gonna be a mighty fine Cartwright."

Later that night, after everyone had gone to bed, Ben found sleeping difficult. It wasn't wedding jitters that made sleep elude him but the emptiness of his large bed. The past several nights, he had fallen asleep with her in his arms. Her soft breathing, the feel of her hair on his chest and the loving words they would speak before they drifted off. Ben got out of bed and made his way down the hallway. He had thought of knocking on Catherine's door, but finding the lights out, he thought her to be fast asleep and started to return to his room.

As he did, her bedroom door creaked open and she emerged, holding a small candle in her hand. She met him in the hall and stumbled on her words. "I couldn't sleep." She said to him.

Ben strode down the hallway and put his arms around her, guiding her back into her bedroom.

"I couldn't sleep Ben."

"Neither could I," he replied, "my bed is too large and lonely to be in it alone."

"Stay with me here Ben. Tomorrow, we can sleep in your bed as husband and wife."

"Our bed," he said.

She blew out the candle, as much to avoid any light shining through the door as to not let Ben see her dress, she wanted to avoid as many omens as she could. They crawled into the soft bed together and her head rested on his shoulder as they talked about the day to come before drifting off in each other's arms.

Ben took another sip of coffee and looked towards the staircase again. Where was she, he asked himself. She should be downstairs already for breakfast.

"Pa, ya ain't touched your breakfast." Hoss told him. "Ya just been pushin' it around the plate since Hop Sing brung it out."

"I wasn't playing with my food. I was just wondering when Catherine would get downstairs for breakfast."

"Pa," Joseph chuckled. "Hop Sing brought her breakfast to her room a few hours ago."

"To her room, well why in tarnation is she having breakfast up there?!"

"Pa, you know why, it's bad luck to see the bride on the wedding day until the actual wedding. We don't want any bad luck, now do we."

"No Joseph, you're right about that. I completely forgot about that superstition." Ben finally took a forkful of eggs and began eating breakfast. He had seen Catherine, before the sunrise, when he'd left her room in the dark. It made him smile slightly, they had fallen asleep in each other's arms last night, but today she was afraid of a silly superstition. He supposed though, that after everything that had happened, trying to avoid bad luck was understandable. Tonight though, his bedroom would no longer be his own. It would be their bedroom and that large bed he had would never again seem lonely or empty. He had a lifetime of waking up with his wife in his arms to look forward to.

"Pa, shouldn't you start thinking about getting ready?" Adam asked.

"I suppose I should. You boys should think about that too, the guests will start arriving in a few hours and all the children from school too. It's going to be a very full house, especially after the wedding. Is everything ready outside?"

"Yeah Pa, we done moved the horses out to the corral. Plenty of room for everyone."

He eyed each of his sons, Adam so intelligent and yet, he was the one most difficult for Ben to read. Adam always kept things close to the vest, since he'd been a teenager but he was wise beyond his years. Hoss, so open hearted and kind, he had a way with animals just as his mother did. And Joseph, his headstrong youngest with a quick temper and a good soul, they were all so different, his sons. Many times, they had bickered and argued and Ben thought they would never come to agreements, but they did and more than ever now, he was so proud over the way they had come together for the wedding and for Catherine. "Boys, I can't tell you how proud I am of all of you. I never told you thank you for bringing Catherine to the cabin, for stopping her from getting on that stage." Ben felt tears welling up in his eyes from the pride and love he felt for all three of them. "No man…no man could be prouder of his sons than I am. I am a very lucky Father!"

"Pa…I know I speak for Hoss and Joe…you mean the world to us, the respect, the love, all that you've taught us and have yet to show us." Adam was getting choked up and stopped talking.

"Yeah, Adam's right Pa. And ya had more than yer share of heartache. We wasn't about to let that gal slip thru your fingers. She's a good un' Pa, we're gonna be proud to have her in this family."

"Thank you boys, thank you." He put the napkin to his lips and set it down. "Now…what's with all this lollygagging around, we've got a wedding to get ready for!" Before he went upstairs, he pulled Joseph aside. "Joseph, I need a favor and a fast one."

After a hot bath, Ben got himself ready for the rest of his life. His donned his best black slacks and gray morning coat, almost forgetting the silver vest she seemed to like on him so much. The black silk cravat was another story, however, and he gave up on it temporarily as he buttoned up his vest.

From his bottom dresser drawer, he carefully pulled out a package wrapped in muslin and at the knock on the door, he laid it gently down on his bed.

"Pa?" Joseph gingerly poked his head inside.

"Oh Joseph, you made record time! Any luck? Did he remember my order? Were you able to find them?" Ben was talking as fast an auctioneer.

Joe laughed, "Pa, calm down. I tell ya, it was a good thing you put the order in weeks ago. Mr. Miller says you got the last of 'em before the winter snows. And I found a whole patch of the other ones beside the road on the way back. What did you want them for Pa, they grow like weeds around here." Joe unwrapped the red roses and handed over a handful of Indian blanket wildflowers.

"She loves wildflowers. You know.." He chuckled, "I think she'd rather have a whole roomful of wildflowers than red roses, any day of the week. Strange woman, she is."

"I like her Pa." Joe sat down on the edge of the bed. "She can sure ride!"

"Yes, yes she can. She certainly gave you a run for your money!"

"I don't know her as good as Adam and Hoss, or you. But I seen how she helps others, how spirited she is and giving. I kinda like to think that my Mother and her would've been close. They seem so much alike. I bet she would of liked Catherine a lot."

Ben lowered his head and started to open the small package on his bed. "Yes, yes, I'm sure they would've been fine friends." Ben pulled back the last remaining bit of fabric and let his fingers run over the leather binding of the book.

"What's that Pa? Sure looks old."

"It is." Ben picked up carefully. "It belonged to my father, your grandfather. His Bible, he used to read from it every night.

"And you kept it all this time." Joseph looked at the worn leather and yellowed pages.

Setting it down for a moment, Ben got a small pocket knife from the dresser and cut off some of the stem from a rose and deftly removed the thorns. Opening the Bible, he set the rose and two Indian Blankets inside. "Joseph, I know Catherine never had time to think about carrying flowers. But would you bring this to her? Well…maybe she won't want to carry it…but if she'd like to carry this with her…she can…I mean I'd be honored if she'd like to carry it…"

"Pa!" Joseph put his hand on his nervous father's shoulder. "Don't worry Pa, I'll bring it to her. I'm sure she'd love to carry it." Joe took the Bible from him and started out the door just as Hoss was headed inside. "Be careful around Pa, Hoss, never seen him so nervous in my life!" Joe giggled as he walked down the hall to Catherine's room.

"You okay Pa?" Hoss asked.

"I'm fine, just fine." Ben set about using his pocket knife to take off any remaining thorns from the roses. He looked up at his middle son, all dressed and ready. "You look fine Hoss, very handsome."

"Shucks, I hope so Pa."

The pocket knife slipped in his sweaty palm and the tip of it stabbed his thumb. "Oww..Dammit!"

Hoss grabbed his handkerchief and wrapped it around the bleeding thumb. "Better let me finish those roses. Now leave that there till it done stops bleeding Pa!" Hoss sat down and finished checking the roses. "Boy Pa, short shanks was right, ya sure are nervous."

"Well, it's not every day that a man gets married ya know!" He rolled his eyes, looking at his thumb and shaking his head at his clumsiness.

"But ya know ya love her and ya know ya wanna marry her, right?"

"Of course I do Hoss, very much."

"Then why ya so nervous?"

"Someday, you'll understand Hoss, someday." Ben grinned and shooed him out of his room. "The guests are going to be arriving any minute and I haven't even finished dressing yet."

"Hey Pa?" Joe came into his room again, "Catherine said she'd be honored to carry it."

"She did?" He smiled a mile wide. "Good, good. Now get downstairs with your brother. Oh and check on Hop Sing, make sure everything is going alright in the kitchen, we don't want anyone hungry later."

"Yessir!" Joseph slammed his Pa's door shut.

Ben tried once again with the cravat, but now with a throbbing bandaged thumb, it was an impossible task to get it done. Once again, there was a knock on the door. "What now?!" He bellowed.

Adam opened the door slowly, having already been warned by his brothers about Pa's nerves. "I thought I'd come check in, see if there's anything I can help with."

"You could help me with this dang thing!" He tossed the cravat at his eldest and held up his thumb.

"Whatcha do Pa?"

"Stabbed myself with the knife."

Adam snickered, "Pa, if you wanna get out of the wedding that badly…."

Ben laughed, "figures, I go and stab myself with my pocket knife on my wedding day."

"Better not show that to Cat, Pa. You know how she is about doctoring. She'll stop the ceremony and be putting stitches in your thumb at the altar!"

"You're right about that! Guess I better keep my hand in my pocket." It was good to share a laugh with Adam, the nerves he felt melted away. When his laughter died down, he asked Adam to close the door. "Adam, are you happy about today?"

Adam put the cravat around his Pa's collar and began tying it up. "You mean am I happy about the wedding? It doesn't matter if I'm happy Pa, what matters is if you are. I'm a grown man now."

He put his hand over his son's. "It does matter to me Adam, it matters if you're happy and I think you are. But you've always been good at keeping your feelings to yourself."

His words meant a lot to him. "I am happy Pa and I'm happy for you. She's going to be a good addition to our family."

"You're not just sayin' that."

Adam thought for a moment and sat down. "No Pa, I'm not just saying that. She's a good woman, smart, pretty, cares about others and anyone can see that she loves you. And stubborn too, don't forget that, she fits right in."

"Yes she certainly does. Adam…thank you."

"Oh you're cravat's tied. You better come downstairs, it's getting rather crowded. Oh and Paul's here but not Martha, he said she had a headache. You'd think she'd come and help Cat get ready."

"Yes, well…I'm sure she would've come if she were able to."

He laid out the roses and wildflowers on the bed and made one last check of himself in the mirror before leaving his room. "Our room." He smiled and closed the door behind him. At Catherine's door he knocked softly. "Catherine?"

Catherine went to the door but didn't open it, she was having her own difficulties with getting ready. "Ben?"

"I'll see you downstairs soon darling. I love you."

Before she could respond, she heard his boots racing down the stairs and his booming voice saying a hearty greeting to everyone. "Oh I wish I was that relaxed!" She sat down heavily at the vanity table, looking at herself in the mirror and wishing Martha were there or that there'd been enough time for her best friend Millie to come from New York for the wedding. She could have used their company and she wished they were there to help her with her hair. No matter what she did, she didn't like it. Her long auburn hair was not cooperating with any style that she tried. Putting her chin in her hands, she stared at the mirror, almost hoping that her reflection would give her an answer.

Adam knocked on her door. "Cat? It's about that time, you almost ready?"

"Come in Adam, almost ready."

He opened the door hesitantly and was taken aback when she rose from her chair. He let out a low whistle. "I must say Cat, the dressmaker said that you looked stunning in your wedding dress but she didn't quite do you justice. Exquisite Catherine, you look exquisite. Pa's not going to be able to take his eyes off of you."

"You think so?" She twirled to let Adam see the whole gown. Its pale gold color set off the light tan on her skin. The narrow full collar sat just on her shoulders and the tight bodice showed off her small waist and slight curves perfectly. She had been so nervous about the dress with the fur and low neckline, the elaborate details and small pearls that adorned it. She'd not worn anything so elaborate since she'd lived in New York and these days, she much preferred her riding clothes to anything else. "Is Martha here yet? I thought she'd be here hours ago to help me get ready." She asked.

"Paul's here but I'm afraid Martha wasn't feeling well and won't be coming today."

"Oh I see."

"You look ready to me." Adam smiled at her.

"It's silly I know, but I keep trying to put my hair up and it just doesn't look right."

"You know," Adam grinned slyly, "I suppose I wasn't meant to hear it, seeing as how Pa whispered it to you. But I do recall him telling you how much he liked your hair down."

"You heard him say that?" Catherine sat down, looking in the mirror.

"Yep I did."

She thought for a moment and pulled a small gold barrette from the drawer, pulling a few strands of hair away from her face and pinning it back and finally smiling at her reflection. "That was a wonderful idea Adam! Thank you!" She got up and put a small kiss on his cheek. "Adam….you know I love your Father very much. I'm going to do my best to be a good wife and make him happy. He so deserves to be happy, every day."

"I know you will Cat. And I know you do love him." Adam leaned against the door. "If I had any doubts about that, my brothers and I would've never taken you to him at the cabin."

"Yes, I think I know that. Thank you for taking me there, for not letting me leave and for everything Adam. It means so much!"

Adam started to leave. "Five minutes? Think you'll be ready to start downstairs in five? Pa's starting to pace and the pianist is getting almost as fidgety as Hoss!"

"Five minutes." She laughed. But as he started to close the door, she had another thought. "Adam?" She called out.

"Yeah?"

"You'll be standing with your brothers and your Pa during the ceremony?"

"Yes I will."

"I was hoping I could prevail upon you for a favor. Seems I have a bit of wedding jitters and my legs are as wobbly as a newborn foal. Would you mind walking with me?"

Adam turned around to look at her, a bit of pride puffing out his chest. "You mean walk you down the aisle? To Pa?"

"If you wouldn't mind." She folded her hands together.

"I would be honored Cat." He started to take her arm, but then remembered he had one task left to do before that. "One moment." Adam dashed out the door and to the top of the staircase, giving the pianist the signal to start the music.

Ben heard the music begin and his heart skipped a beat. He couldn't wait to see his bride. He took his place in front of the fireplace, Hoss gave his arm a small squeeze. Ben looked up and saw Adam disappear again. "Now where is he…" His words caught in his throat when his eldest son emerged at the top of the staircase with Catherine on his arm. Ben drank her in, "My God..so beautiful." He murmured.

"You ready?" Adam whispered to her.

"Oh yes."

He walked her down the stairs, holding her arm in his until they were near the fireplace and Adam stepped away as his Pa took his place next to her and took her small hands in his.

"Dearly beloved…" The Reverend began.

Catherine spied the white cloth wrapped around Ben's thumb and looked at him with questioning eyes. He shrugged slightly and as the Reverend continued to speak, she brought his hand to her lips and kissed the injured thumb. "I do." Catherine managed to say at the right moment but she was forever lost in the loving dark eyes that looked into her soul and she didn't mind one bit.

"The ring?" The Reverend asked.

Hoss pulled it from his pocket and handed it to him. The Reverend duly blessed it and gave the small gold band to Ben.

Taking her finger, he slid the band on and wrapped her hand in his. "With this ring, I thee wed, and with it, I bestow upon thee all the treasures of my mind, heart, and hands." His eyes stayed on her as he spoke the words softly.

"By the power vested in me by the church and the Nevada territory, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss…"

The Reverend didn't get the chance to finish, Ben's lips met hers in a tender loving kiss. When she opened her eyes, he loved how they sparkled up at him. His wife, she was his wife. He took hold of her tightly and kissed her again.

"Ladies and Gentlemen. May I present, Mr. and Mrs. Benjamin Cartwright."

Catherine blushed at his second kiss and kept her arms around his waist.

"Mrs. Cartwright." He whispered.

The reverend said his final words of the service above the growing din of congratulations and shouts of 'huzzah!'

"Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder."


End file.
